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Cloisterea
by tamiko
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You may notice some OOC but this is a humor fic so I couldn't help it. *starts crying* now to the part I don't like. I *sniffle* don't *sob* own *continues sobbing* Gundam Wing *gains her composure* there said it HA now you can't sue me for my $0.45. Ha Ha you are out of luck! *men in white coats come up and start dragging her away* read the story.

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Hilde had just gotten done with breakfast, though it was just past noon, when she heard the phone ring.

"Hello?" Hilde answered the phone without much enthusiasm. With her luck it was someone trying to sell her some thing.

"Hilde? This is Relena. Are you sick you sound half dead?" Relena was talking fast and had way to much energy for her own good.

"I'm not sick, I just stayed up really late on my computer." Hilde replied wanted her to get to the point.

"Great! I was hoping that you would join my on a trip to a convent. The Mother Superior wants me to come thank the sisters for their help in supporting pacifism and spreading peace around the world. Nothing big, I go give a speech of gratitude for their support and I get to stay with them for a week to learn about what they do there. I asked if I could bring a friend and they said I could as long as it wasn't a boy." Relena seemed very excited about this.

"Can I guess that I'm that special friend?" Hilde questioned her. She was starting to think of the possibilities.

"Of corse we don't want the guys to take us for granted. A week away from them will make them realize how much they care. So are you with me?"

"Without a doubt."

"Wonderful." Relena continued to give Hilde more information, they were leaving in three days, pack light and so on.

Three days later in Heero's Preventers office....

"Did you hear that Relena and Hilde went to a convent for a week leaving us here stranded here alone with no girls." Duo started waving his arms emphasizing what he was saying.

"Hn." was all Heero replied, it's not like Duo expected more, it was that this was a traumatic situation.

"I wonder what Relena would think if she found out that you didn't miss her. I miss Hilde." Duo started whining. "I bet they are doing this just to spite me!"

"I miss Relena too."

"Wufei would call you weak for that." Duo remarked. Heero turn to face Duo.

"Wufei also uses really strong hair gel and calls anything that has to do with women weak." Duo nodded agreeing with Heero's statement.

"Point there. Are you sure only women are allowed in there?"

"I've already looked for any exceptions and found none, unless you are a woman and aren't telling me something you aren't getting in there." Heero reassured Duo's fear.

Duo's face brightened up with what seemed an idea. Heero was scared. Undoing his braid and putting his hair around his shoulders, Duo struck a pose.

"How womanly do I look?" Duo questioned. Heero couldn't believe what Duo was asking him.

"Fair."

"I vote for dressing up as women and visiting the girls." Duo concluded.

"No."

"You want to see Relena don't you?" Duo was close to pleading.

"Urg! If we get caught I'll kill you." Heero threatened. All he wanted was to see Relena.

"I'll help." Both Heero and Duo looked toward the door to see Dorothy standing there.

"Huh?" the two chimed in unison.

"I told you that I'd help you so you don't get caught." Dorothy repeated. "Besides you won't be able to do this on your own." Heero looked toward the ceiling.

"Why me?" Dorothy just laughed. She was looking forward to this.

"Oh Heero, do you have that report done?" Dorothy asked. Heero just tossed her a diskette. Dorothy left laughing.

"Was that a bright idea?" Duo asked Heero cautiously.

"Nope."

"At least we can see the girls."

"That is the only good thing." Heero replied grumpily.

They went back to work looking forward but almost dreading when Dorothy would help them get ready to visit the girls...

*After work*

"HI GUYS!" Dorothy yelled as she ran toward Duo and Heero.

"Why me?" Heero muttered as he looked toward the sky.

"You seem awfully happy Dorothy." Duo said with a hint of fear in his voice.

"You tell me how often do you get the opportunity to turn two Gundam pilots into..." Dorothy started laughing before she could finish her sentence. "WOMEN!!" She managed out. Getting control of herself, Dorothy lead the boys towards the mall.

*At the Mall*

"Now you guys are going to pretend you guys are shopping for your girlfriends." Dorothy instructed Duo and Heero outside Lerners.

Heero looked toward the ceiling, "why me? Why me?"

Dorothy lead them in and walked them to a display that had 3-quartered-sleeved shirts. "How do you think this one would look for Hilde, Duo?" Dorothy asked holding up a dark green shirt.

"I think that one would be PERFECT." Duo replied. "This yellow one would look great on Relena, Heero."

"No, she likes, ummmmm, black!" Heero stuttered out.

"Yeah your right, black is a figure forming color." Dorothy said trying not to laugh uncontrollably. Hearing this, Heero's eyes bulged out.

Dorothy picked up the shirts and when over to a rack of skirts. (AN - ha ha! skirts! not pants...skirts! I'm so cruel!)

Pulling out a garnet red-colored full length skirt, Dorothy showed it to Heero. "This one would look good with the black shirt Heero, and this navy blue one would bring out your eyes Duo."

"Do you really think so?" Duo asked excitedly. He's getting into this way to much.

Heero looked toward the ceiling, "why me? Why me?"

"Okay, that's all from this store." Dorothy chimed out as she walked towards the cash register. Heero continued mumbling to himself as he followed her.

"Next stop...Victoria's Secret!" Dorothy yelled as she punched the air above her.

"What are we getting there?" Duo asked innocently.

"Water-bras." Was Dorothy's simple reply.

Heero looked toward the ceiling, "why me? Why me?"

Entering the store, past the half dressed mannequins, giant posters of women in their underwear, and stacks of mints to make you taste good for kissing (AN: which I must add are very good), to the water-bras.

"Ok, I'll be sympathetic and get you guys...Duo your nose is bleeding." Dorothy ended with shock in her voice.

"What do you expect? Look around the store and tell me it wouldn't affect a guy." Duo said in defense.

"Nothing is wrong with Heero." Dorothy pointed out as she handed Duo a kleenex.

"Perfect soldier training." Heero responded before Duo could continue to try to make excuses.

"What would..I'm just not going to ask. But any ways, I got what I think will fit you guys. You should be able to borrow some of my shoes, so once we pay for this we are done shopping.

Heero looked toward the ceiling, "Thank you!"

*The Next Day at Dorothy's*

It was morning and Heero and Duo were sitting on Dorothy's couch. The bags from the previous day's shopping plus a couple of pairs of shoes were at the foot of the couch. Dorothy was standing in front of them.

"Heero, I think this pair will work the best." Dorothy pointed to a pair of four inch heeled shoes. They were black and matched his outfit. Heero nodded, accepting his fate. "And these will work for you." Dorothy tossed a pair of leather sandals to Duo.

"Go change into your clothes and then on to the hair." Dorothy instructed the pilots. A few minutes later Heero and Duo came back in their lovely outfits.

"Does this make me look fat?" Duo asked mocking all other women. Dorothy just rolled her eyes at his comment. Heero just stood there with his arms crossed.

"Now onto the hair...Duo you first!" Dorothy flashed a giant smile. "Now sit down." Dorothy instructed as she pulled out a chair for him to sit in next to the sink. She un-did his braid and brushed it out. She had him put his head back into the sink so she could wash his hair. Once she was done washing, Duo noticed Heero staring at him strangely.

"What?!" Duo asked Heero. Heero just picked up a mirror off the counter and tossed it to him. "MY HAIR!!! What did you do to my hair?" Duo nearly yelled noticing that his hair had lightened up in color, changed from his dark brown to a muddy blonde. Duo wrapped his hair up in a towel on his head and motioned for Heero to sit down.

Heero looked toward the ceiling, "why me? Why me?"

Dorothy brushed his hair, noticing the length (it went down to his chin). Doing the same to him and she did to Duo, she lightened his hair to a white yellow blonde color. Heero, looking in the mirror at himself, told Dorothy "I'll kill you later for this." Dorothy merely shrugged, it was worth it after all. Pulling out one of her hair-bands, she stuck it in Heero's hair.

"All done!" Dorothy proclaimed. "Duo, it's time to finish up with you."

"I thought I was done though!" Duo complained.

"No, we were just waiting for your hair to dry."

Duo sat back down in the chair, and Dorothy brought out her curling iron and curled Duo bangs. Using her brush, she fluffed them to how she wanted them to look. Setting down her brush she pronounced him done.

"Well boys, that's all I can help you with. Have fun getting in and remember to tell me EVERYTHING." Dorothy told them.

"And if we don't?" Heero asked.

"Well, Relena and Hilde might like to know..."

"We'll tell you, don't worry." Duo hurriedly said, not wanting to know what all Dorothy would tell the girls.

Duo and Heero left for their next destination...the convent.

*Outside the Convent*

"What's taking Duo so long?" Heero grumbled to himself. He was growing restless because Duo hadn't come back.

**Flash back**

"We're here!" Duo exclaimed.

Heero looked toward the ceiling of the car, "why me? Why me?"

"Oh, it's not that bad, buddy 'ol pal." Duo said with an evil smirk on his face. "You stay here for a second, I'll be back." And with that, Duo hopped out of the car and went into the convent.

**End flash back**

'I wonder what he's doing in there.' Heero thought.

"I'm back!" Duo announced his arrival.

"Do I want to know what's in that bag?" Heero asked with a grim face.

"Hmmm, probably not but you're going to find out." He laughed. Duo pulled out from the bag a nun's outfit. "This if for you to put on Heero." Duo instructed.

"How come the bag is empty now? Isn't there another one in there for you?" Heero questioned suspiciously.

"Nope."

"I'm not putting it on."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Fine, I give up...you're not." Duo sighed. "You could at least try it on."

"Urg!" Heero grabbed the outfit, put it on, struck a pose, and immediately throw it off. "Happy now?" Cried Heero exasperated.

"Fine, be that way. I thought it looked nice on you."

"Har, har, let's just go in." Heero started walking on, tripping slightly every so often from the four inch heels. Duo followed him in.

*Inside the Convent*

"So once again I thank you for all of your help and support." Relena finished her speech. Everyone broke out clapping. Relena smiled and walked of the stage to where Hilde was waiting for her.

"Very good!" Hilde congratulated her.

"You think so?"

"Yes, you did."

"Well, I'm exhausted. Let's go out to the gardens." Relena suggested.

"That'll be nice." Hilde replied. They both started off in the direction of the gardens.
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"Where are you heading off to?" Duo questioned Heero who was walking off in some unknown direction.

"I'm looking for the gardens." Heero mumbled.

"Why the gardens?" Duo asked.

"Knowing Relena, she's going to stop by the gardens sometime today." Heero replied nonchalantly.

"Brilliant, brilliant man! Where Relena is, there will be Hilde also!" Duo said patting Heero on the head. Heero knocked away Duo's hand.

"Do you have any idea where the gardens might be?" Heero inquired.

"Well, we could look for the big green plants over there?" Duo observed pointing down a path.

"Smart." Heero remarked. Duo and Heero started down the path hoping they were going in the right direction.

As they were about to turn the corner to enter the garden, Heero tripped over a pebble and stumbled falling onto a lady in front of them.
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Just as Relena and Hilde were about to enter the gardens, a woman in a black 3/4-length sleeve shirt and a garnet red skirt tripped and fell on Relena. (AN: I wonder who that was..*snickers*) As Relena went tumbling down, she grabbed Hilde who joined them in the fall.

"I'm so sorry." The woman exclaimed as she got up. "It's these shoes, I'm just not used to the high-heels."

Hilde and Relena got up dusting themselves off. Relena looked questioningly at the woman who had fallen on them.

"Do I know you?" she asked. The woman seemed vaguely familiar to her.

"I don't think so, we might have passed at the mall or something."

Relena just shrugged it off.

"Oh, excuse my manners. I'm Relena Peacecraft, and this is my friend Hilde Schbeiker. What's your name?"

"Umm, my name is...Bridget Walther, and this is my friend Arabella Eaton." Bridget replied.

"It's nice to meet you Bridget, Arabella." Relena said.

Hilde nodded at them with acknowledgment. The four women walked into the garden. There was a colorful arrangement of flowers around them.

"This is beautiful!" exclaimed Arabella.

"It is, isn't it?" agreed Hilde.

"So Bridget," Relena said, looking around at the flowers, "what is your favorite flower?"

"Umm, I'd say it's, daffodils." Bridget replied. "What about yours?"

"My choice would be daisies." Relena decided.

"Oh Bridget, look at the time!" Arabella said, looking at her watch. "We must be going soon, we don't want to be late."

"Oh you're right!" responded Bridget.

"Late for what?" questioned Hilde.

"We're going out to dinner with our boyfriends." Arabella replied.

"Oh, that sounds fun!" Relena exclaimed. Bridget couldn't help but smile.

"Well, we better be off, come on Arabella." Bridget called as she started to leave. A chorus of good-byes were heard as Arabella and Bridget left.

Once out of hearing range, Heero and Duo sighed.

"That was close." Duo remarked. "What possessed you to come up with 'Arabella'??"

"Think of it as revenge."

"What do you mean revenge? I wasn't the one that tripped and fell all over them!"

"YOU were not wearing four inch heels and YOU were the one that dragged me here." Heero defended himself.

"Let's just leave." Duo sighed. Heero just nodded in agreement.

*At Dorothy's*

Hearing the door-bell ring, Dorothy jumped up and ran to the door fearing the worst. At the door was Duo and Heero. Heero handed Dorothy her shoes and the clothes that they had worn.

"Here, enjoy." Heero stated and turned to leave.

"Wait! Aren't you supposed to tell me EVERYTHING?" Dorothy questioned.

"Later." Duo replied. Dorothy sighed, knowing she'd get the goods later.

*A few days later at work*

Relena and Hilde were discussing their trip to the convent when Dorothy came up and handed Relena some papers.

"You need to look over these." Dorothy told Relena. After Dorothy left, Hilde turned to Relena.

"I recognize that green shirt and blue skirt from somewhere." Hilde said, racking her mind.

"It couldn't be!" Relena nearly cried.

"Let's hope not." was all Hilde could get out.

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Ha ha that was fun! Mission: fic challenge COMPLETE. *Walks off as Gundam pilots 01 and 02 sneak up from behind and pin her to the ground* HELP!! Feedback wanted!