King Natsu
My first Fairy Tail fanfic; it's to be a parody of "King Homer" from Treehouse of Horror III.
Cast of characters
Natsu Dragneel as Homer
Lucy Heartfilia as Marge
Makarov Dreyer as Mr. Burns
Laxus Dreyer as Waylon Smithers
Gray Fullbuster as Lenny
Gajeel Redfox as Carl
Romeo Conbolt as Charlie
Elfman Strauss as Otto
Happy as Barney
Jason as Dave Shutton
Mirajane Strauss as Pilot 1
Erza Scarlet as Pilot 2
It was a dark and foggy evening a young woman with blonde approaches two men; one being a short elderly old man and the other being tall and musculiar man with blonde hair and a lightning shaped scar over his left eye.
Lucy: My name is Lucy Heartfila. And here about your ad. (reading) Blonde young woman wanted for mysterious expedition. Must like monkeys. Non-smoker preferred.
Makarov: Well, you'd be welcomed to be a change of pacefrom these the rest of these crude and uncouth sailors.
We switch to two sailors saying "Arr" to one another; and they repeat it until we switch back to Makarov and Laxus.
Makarov: What do you think, Laxus?
Laxus: I think women and sea-men don't mix.
Makarov: We know what you think. (Turns to Lucy) Young Lady, you're hired.
As Makarov gives off a sinister laugh, Lucy has a look of concern in her eyes as she wonders what she has gotten herself into. The next day in the middle of the sea, Lucy is sunbathing on the deck, as Gajeel, Gray, and Romeo are watching her from the smokestack.
Gajeel: Hey, I heard we're going to Ape Island.
Gray: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island instead.
Romeo: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Gajeel: Apes. But they're not so big.
The ship is ashored Ape Island as the natives are chanting "Natsu", their ape king as well as they are dancing around.
Elfman: Who's this Natsu guy? He sounds pretty manly if the natives are chanting it.
NATSU! NATSU! NATSU!
Makarov: He's either a fifty-foot prehistoric ape, or a tourist trap set up by the ape island jaycess. Either way, we're going ashore.
Lucy walks up to them.
Lucy: Am I going too?
Makarov: Of course. We wouldn't want to go without the bait. (Realizing what he said) That is the bait-thing beauty... The bathing beauty. (Chuckles a little) I've covered that up pretty well.
On the island, Makarov, Laxus, and Lucy are in the bushes spying on the Natives while they continue to chant Natsu and dance. The tribal chief notices the trio lerking in the bushes.
Makarov: Try to remain inconspicucoius.
Tribal Chief: Mosi Tatupu! Mosi Tatupu!
Translation: That busty blonde chick will make a nice sacrifice.
Lucy: (Whispering) What's he saying?
Makarov: Uh, well... he said that he wouldn't dream of sacrificing the blonde beauty.
Lucy: Well, at least they have an for-Whoa!
Lucy's words are cut when the natives grab her. Lucy is dressed in sacrifical garments and her hands are tied between two pillars.
Lucy: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Meanwhile, far off on the island King Natsu is seen fighting a T. Rex; Natsu has the dnosaur in a headlock and just when he's about to finish it off he's distracted by the sound of the gong, wondering about what that was about he turns his head then the T. Rex bites his arm as soon as he loosens his grip.
CHOMP!
Natsu: D'OH!
His cry is echoed throughout the island. A few minutes later, Natsu went to the gates as he investigates where the screams are coming from. Lucy looks upon the pink haired ape's face as it leers down at her from the treetops.
Lucy: AAAAAHHHHHHH!
Makarov: Laxus, this a golden opportunity! If we get him alive, we can put him on broadway! Dead, and we can sell monkey stew to the army.
Natsu picks Lucy up and he giggles as he plays with with her hair.
Lucy: Keep your hands to yourself, mister!
Natsu then sniffs her hair and gives off a seductive purr as he finds the smell to his liking; Lucy giggles at the ape's gesture. Makarov and his crew bust through the gates with guns and cannons!
Makarov: Now, we don't want to kill it! Shoot it around the groin and belly!
Natsu gives an angry roar as the crew began firing at him, he places Lucy on the top of a near by tree. Gray fires his cannon at Natsu, causing him to grab Gray and put him in his mouth. Gray's upper body pops out of Natsu's mouth.
Gray: Cut it out, Natsu! C'mon! Quit eating me!
Gajeel fires his riffle aiming for the ape only to hit Gray in his arm.
Gray: Ow! Nice shot, metal-head!
Natsu sticks Gray back into his mouth and he chews and swallows him. A few seconds later, he let's out a loud burp. Makarov uncrates a box full of gas bombs and holds one of them, and prepares to throw it at Natsu.
Makarov: Alright, you big ape. Get a snootful of this gas bomb.
Makarov throws it at Natsu only to miss and bump a giant lizard in the head, causing it to bounce back and land right at Makarov's feet. The lizard falls on his back.
Makarov: Oh...
Makarov ends up getting a snootful himself. Natsu then grabs another sailor and eats him. Makarov is under the gas' effects as he sings his version of the strolling through the park song. Laxus grabs another gas bomb and throws it next to Natsu and the smoke takes effect as he falls asleep on his belly. Makarov and Laxus walk next to his head.
Makarov: Nice work, Laxus. When we get back, I'm giving you a raise!
In a blink of an eye Natsu swallows Laxus whole. Makarov stares at the sleeping primate wide-eyed for a moment.
Makarov: Oh, well.
Back in the Town of Magnolia Natsu is chained up while Natsu is chained up like the beast that he is. Natsu roars in rage as Lucy watches with sorrow. Reporters walks up to Makarov as he is now in a black tux and a top hat. Jason speaks up.
Jason: What kind of show do you have for us, Mr. Dreyer?
Makarov: Well, the ape's going to stand around for three hours or so. Then we'll close the show with the ethnic comedy of Duggan and Dirschwitz.
Jason: (With so much excitement!) Sensational!
Makarov is now on stage making his announcement.
Makarov: Ladies and gentlemen! In his native land, he was a king! But he comes before in chains for your own amusement! Presenting Natsu! The Eighth Wonder of the World!
Happy stands up from his chair and rudely points at the platform while holding a bag of fish.
Happy: Whoa! Look at the size of that platform!
The reporters started to take pictures of the chained beast; then the flashes of their cameras began to enrage him.
Natsu: Roar! Roar! ROOOAAAARRR!
Lucy: I think you're making him angry.
Jason: Oh come on! What is he going to do? Break out and run amok across downtown Magnolia?
Natsu began to break his bonds and he stops for a moment to scratch himself. Everyone began screaming as Natsu stomps on the screaming Jason as everyone runs out of the theater. Everyone, except for happy who offers him some of his fish.
Happy: Hey, monkey! You want some fish?
Natsu grabs the whole bag and eats it. Happy became angry.
Happy: I said one!
The angry blue cat began kicking his foot; Natsu ignored him as he began to search for a certain blonde woman. Natsu breaks through the wall and then breaks through the other as he hears music being played. To be seen is a little girl singning "The Good Ship Lollipop" song. Natsu began briefly charmed by her singing.
Little girl: (Singning) On the good ship lollipop.
Its a sweet trip to a candy shop
Where bon-bons-
Natsu then grabs the girl as she screams. He puts her in his mouth and chewed and swallowed her. Lucy and Makarov are in a hotel suite sitting on the couch.
Makarov: I am dreading the reviews, I can tell you that.
Natsu's face can be seen in the window and Lucy gives off a smile.
Lucy: Hi, Natsu!
Natsu sticks his hand in though the window as he grabs Lucy. She began screaming and waving her arms as Natsu carries her. He begins to climb up as he sees that's going to be a hard one. Natsu gives off a groan. Four airplanes are seen flying around. Two female pilots, one with silver hair and the other with scarlet hair takes notice of Natsu's lack of effort.
Mirajane: He sure is taking his sweet time.
Erza: Better refuel.
The planes take their leave as they are going to refuel; Natsu, still carring Lucy in his hand began sweating.
Lucy: You don't look so good. You should have eaten more vegetables and less people.
Natsu: Uh-huh.
Natsu puts Lucy on a ledge as he takes his fall, but it was nowhere near halfway up. Natsu gives off a groan, Lucy places her hand on his face.
Lucy: He's not dead!
Makarov: No, but his career is. I remember when Bob danced on top of the chapel, and after that he couldn't get aressted in this town.
Natsu gives off another groan as Makarov takes his leave.
Lucy: Don't worry Natsu. I'll take care of you.
Many months had passed, as King Natsu and Lucy are to be married. Friends and families of both sides watching the two exchange thier vows. A monkey walks in and an usher greets him.
Usher: Are you with the bride of groom?
The monkey ooks and raises his arm as he indicates that he is with the groom.
Usher: Right this way.
After the wedding, everyone gathers as the photographer is trying to take a picture, but there two apes cleaing each other.
Photographer: Folks, if we could stop cleaning each other for just a moment!
Layla: Wait Lucy! I can't find your father!
Jude's leg is seen from Natsu's mouth as he slurps it in; Natsu gives off a little burp, then he sheepishly looks at his bride, but Lucy just smiles.
Lucy: Oh Natsu!
The End.