Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it's affiliates belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc and not me. Characters are used here for entertainment and no profit is made by their use.
A/N :- I'm not sure if I want this to be a one shot or carry on with the idea's that I have had for this story.I'll see what reviews it gets and decide after that . I hope that you enjoy this .
Set immediately after Buffy's leap from the tower.
"Let me see my world" Buffy asked of the being in front of her.
The being glowed brightly and Buffy had to narrow her eyes to look at her. "Sure, but remember that the events you witness can be heartbreaking, are you absolutely sure you wish to see them?"
"I'm sure, just show me "Buffy said firmly
"Very well" the being closed her eyes and then touched Buffy's forehead.
Buffy watched as her body laid broken on the rubble at the foot of the tower. Giles looked at her form , shocked. Tara and Willow clung to each other , crying.
Dawn stood on the last stair, staring in disbelief. Xander collapsed in the arms of Anya , reduced to tears.
The one that surprised her was the vampire. Now on his knees sobbing without restraint, not caring that dawn was fast approaching. He had proclaimed his love for her, had worked beside her, fought with her against his own kind. And Buffy had rebuked his love for her and even laughed at him for it.
Buffy looked away, the grief that she saw made bile rise in her throat. It made the truth of her death hit her full on.
She had died, this wasn't an illusion.
As sick as it made her feel, she found it hard to turn away for longer than a minute. Soon her eyes fell back to the vision of what she had left behind. As Giles took the young witch and her friends in his arms, Spike watched, he was still very much on the outside. Dawn watched from her place on the stairs as he clumsily limped to her prone side.
Gently he lifted her body up into his arms and held her head against his body. He lowered his head to her shoulder.
Buffy held her breath.
Spike cried into her shoulder, stroking her hair from her face, his tears fell onto her white blouse, staining it with a tinge of red, his blood from his injuries which he had received as he tried to defend Dawn.
Spike whispered to her and repeated his apologies at not being able to do the one thing she had asked.
He was not worthy , she heard him say over and over, that was why she couldn't return his love, he knew that now.
Buffy felt the heaviness of his heart, it tugged at her own.
He tentatively kissed her cheeks and then her eyes, he stared at her for what seemed an eternity, she felt him burn her with the emotion she saw , then he kissed her lips before laying her body back down.
Spike turned and watched the group of friends all comfort each other, saw Dawn be taken into their arms, still ignoring the broken vampire. His body and heart broken and the cold shoulders stabbed at the piece of hope he held that maybe, just maybe, they would welcome him as part of the group and accept him for the man he was trying to be for her.
He looked up at the now rapidly rising sun and walked towards it. A look over his shoulder gave him the answer he knew already, if he was to walk into the sun, nobody would care enough to stop him. His broken body screamed at him to stop, to run for the nearest shade, but Spike continued towards the center of the yard, where the suns rays already hit the concrete.
The heat boiled the blood that filled his veins, his skin itched and stung , his head pounded. The demon within screamed for the girl that had perished, not caring that he would end his existence by walking out of the shadows.
Spike dropped to the hard surface as his broken and defeated body gave out on him. The patch of sunlight just inches in front of him, yet seemed so far away. He laid his head down and wept for the girl, wishing that he had the strength to end his sorry excuse of a life. After all, what life would he have without her? His reason for being had become her, every unneeded breath was for her, every life he saved was because of her, her influence had been suffused within him and made him want to be a man, a good man, someone that mattered. Without her he was nothing more than another vampire to everyone else. How could he go on , to suffer ridicule and contempt at the hands of her beloved friends and family?
His hand reached for the daylight and the smell of burning flesh made him close his eyes and wait for the pain. He welcomed the sensation when it finally hit. His face changed, ridges grew and his fangs descended , his demon clawed it's way forward and let out a roar as the sun hit his back. His salvation was moments away.
His thoughts drifted to the moments that he had had with her, flashing through his mind at a ever quickening pace. He smiled , his mind settling on the moment she had told him that she trusted him to do what needed to be done and that she trusted him to protect Dawn.
Only he had failed her, not kept his promise , not stopped the threat to Dawns life, had in effect caused the Slayers death.
His hand turned to ash and his arm soon followed it, the suns effect crept across his body. As his body burned and charred, his lips stiff against the pain, he called to her, his dying words being the name of the woman he had loved completely.
Buffy.