It had taken him two years after Zack had given the order to split up on the fateful night of the escape to find a place where he felt he truly fit. He knew he loved animals, he knew he had to keep moving because thought were his orders and he knew no matter how irrational it was that he wanted to be around people and make them happy. Zack had told them that once they were out the enemy would be all around them, but the people Zane met didn't seem like the enemy that they had been taught to fear. Zack would have frowned upon Zane's decision and maybe even forbid him not to do it, but Zane was above orders now. Well all orders except keeping on the move and honoring the family above all else, those were orders he'd never disobey. He had been wandering through the deserts of Arizona when he saw it, a mirage of reality. Tent poles poking out from the horizon line and a foreign sound to his ears, the sound of collective laughter. He'd been drawn to it with the same feeling in his stomach he had gotten when the Blue Lady answered on of Ben's prayers, or when he caught one of his younger siblings smiling. Zane looked very different from the soldier he had once been. In the short amount of time he had been free he'd learned to replace the Manticore mask or indifference for one of quiet amusement or feigned interest. He had never cut his hair since the day he'd climbed the fence with Krit at his side, now it hung shoulder length, shaggy and dirty blonde.
He wandered the fair ground for a long time dazzled by the sensory information he was receiving. The screams of simulated fear, the smell of adrenaline mixed with the sweetness of the confections, the bright twinkling multi colored lights and children's laughter. It was great; it embodied everything he felt freedom should have been. He wandered around for so long he hadn't even noticed the fairway growing desolate and dark. He felt oddly safe and calm here and didn't notice the venerability he had put himself in. He hadn't even seen a single sector policeman since he'd arrived.
"Shouldn't you be heading home son?" One of the carnival people approached him from the shadows. He leaned against a pole smoking a cigarette and gave a slight hacking couch.
Zane jumped and dropped into a defensive stance only making him look completely startled. He reprimanded himself for not being more careful no one besides Max or Zack could even sneak up on him. He had let his guard down and was ashamed by it.
"No." Zane answered with a curt shake of his head slowly backing up.
"Take it easy kid," The man flicked the end of his cigarette drawing Zane's attention back to the pole behind him.
Zane squinted in order to zero in his vision and read the words printed on the sign.
The man followed his gaze. "Looking for work, kido?" The man smiled and it didn't take Zane's supped-up vision to see he was missing more then a few teeth.
Zane made the split second decision and nodded once the mask of feigned interest playing across his face. "Actually I am, sir."
The man extended a grubby, work calloused hand which just moments before had discarded the cigarette. "The name's Zack, how about yours?"
Zane allowed himself a small smile before he even realized what he'd heard. The man's name being Zack had to be a good sign. He stared down at the man's hand. "Zane."
This Zack dropped his hand and then ran it casually through his hair. "You're a little young. . . but I'll take you in to see Max. He runs this whole company."
Another sibling's name, this was almost too good to be true. "I'd appreciate that." Zane nodded again and fell into step with the older man.
The owner Max had hired Zane on the spot. The more the merrier, he had said gladly taking Zane on board. He went on to explain that they didn't pay much but it would give Zane freedom as well as a home and there was always a chance that he could get paid more by doing more in the future. Zane shared a trailer with Zack who kind of took him in both as an apprentice as well as looking out for him. They started him off as a barker at the rifle booth that Zack owned and operated. It was the kind of game where you had to shoot the little red star out of the center of the card. Zack leaned on the padded counter top and shot out the star.
"Let's see what you can do." Zack said handing Zane the rifle. It was early in the day, well before the time when the marks would show up and Zack had just finished showing Zane how to set up the booth. Now he was testing Zane.
Zane crouched down with the riffle level on the padded counter as Zack had done. He leveled his shoulder with the riffle and got the star into his sights before he raised the gun and pulled the trigger shooting out a perfect circle around the star which made it fall out of the card and flutter to the ground.
Zack clasped him on the back and ruffled his hair. "You're a natural Zane my boy." He motioned to Max and a few other carnies that were standing around near by. "Check this kid out!"
Zack had no idea how right he'd been about Zane. He was a natural; a natural killing machine, being good with weaponry was in his genetics.
Zack set up the booth again and handed the rifle, "Do it again if you can."
Of course he could do it again, at least the years of target practice hadn't been a complete waste of his time. Zane grinned lightly and lined the star up in his sights repeating the exercise again. The crowd cheered and Zane's ability became Zack's new hook for the game. 'It was so easy even a kid could do it', then Zane would show off his skills.
One of the carnies seemed really impressed. He was a boy about Zane's age, twelve or so, wearing tights and a leotard. He stepped up behind Zane. "Hey, how'd you do that?"
"My dad taught me before the pulse and before he and my mother were killed. He was in the military." Zane spurted the story off of the top of his head. It sounded like a good cover story, but he had never been good with covert-ops. Ben and Tinga always came up with cover up stories.
"Ouch," The boy made a face, obviously Zane's story had worked. "I'm sorry. My name's Chris, what's yours?"
"Zane."
Chris's eyes were shining and the stench of excitement poured off of him. "Could you teach me Zane? Zack says I'm a lost cause, but I think your better then him anyway."
Zack made a face but secretly the old man agreed with Chris. "Let's see if you have any better luck, I can't teach him. Give it your best shot, you teach him."
Zane winched it almost sounded like an order, almost. The wiry boy might have quick reflexes but he was not soldier material. Zane was afraid he might fall back on too much of his Manticore training if he tried to teach the other boy.
"I could try. . ." Zane answered stiffly, he wasn't too sure about this.
Zack set up the game again and handed the rifle to Chris. "Thanks." He smiled at Zane.
But Zane was gone, 339472411217 immediately took his place. "Show me what you can do!" He snapped.
Chris winched and took aim. The card looked like Swiss cheese by the time he had unloaded the round of ammunition that was in the rifle.
Zane groaned and snapped to attention then he moved behind Chris and had that authoritative tone in his voice. "Hold it like this." Zane looked down the barrel of the gun getting the star into his sights. "Looks at how I lined it up remember that. Stay stiff; don't let the recoil carry you away. Focus, stand at attention. Now fire, soldier!"
Chris jumped startled be the command. Zane growled he'd messed up the entire shot. Zane set it all up again. "Fell that that's right. Now fire!"
This time Chris did exactly what he was told. The gathered group had grown silent at Zane's outburst. This time Chris shot out the star perfectly. He turned around smiling as the group of carnies cheered. Instead of being met by a pleased face he was met by a stone hard glare from Zane.
"You're not done yet, soldier. Do it again the same way!" Zane barked behind him.
The crowd jumped and Zack came to the boy's rescue. "Lay off Zane."
"Again soldier." Zane answered.
"Set it up again Zack." Chris pleaded eager to impress his new friend.
Chris did better then he did the first time but still it was nothing like when Zane had set up the shot for him, but he was learning.
"Again." Zane barked. This time he set the booth up himself and handed the loaded rifle to Chris. "Remember what you were taught, soldier. Be one with you weapon. Fire!"
Chris tried again, better but he still didn't get the whole star.
"Set it up again Zane." Chris pleaded he was excited now.
"What?" Zane's head snapped around to look down on Chris, there was fire in his eye.
"Chill out kido." Zack insisted it this time.
Chris smiled and then looked serious; he'd caught on now. Kids were just better like that. Chris thought Zane was just playing a game with him and Chris played right into his hands.
"Set it up again, sir." Chris clumsily snapped to attention.
With a curt nod Zane set up the booth again. Chris took what seemed like an eternity to the trained soldier to set up his shot. This time he did shoot out the entire star.
Zane clasped him on the back. "Good job, soldier."
Chris beamed and had Zane set up the booth again. He wanted to be sure he could really do it on his own and now he could. Zane was proud of him; children always learned the best.
Zane had made his first real friend on the outside that wasn't an animal. Chris was a stranger moments ago, but he was never the enemy. Zack saw the world through a convoluted lens. Zane was proud of himself even though he knew that Zack; his CO would have been horrified at his display. He'd shown too much emotion and came close to compromising himself.
Zane had been traveling with the carnival for a little over a year now. He'd moved on to bigger and better things. His way with animals led him to become a trainer and they even gave him his own show. He trained the dogs to do tricks, they were his own little squadron of soldiers who he could bark commands at without raising anyone's suspicions. Old habits were hard to break. Whenever he happened by Zack's riffle booth they stiff pulled off the old hook. "So simple even this child can do it. So can you, step right up sir." Zane had never been happier. The carnival was really part circus, part sideshow, and part amusement rides. A fair really. Zane always steered clear of the side show people he wasn't afraid of them, really. They seemed like okay people but in the back of his mind Zane new that they were nomies and that he shouldn't associate with them. Every night he stelthed past the tent where they were kept to watch Chris, his two brothers and two sisters do their act.
'The Flying Infantry' was an amazing family acrobatic act. Chris who was Zane's age was the oldest of the group, his two sisters Natalie and Kelly were twin and the youngest, and they were only seven. Watching their precision as the five flew through the air Zane was reminded nightly of what it was to be free. He envied them for the close nit family they had the five always reminding him of the X-5's. He was floored by the true discipline they shower in their training. He was amazed that when they were done with their training or a show that they were doing they simply returned to being kids; goofing around and playing pranks completely undisciplined. This actually disappointed Zane the first time he had witnessed the breakdown after one of their practices. It was unbecoming of a soldier and Chris as their CO should have known that. Chris explained it to Zane one night 'The Flying Infantry' trained hard, but they weren't soldiers they were performers. True they were performers but they were always kids and family before that.
Zane just didn't understand it and didn't think he ever would. One night Zane stood watching their act when it happened. The SIC, no the second eldest Zane reminded himself, fell and was hurt. It wasn't for lack of training, but a moment of weakness that had caused the accident. Chris was supposed to catch Sam in the finale like always, after Sam had executed a quintuplet summersault. It always went off without a hitch and was a big crowd pleaser, except for this night. One of the elephants got loose from it's trainer and then suddenly all ten elephants were looses in the center ring below the acrobats. Chris was watching the elephants and being startled his timing was thrown off and he missed grabbing his brother Sam's hand. Sam fell which would have been fine, he should have landed in the net, but he didn't. There was no net for him to land on.
One of the raging elephants in its stampede of rage had knocked down two of the support poles for the net. Sam went hurtling and crashed into the packed hard dirt floor. Bones cracked. Everything stopped. The spectators gasped. Sam's parent's rushed out from the wings. Sam was trampled by one of the elephants. It broke both his legs. There was the snap only Zane could hear. The fall had shattered his shoulder. Utter chaos. The crowd was ushered out of the tent. Zane rushed to Sam's side catching the foot of another elephant before the boy could be trampled again. Zane then picked up Sam who hung limp like a doll from his arms and brought him into the wings where he'd be safe from the animals, the enemy. In his head Lydecker yelled, "Never go back for a fallen soldier, it could get you killed." Zane wasn't worried about breaking orders, only now more people were yelling.
"Don't you know you should never move an injured person?"
"You could have broken his neck!"
"You could have gotten trampled yourself!"
"What's wrong with you?"
Zane barked back his reply even though he didn't even know whom he was answering. "I was getting him out of the line of fire and into safe territory so that he couldn't get hurt anymore, sir."
"What are you stupid? Risking yourself like that." That was Max the owner, he was yelling too.
The X-5's, no, 'The Flying Infantry' were all crying gathered around Sam. Too much yelling. Too much chaos. The crying. Zane's senses were going to overload. Then somebody hit him!
Everything stopped only this time it was only through Zane's point of view. Chris and Sam's father had hit him. Zane dropped into a defensive stance, but the man had already talking to the doctors about his son. Zane was enraged; it was the first time anyone had hit him in more then a year. Zane had never responded well to being hit. Images and words flashed through his head. Many he hadn't even known had been planted there. Duty. Honor. Discipline. Traitor. Deserter. Enemy. Idiot. Failure. Fake. Danger. He turned and struck out at the nearest thing that didn't move. Up until now Zane had behaved like he was on a covert mission, nothing of Manticore had shown except for the day he had taught Chris to shoot. He'd even kept his barcode and seizures well hidden. No more.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Zane punched out one of the remaining support poles bringing it down, actually snapping it in half. He moved on to the wall that separated the spectator's seats from the three rings. Fists flying he made hole after hole until his knuckles bled, but he couldn't stop. He needed to spar. He needed to hit things. No civilian had the right to hit him. The cold hard eyes of that man had reminded him so much of Lydecker's. God he hated that man. He was always yelling and hitting. A hand was on his shoulder. Zane spun and flipped the person, but Chris landed on his feat with a faint smile on his face.
"Thank you for saving Sam."
Zane blinked, his cheeks were wet. It had to be sweat from the exertion, soldiers didn't cry. Zane was crying. He wasn't a soldier anymore, he was a performer and performers could cry.
"The medics said he's going to be okay once his bones heal. Only we can't do the act for a long time. What were you doing?" Chris took one of Zane's bleeding hands into his own.
"Punishment exercises."
"What?"
Zane shook his head. "I had a rough childhood; dad raised me like that." A rough childhood? That was the understatement of the year, he'd barely had a childhood at all.
"It wasn't your fault Zane, it was mine and I'm sorry dad hit you. He was just all worked up, he sent me over just now to apologize."
Zane was still crying and forced himself to composure with a sniffle. "That's okay. I had a flash back; I tend to get out of control the. I didn't mean to go so nuts." He took deep even breaths to calm himself. "When That happens I just get really mad."
"Your dad used to hit you?" Chris met his gaze with eyes so wide that for a second he was reminded of Jondy.
Zane simply nodded.
"Oh." Chris had a good family. He was always around his siblings and his parents were contortionists for the show. He really didn't know what else to say. He reached out and hugged Zane instead. "I feel horrible. I just wish we could still do the show."
"I could fill in." What? Zane had heard himself say it but he didn't know why. Then it became clear performing was all his friend knew just like being a soldier was all Zane and his siblings had know. He wanted to help him stay in practice, stay in familiar territory. Oh yeah, good job soldier, if teaching Chris how to shoot and the little stunt you just pulled didn't give you away then your speed and agility just might. Go ahead and show off, it just might send you home to daddy Lydecker. Friendship or freedom? Could he keep the first without jeopardizing the other?
"Thanks for the offer Zane but this takes years of training." Chris was smiling despite the situation.
"I can do it just give me a chance to prove it." Zane had years of training in things that made him the perfect soldier, a human killing machine, he was sure he could pull of this little stunt to help his friend.
"Fine as soon as we reach the next state you can try. . . we're moving out tonight." Chris answered.
Always on the move no matter what set back presented itself, no matter what broke down, Zane liked their dedication. He thought Zack would be proud of the solution he found. He helped the other Zack, his father of sorts, pack up his booth and went to wait for him in the trailer. For the first time in a long while Zane had to admit the night had left him exhausted. He swore when he started to feel the familiar tingle at the base of his skull and saw his hands begin to shake. He tried to make it to the refrigerator for a glass of milk; the only thing that seemed to help calm the seizures and ended up in a twitching ball curled up on the dirty floor. Chris Kelly and Natalie came busting into the trailer at that point. Chris panicked and Kelly and Natalie began to cry. Chris called for Zack who came running into the trailer. Zack came running and swore the moment he saw Zane on the floor.
"Chris get me a glass of milk." The first time Zane had taken a seizure he had explained to Zack that he had a form of epilepsy that only milk had Chris help him gat Zane into the bed. With Zack's help Zane finished the entire container of milk and then fell into a restless sleep.
Zane woke up hours later, it was really dark outside and the trailer was moving. He was confused. Seeing the young boy and younger girls at the foot of his bed he called out to the siblings he thought they were.
"Zack, Max, Jondy." Zane smiled.
Chris spoke up because the girls were still crying. He thought Zane was looking for Zack Max and Jody, the owner's wife. "Max and Jody are in the lead trailer and Zack is driving yours. Do you want me to go and get him?"
Zane yawned and shook his head no. "Don't bother him."
"Are you okay?" Chris asked.
"Yeah I'm fine. Old Zane's tough, this happens every once in a while. I get the shakes cause I have epilepsy." Zane explained. "I'm sorry if I scared you girls."
The girls shook their heads in sync, no. They looked so miserable. Zane felt bad for them, how would he feel if he'd almost seen his sibling killed. To see him with two broken legs and a broken arm must have hurt them terribly. How else should they feel? With a jolt Zane's eyes darkened and he knew perfectly well how they felt. He'd witnessed it first hand, not only with their brother but his own. Lydecker and company had taken Krit away during the night and kept him in the infirmary for a whole day before bringing him back to the barracks. They'd done it to Max and a few other's before all in the name of osteo-regeneration. Krit had two broken legs and two broken arms as well as god knows what else broken that he couldn't tell on first glance. They wanted to see how fast the X-5 body could heal and this time Zane thought they had gone too far. Krit was in the worst shape any of them had ever been. Zane had been outraged then and simply felt bad for the little girls now.
Zane stood up a little wobbly and pointed to a bowl of fruit on the near by table. "Kelly bring that bowl over to Natalie."
"You hungry Zane?" Chris asked him.
"Nope." Zane was a good liar, in reality he was starving but the welfare of his sudo-siblings came first.
One by one Zane asked the girls on alternating turns to throw him things. An apple, a banana, an orange, a cantaloupe, a pear, a pineapple and a few lone grapes. Slowly incorporating each new piece of fruit Zane began to juggle.
Kelly and Natalie watched wide-eyed reminding him so much of Jondy at that moment. He'd juggled for her once goofing around in the barracks with a bunch of the X-5's socks. They shattered the memory by laughing and clapping and telling her how good he was, gone was Jondy.
"How'd you learn to do that?" Chris asked. Zane was good.
"My mother was a performer." Zane lied easily still keeping all the fruit in the air. It was easy to lie to them, the carnie code dictated that no one ever pushed questions about another's past before the joined up, anything after was fair game. Carnies seemed to love to gossip. In actuality it was something he had picked up at Manticore, it had been an exercise in had eye coordination when they were young. Quite an easy trick. He had refined the skill by watching the jugglers here for the past year. A little practice while everyone was asleep and Zane looked like he'd known how to do it for years.
"You're good." Kelly giggled.
"Almost better then Brady." Natalie chimed in finishing her sister's thought.
Brady was the company's main juggler besides the clowns who knew the bear minimal. "Don't tell him that." Zane stuck his tongue out at them. "He might think I'm after his job."
"We won't." Two voices, one answer. They started tossing Zane other things to see what he could keep in the air.
Kelly Natalie and Chris spent the night with Zane in his trailer. Zane slept full the entire night for the first time in a long time. Usually he slept only six hours or less. In the morning Chris woke him up. They were already at the new campsite and Chris said it was time for them to start Zane's training.
Zane told Chris that he'd meet the four in the tent soon. If he was going to be training he needed to warm up his muscles. He was going to go for a run around the perimeter fence. Zane ran. True he ran slower then he normally would have, purposefully, but he spent almost half an hour circling the perimeter of the fair grounds. Zane showed up at the tent half an hour after Chris had headed over there. The twins were practicing and Chris and Charlie were coaching them.
"Zane." Chris smiled and trotted over to him. "You need to get into Sam's costume and pull back your hair before we start.
Zane blanched, joy a camouflage leotard, but he'd known it was coming. It was the fact that the scars as well as his barcode would be visible in that outfit. Chris didn't see the uncomforatble look register in Zane's eyes or else he would not have gone with him to change. Zane's arms were littered with small scars Chris dared not ask about. The barcode was another story, it was too interesting to pass up.
"What's that?" Chris ran his finger over the barcode.
Zane flinched away from his touch. "A tattoo."
"Of what?" Chris asked innocently.
"Ownership." Lie time again and Zane was growing very good at it. Zane growled at the memory. " My father thought that I was his property. I woke up strapped down to a table one night while he was working on it when I was little." Zane's voice was hallow and the Manticore mask was back on his face.
"Christ." Chris was pale now.
"I would have rune away if he wasn't killed." Zane shook his head. "Let's go warm up."
Chris nodded snapping out of his daze. "Right lets go see what you can do."
Chris led him out of the dressing room and into the center ring. Zane sat patiently as Chris explained the act to him. Zane had seen it a hundred times before and his photographic memory told him all he needed to know. But he nodded and
uh-huh'ed politely as Chris explained it. Then he finally told Zane to climb the latter and get on to the trapezes. The twins were cleared off of the swings and Charlie spotted Zane.
Zane felt free, like when the did extraction exercises or flying drills back at Manticore. Zane hung from the bar and got his momentum going then flipped through the air effortlessly catching the second bar and the landing on the platform. From his display Chris was impressed and convinced he really didn't need any training. The worked on Zane's timing and execution of the act until it was perfect.
Chris brought his parent's, Sam, Max, Jody, and Zack in to watch Zane. It had only taken three trials for Zane to get it down beat by beat. Very impressed by the young man's skills Max let 'The Flying Infantry' perform in that night's show. Zane helped Zack out with his booth, ran his dog show, and took Sam's place in the act for three months until Sam was able to come back.
The carnival people were his new squadron. No one ever asked questions besides Chris who Zane trusted. They moved every two weeks. Zane was safe and happy in his new life. He knew it was only a matter of time before one of the other X-5's, most likely Zack, caught the show. Simply happened in on the fair. Zane wasn't sure what would happen then. Zack would not be happy that Zane was in the public eye, but Zane took precautions. When he worked with 'The Flying Infantry' he covered his barcode with makeup. For now Zane was just another runaway kid enjoying the freedom of the carnival life.