"Can I see now?" Asked Castiel.
"No, Cass. For the fifth time, not yet." Sighted Sam with a small smile painting his lips, getting a tired sigh of Castiel's own.
"You said this would please me. So far I have just felt my back stiffing and aching." He complained, shifting in his sit over the working table of the bunker. He could feel the hunters cold fingers holding his shoulder and the wet tracks that where being left in his back. "It feels strange… How can you handle this much feeling? I mean… I can feel every single thing; from the touché of the wind to the roughness of a pebble."
"Well Cass… being human will do you that." He answers with a small chuckle, tracing with his right hand patterns on the back of his friend.
"Listen Samuel…" He paused looking for the right words "I know you're trying to cheer me up… and I know that you do it with the best intentions, and I really appreciate it, but-"
"Then shut up Cass, will you?" He says not unkindly, secretly nervous of the reaction his actions would provoke, but hoping none the less that what he was doing was the right thing to do. He'd been sitting with Castiel all day long in the wooden table of the bunker, just reading and researching while the former angel wondered his eyes around the room, searching for something to look at. And Sam had seen, from time to time as he turned another page, the longing, sad look his friend had; he knew it well for it lived deep within his and his brothers eyes.
"Cass…" He had said tentatively "What's wrong?" He didn't even bother to as if something was wrong, he knew it, he felt it. And as the blue stars crossed his own eyes, al was forgotten but the man sitting on the other side. No research or book was more important than his friend.
"I… I think I feel empty." He answered with resignation, not bothering to hide a thing, for that was not in his nature.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked carefully.
"What I mean is… now more than ever, now that my grace is gone… I can feel the emptiness of it all. Like I've lost one of my lungs."
"I guess… that's because your grace is kind of like… a part of your soul. Isn't it?"
"I suppose." Castiel simply replied, both men sharing a sad silence in the library. "Most of all…" He started again "I can feel the loss of my wings… I don't even know if they are there any more." He said looking down at his rough hands. "I miss them Sam. Their light weight, the softness of the feathers." And the Sam had never heard a sound more broken than the sight that had parted the lips of the other.
"Oh Cass…" Sam said. And suddenly he could see the light, he had an idea. "Take your shirt of Cass." He almost ordered as he stood up just a step of loosing balance of his weak legs.
Between worrying for Sam's health and wondering if that had been one of the farces Dean said if he ever heard he would as hell get laid, Sam had already crossed the space between them and was standing right next to him.
"I don't think I am into men's Samuel. My apologies." He said because Sam was he's friend and he would never want to hurt him, he knew this kind of things could be difficult but he would try to reject him as smooth as possible.
"Not like that you pervert," He said laughing with just a hint of annoyance "Dean must be rubbing on you. Come on, take your shirt off."
"But-"
"Shut it and do as I say, trust me." He said with a bright smile, still small for he felt like he could sleep all year long. "I'm going to cheer you up."
Castiel obliged, sitting on the table as Sam gestured him to do. "I do trust you Sam. But I don't know what you're trying to achieve here."
"Just shut up and wait Cass, all right?" He said, taking a thick, permanent marker from the table and opening it.
"All right Sam. I'll do as you ask."
It had been at least ten minutes since the hazel-green eyed man had started tracing things in the back of the fallen angel, the now human was starting to feel the uncomfortable position of his stiff muscles.
"Are you finished?" Asked Castiel impatiently, god how he wanted to roll his shoulders.
"Well Cass, for the seventh time since you asked that question…" He titled his head as if doing so would show him the lines he imagined in Castiel's back, lines only he saw and had once gazed upon in the presence of Lucifer. "I'm actually finished." He ended with a pleased smile and one last line at the lower back.
Cass jumped off the table and finally stretched; it had been forbidden to him since approximately twelve minutes ago.
"How am I supposed to see what you did Sam?" He asked clueless.
"In a mirror, obviously." He laughed lightly "Come one." He pushed Castiel softly in direction to one of their rooms, eager to see the reaction of the angel but worried he might've done the wrong thing. The large man stumbled in a sudden loss of straight.
"Maybe you should sit Sam." The other said as he quirkily turned to catch the falling hunter "You shouldn't tire yourself like this."
"I'm fine Cas, really." Sam insisted weakly. "Please just… let's go to the bathroom, I'll rest after that all right?"
The angle eyed him doubtingly but nodded none the less "As you wish Samuel."
"So…" Sam gulped as Castiel stood in front of the mirror of his room and turned to look at his back. "What… what do you think?" He asked shyly. "I thought I put them there… so you won't forget that they'll never be truly gone, even if you can't see them or feel them…"
There was a silence so long that the boy resigned to look at the floor uncertainly. "Do you like them Cass?" He asked.
But Sam had misinterpreted the silence for a bad reaction from what it really was.
Castiel's eyes where as wide as they could be. With his head turned like an owl, struggling to look over his shoulder and into the mirror. And he followed the lines, all those lines in his back that so perfectly but simply engraved in his skin feathers; in his shoulders, in his middle. And the form they made, made him feel like crying, it was strange for he had cried only since he was human and just from pain. The wings in his back where nothing like the ones he used to have… or had; no, this wings didn't held an inch of beauty or magnificence in comparison to his own, but somehow Cass saw them with equal value.
"I'm sorry if you don't like it. Sorry, it was stupid." The angel snapped out of his trance and quickly looked at the fleeing man.
"I loved them." He said in his ever neutral voice, but just with the right amount of softness. "I love them Sam. They're beautiful."
The boy took a tentative look at his friend and sighted silently in relief at his, for he saw he meant it with every ounce his angelical nature let him show.
"They probably won't last much but… I thought you might like them." He said with a smile.
"I love them. They are beautiful." He gazed once ore at both wings, which covered almost all his back. He would always keep them, even if they faded with time. For him, they would forever be engraved on his back, his family had made them, and somehow that made them more precious than the ones he had had from creation.
They truly were beautiful.
Abril: So, yeah. I hope that wasn't crappy, I haven't written in ages. So, first Supernatural fanfiction, hope you've enjoyed it. I just desperately needed some fluff between Castiel and Sam, they deserve it. I think it could be a great friendship and I hope I can se more of it in future episode. They're getting there, slowly but surely.
So sorry for my grammar and spelling mistakes, my mother language is not English, so… Feel free to correct anything you may see.