Congratulations on your new found relationship with Jervis Tetch, aka the Mad Hatter! Here is a list that has been politely put together to help you survive-and enjoy-your time together!
~O~
Be born with naturally blonde hair and blue eyes, Jervis likes his ladies to look like his favorite Wonderland character.
Always say yes when Jervis offers you tea, refusing may lead to having a teapot shoved down your throat.
Be prepared to eat only tea and cakes for a very long time.
Be sure to have read both Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, and be prepared to spend hours quoting passages from these beloved stories.
Always wear shades of blue and keep your hair down. If you have a ribbon, wear that too.
Do NOT dress as the Jabberwocky for Halloween. Jervis will have a panic attack.
Never deny Wonderlands existence, Jervis will make you his eternal slave. And not in the good way.
Never show interest in another male, Jervis will overreact. And by overreact we mean take over the minds of everyone he knows dress them up as characters from Wonderland and remove the heads from anyone who attempts to stop him.
Jervis's hat is dry cleaning only. In fact don't even touch it.
Should Jervis approach you under the notion "Your hair wants cuttin;" RUN. Don't walk.