Disclaimer: I own nothing but this sad attempt at humor and Serenity. bluediamondwolf owns Kirie. Notes: This was a challenge on the FF message board, so it's somehow funny. And strange. Feel free to throw things at me if you hate it. [Enter onto a horror movie-esque scene. Serenity, Sabin, Edgar and Kirie, all dressed in white lab coats, are surrounding a human-looking figure under a cloth on a table.] Sereity: IT'S ALIVE!! IT IS ALIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!! Sabin: [pokes the limp figure] Uh, Serry...it doesn't look to alive to me... Kirie: [shrugs] Maybe it's just...resting. Edgar:What exactly is our purpose for this again? Serenity: [groans] I told you, Maca-Roni. I figure, if Sephy can make a weirdo, science-fair project of a mother, then we can do it too. Kirie: Only we're doing something even better than raising parents from the dead. Sabin: Which would be...? [The two girls look at each other and smile] Edgar: What the hell is a Setzeroth?? Kirie: It's a mix between Setzer and Sephiroth. Sabin: Okay...so why isn't it moving? Serenity: I think I know why. Serenity: [winces] I forgot to put the brain in. Kirie: [wrinkles up her nose] Eddy, go get us a brain out of the jar on the counter please. Sabin: You keep brains in jars? Serenity: Actually, this isn't our lab. It's Sephy's. Edgar: And that explains everything! [goes to get a jarred brain] Kirie: Who's gonna put the brain in? Sabin: Yeah. Not even you know brain surgery, Ser. Serenity: [shrugs and smiles] How hard could it be? Serenity: Kidding...I got someone to do it for us. Edgar: [carrying in a brain in a jar] Who? [The door opens. In steps a man wearing a lab coat and a surgeon's mask, so his face is hidden. Everyone but Serenity looks frightened.] Kirie: W...who's that...? Serenity: [smiles at the masked man] Aw, cut it out! You're scaring them! Man: Sorry. [he takes off the mask, to reveal none other than...] All (except Serry): VINCENT??!! Serenity: Yuppers. [grabs Vincent's arm] I asked him if he'd help, and he said he'd put the brain in for us. Vincent:[shrugs] I get to operate on someone that looks like Sephiroth. How could I refuse. Besides, she asked so nicely. Kirie: [whispers to Serenity] He looks like a vampire... Serenity:[whispers back] So? So did Setzer when I first met him... Edgar: [taps the jar] Hellloooo...Guy holding a brain here... Sabin: I think what my brother means to say is: Can we get this over with? Vincent: Sure. [points to Edgar] What's-your-name. Fish that brain outta there and hand it to me. Edgar: [looks sick] You want me to touch it?! Vincent: [rolls his eyes] No, I want you to move it with your mind.....Is that possible for you? Vincent: Oh. Okay then. Just pull it out of the jar, and let's get to work. [Edgar tries to get the brain out of the jar, but spills it. The brain bounces on the floor like a quarter-machine super ball. Everyone scrambles around to catch it, running into each other, the lab supplies, walls, etc... Finally, Kirie catches the thing, and Vincent puts it in the creation.] Serenity: [hands Sabin a pair of those electrical cords that you charge dead car batteries with] We zap him to life! Sabin: [attaches one of the clip things to the creature, and hands Vincent the other one] Put that on the little generator thing over there please. Vincent: [hooks the other side to the electrical generator and is immediately fried] AAAAAHHHH!!!!! [a charred Vincent walks over to Sabin] You.. did.. that.. on.. purpose.. Sabin: [aloud] Why, whatever do you mean? [to Vincent] Stay away from my girlfriend, you vampire. Kirie: [stands behind a row of levers] Everybody get back! I'm juicin' it up! [Everyone puts on their safety goggles] [She flips the generator on. The electricity surges through the cords into the Setzeroth creature. Kirie turns the generator off.] [The Setzeroth twitches. It sits up all Frakenstein-ish and looks at the group.] Mama!! Sephiroth: [bursts in through the door] What in the hell are you people doing in my lab??!! [looks at Vincent] And what's he doing here?! Setzer: [enters the room half-asleep] What's wrong with you people? I'm tryin' to SLEEP here... Setzeroth: [turns to Sephiroth and Setzer] Mama!! Daddy!! Serenity: [laughs nervously] Surprise. Kirie: We made a little something in your lab. Sabin: It's called a Setzeroth. Part Setzer, part Sephiroth. Edgar: And I believe it thinks you're it's dad, Setzer. Vincent: [chuckles] And it thinks Sephiroth's it's mother! Setzeroth: [jumps off the table and starts chasing Setzer and Sephiroth] MAMA!! DADDY!!! Setzer: What in the name of 7-Flush??!! Sephiroth: Mama, save me!! [The Setzeroth chases Setz and Sephy out of the room, as the others laugh away.] A/N: This was stupid. Yet funny... |
A Strange Creation
By: Karu Leonnese