Brain Chunks: Frankie's Story
From Unusual to Absolute
Youssef Arif
Act One: Unusual Frankie
Scene 1: Let's Start the Show
Enter Narrator; the curtains are closed behind him/her. As he/she takes the stage left or right (it does not matter as long as the audience can clearly see him/her and hear him/her.
Narrator: Now this show is Thirty years long, and takes place at various points in time. So you're going to be here for quite awhile. The doors are closed and there is no way out. I am also sorry to say that most of the lavatories are malfunctioning, and the functioning ones are occupied for the entire play. Therefore we expect you to hold it in for the next thirty years; otherwise you would feel really embarrassed and the cleaners will have to work extra to clean the carpets. I also request that for the duration of this play; all mobile phones must be turned on, with the exception of blackberries. I don't want to give this audience the strenuous task of watching the show and BBM at the same time. In addition the blackberry is a terrible phone sent to us by the devil also known as Satan, in order distract us from the truth. I do not know what this truth is or why the devil is hiding it from us, but one thing is for sure. Either the devil exists or Soy Vanilla ice cream is delicious. I request that all children in this audience under the age of twelve to make sure that their parents and older siblings would remain quiet for the duration of the play. No one wants to hear adults talk, its long, boring, useless and overrated. Thank you and enjoy the show!
Curtains Open revealing Absolute Frankie center stage standing on a speaking podium. He or She is wearing a business suit. Frankie looks into the audience and smiles. Absolute Frankie's hair is a mess; the mess has to be projected in a way which is reflective of hi/hers extreme personality. A chair and a microphone with a stand front center stage.
Frankie: Friends….Homies…. Peeps! I am very pleased to present to you Frankie's Show. My name is Absolute Frankie; I am the pinnacle of what Frankie is or will ever be. I speak four hundred and sixty seven thousand languages, and over a million dialects. These include: mermish, parseltongue, Elfish, French and the seventeen Goblin languages. I am able to exceed the speed of light, and answer all questions in existence. I counted to infinity and taught a cripple to tap-dance. My IQ is beyond measurement, and my technique is beyond comprehension. I am the ultimate showman of the ultimate show. Now allow me to share the absolutely greatest monologue ever written.
Frankie gets off the platform and stands front centre stage facing the audience but looking at anything but the audience.1
Blackberries and , Theatrics in metros. Are as irrelevant as the tactics of maestros. I have a lyrical journey that I would like to share with a nation of overrated children and unenlightened halfwits.
(Pulls out a paper and reads)
"The seven words and the seven sins. The seventh day, of the seventh week. What a Friday to behold; because we were told, the baldest shall act so cold. Friday the Thirteenth or the Sunday of grace, real life is useless but the movie was great. (Stops his/her foot on the ground)
I love this! I love to see the chaos of life.
(Stops his/her foot on the ground)
I hate the norm, so none tonight.
(Stops his/her foot on the ground)
The snakes will growl and the worms will bite.
(Stops his/her foot on the ground)
Like a mouse that flies a kite.
(Pause)
I was born an unusual creature. In fact my birth name was Unusual Frankie. I know….I know …..My parents were not creative enough to name me something cool, like Jane or Robert. As you can see I am no longer "unusual" (Makes air quotes with his fingers) but I am Absolute. I am Absolute Frankie because I am Absolute in every way. My absolute value is always positive and never negative. If I was a king I would be an absolute monarch, If I was a temperature I would be absolute zero , and If I had absolute power I would be corrupted absolutely. However I am not absolutely sure how I changed from Unusual to Absolute. I think I was a freak, a monster and something else before I became absolutely sure of I am. Never mind my preposterous and premature pondering.
I would like to applaud this audience for its performance.
Frankie sits on the chair and claps his hands then stands up giving a standing ovation, applauding the performance of the audience. At the same time the curtains close.
.
Scene 2: The Japanese Classroom and Never-land.
Enter Narrator, The curtains are closed and he/she stands on a speaking podium.
Narrator: This scene will take place in a Japanese classroom. Frankie is now eighteen years old, and is currently learning Japanese from scratch. Frankie took Japanese because of his parents; they believed that Frankie would be a hard worker and a genius in training if he/she knew the Japanese language and customs. Frankie was known as Unusual Frankie because Frankie was so unusual. Due to the language barrier between the actors and the audience. All actors had their voices dubbed before the show. I know what you're thinking. "How did we get a whole classroom of Japanese speakers?" The truth is, and In all honesty all Dubbed actors woke up yesterday with Foreign Language Syndrome. I know what you're thinking. "I heard of Foreign Accent Syndrome but I never ever head of Foreign Language Syndrome". Well that's because it was recently discovered by our writer, who is an expert at not being an expert. Now enjoy the show.
In this scene all lines with the words (Japanese accent) have to have a Japanese accent and all lines without them have to be in a distinct western accent.
A classroom which contains: a board, thirteen student-desks and a large teacher's desk. There are no chairs in the classroom; however there is a comfortable couch behind the teacher's desk. The students' desks all except one have to create a symmetrically square shape centre stage with the thirteenth desk on the far end isolated from the rest of the class. Enter the students (one of which is Frankie); they all enter in a single file wearing a traditional British school Uniform. The students stand in front of their desks while Frankie sits on the isolated desk. Enter the teacher Mr. Junsaku Jackson. He is dressed like a typical teacher. Immediately when the students see their teacher they sit on their desks while Frankie stands.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent): Good Morning class.
Students (Japanese accent): Good Morning Mr. Junsaku Jackson.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson: You now may take off your bags and stand in front of your desks.
(All students Stand in front of their desks while Frankie sits on his/her desk)
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent): Now I am going to take attendance.
(Jaap Jeep hand is raised)
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent): Yes?
Jaap Jeep: I don't understand what you said.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson:I said I am going to take attendance.
Jaap Jeep: Ok sorry
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent):(The words "Here" after each name are said by each student, except Frankie who says "present")
James Jonson
Jack Jameson
Justine Jackman
Jerry Jacob
Jaclyn Janneti
Jermaine Jagger
Jaasiel Jamaica
Ja'ffar Jackie
Jaap Jeep
Janet Jackson
Jaazaniah Jadrien
Jake-Jack in a box
And Finally Ja'ffar Jackie raises his hand, but teacher does not notice so he quickly puts it back down.
Unusual-Frankie
Now go to page negative twenty of your textbooks
The students all open their textbooks to the first page of the last twenty pages.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent): Ok class, repeat after me.
This…..
Students (Japanese accent): This….
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent):Class…
Students (Japanese accent): Class….
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent):Is…
Students (Japanese accent): Is…
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent): Boring….. (Mr. Jackson runs out of the stage and leaves the students bewildered)
Frankie: Boring
Jaap Jeep: What do you mean boring?
Frankie: As in there is no point to this,
Jaap Jeep: of course there is a point, we are clearly learning.
Frankie: Learning what exactly? How to skip like a school girl? or how to envy the owner of the couch?
Jaap Jeep: Your very unusual; Unusual Frankie.
Janet Jackson: Yeah Frankie why are you so weird.
Frankie: Why are you a horrible singer Janet Jackson?
Janet Jackson: That's because people keep comparing me to my brother.
Frankie: You have a brother?
Janet Jackson: Yes, his name is Peter Pan and he lives in Neverland.
Jermaine Jagger: cool, is that anywhere near my house.
Frankie: No you idiot Neverland does not exist.
Janet Jackson: Yes it does.
Frankie: No it doesn't
Janet Jackson: Yes it does and Jermaine Jegger lives near it.
Jermaine Jagger: Really wow. How close is it?
Janet Jackson: Well Jermaine Jagger since you're a nomad who has moved negative sixty times in the last negative four years. The only explanation I have for you always living near Neverland is the fact that you are from Neverland.
Jermaine Jagger: Wow then I must know your brother. Could you tell me how he looks like?
Janet Jackson: I don't remember, it's been a whole day since I last saw him.
Frankie: How can you forget how your brother looks like after only a day?
Janet Jackson: Well not everyone has an unusual memory like you?
Frankie: What is that supposed to mean?
Janet Jackson: Well, it's just unusual to remember things, since they are so useless. I mean what is the point of wasting such precious brain space on the past.
Jermaine Jagger: Yeah Unusual Frankie, why do you remember stuff?
Frankie: What are you guys talking about? You are making no sense whatsoever. If brain space is so precious what do you guys use it for?
Janet Jackson: hmm…..I can't remember the answer to that question.
Jermaine Jagger: ha! In your face Unusual Frankie.
Frankie: What do you mean "ha!"?
Jermaine Jagger: She was able to answer your question.
Frankie: Really, what did she say?
Jermaine Jagger: I can't remember!
Janet Jackson: ha! In your face Frankie.
Frankie: What do you mean "ha!"?
Janet Jackson: He was able to answer your question.
Frankie: We already went though this once!
Janet Jackson: What do you mean?
Frankie: Never mind
Frankie Walks to the teacher's couch sits on it. He puts his legs on his desk.
Jaap Jeep: Why are you sitting on the couch Unusual Frankie?
Frankie: To annoy the teacher.
Jaap Jeep: No what I meant to say was, Why are you sitting on the couch with your feet the desk, instead of sitting on the desk with your feet on the couch? It's no doubt that that would be more comfortable.
Frankie: Because it is much more comfortable this way. Come here and give a try.
Jaap Jeep: Ok
Jaap Jeep goes and sits beside Frankie, almost instantly he shakes left and right showing extreme discomfort.
Jaap Jeep: You must be mental thinking you're more comfortable on this couch. It's like you're sitting on a soft cloud, which hugs your inner being and relaxes your neurons. It feels so uncomfortable I think my back might break.
Jaap Jeep quickly gets up and gets back to his desk and sits down. He exhales showing great comfort.
Frankie: Ahhhhhhh, This is hopeless you guys are absolutely insane! You defy all common sense.
Jaasiel Jamaica: common sense? What's that?
Frankie gets a dictionary out.
Frankie: An individual with common sense is generally accepted by the community as an individual with a good sense and sound judgment of practical situations.
Jaasiel Jamaica: but that does not make any sense?
Frankie: What do you mean?
Jaasiel Jamaica: If someone with common sense has to be generally accepted by the community as an individual with common sense. Then how come the majority of this classroom according to Unusual Frankie lacks common sense, when it is the classroom that decides who has common sense and who does not? I mean, it is generally accepted by most of this classroom that couches are uncomfortable. Therefore qualifying it as common sense, but Unusual Frankie comes in with his unusual ideas, and destroys the very fabric of human logic.
Janet Jackson: Wow Jaasiel Jamaica, how did you become so smart.
Jaasiel Jamaica: huh?
Janet Jackson: huh? What?
Jaasiel Jamaica: did you say something?
Janet Jackson: I can't remember.
Jaasiel Jamaica: Oh ok
Frankie:What do you mean you can't remember! You just said it.
Janet Jackson: Well not everyone has an unusual memory like you?
Unusual Frankie is frustrated.
Frankie: We already went through this once! And I would rather go to hell than face all of this again!.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson returns to the classroom. He enters with a travelling bag but still has the same clothes on he had previously. Immediately when the students /see their teacher they sit on their desks while Unusual Frankie stands.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent): good evening class
Students (Japanese accent): Good evening Mr. Junsaku Jackson.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson: You now may put on your bags and stand in front of your desks.
All students Stand in front of their desks and put on their paper bags while Unusual Frankie sits on his desk and take's his paper bag off. Unusual Frankie takes his paper bag off.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent): Now I am going to take attendance.
(Jaap Jeep hand is raised)
Mr. Junsaku Jackson (Japanese accent): Yes?
Jaap Jeep (Japanese accent): I don't understand what you said.
Mr. Junsaku Jackson:I said I am going to take attendance.
Frankie clearly frustrated at the prospect of going through all of this again. Grunts in frustration and storms off stage. 2
(Curtains close)
Scene 3: Frankie and the talk Show host.
Enter Narrator.
Narrator: I have nothing to say this time….sorry.
Exit
A large desk upstage right, with two seats next to it. A band called "the band" stage left. The band must all be wearing identical items of clothing. Upstage on the left, there is a "man" with a remote, attempting to hide from the audience but clearly failing. The remote must be clearly seen by the audience. A voice begins to speak as a drum roll begins to play.
Voice: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome. Your host, a man with much swagger Jeeerrrrrmainnne Jaaaaagggggerrrrr.
Enter Jermaine Jagger; he is dressed as a typical late night television host with a suit and a tie. Meanwhile the man points the remote at the audience to produce (or give the illusion of producing) a fake applause track.
Jermaine Jagger: Thank you, Thank you. Hey Hey, what's up dudes? , I would like to welcome you to the first episode of late night with Jermaine Jagger.
Points remote for fake applause.
Yeah I finally got my own show! . It's been six seconds and I haven't been cancelled. It's a miracle!.
Points remote for fake laugh.
Did you guys hear about this new disease? It's called Swine flu. Do you know what's the difference between Swine flu and Bird flu?. For Bird flu you need a tweetment for Swine Flu you need and oink-ment.
Points remote for fake laugh.
There has been a bad discipline epidemic in schools around the country? Did you hear about this? Yeah students had their rubber bands confiscated from algebra class because they were weapons of math disruption.
Trips and falls then points remote for fake laugh while on the ground opening a 3 second window for silence.
Ok everyone let's get this party started
Points remote for fake applause.
Over the applause We have a great show for you tonight Unusual Frankie is here. We will be right back after a word from our sponsor.
Exit
A group of dancers enter all wearing black. They enter with one carrying an object concealed by a black cloth. The dancers are doing some generic meaningless type of interpretive dance. The object is placed centre stage as the rest of the dancers dance around it. After a few circulations one removes the cloth to reveal a blender. They do a few more circulations around the blender until one dancer comes downstage, looks into the audience and says with a loud and instructive voice.
Dancer: Buy it! It's the best thing you will ever buy in your life.
The dancers and the blender Exit, while Jermaine Jagger and the man with the remote enter.
Jermaine Jagger: Ok my first guest is the author of the number one bestseller "My unusual life: Through the pains and the laughter", please welcome Mr. Unusual himself Unusual Frankie.
Enter Frankie wearing a suit or any type of formal attire. Jermaine Jagger welcomes Frankie onto the stage, as they both takes their respective seats.
Jermaine Jagger: So Frankie, How are you?
Frankie: I am good.
Jermaine Jagger: I haven't seen you in many years, we were in school together.
Frankie: Yes I even mentioned you in my book, It's about a conversation we had a few years ago in the Japanese classroom.
Jermaine Jagger: I don't remember, but I am sure it was very amusing.
Frankie: How can you not remember? It was only a scene ago.
Jermaine Jagger: A scene!? It's only been ten years! , but never mind. Let's talk about your groundbreaking book, "My unusual life". What was your inspiration for writing it?
Frankie: Well the events of my life, is what truly inspired me. I was always seen as unusual or slightly different from everyone else, I just never figured out why.
Jermaine Jagger: Well I'll tell you why. I have read your book and you have some really unusual ideas. You said and I quote "there is a force that attracts a body toward the center of our planet" He chuckles by the end of the quotation.
Points remote and the audience laughs.
Frankie: Yeah It's gravity….I don't see what's so funny.
Jermaine Jagger: Come on !, everyone knows what gravity is, gravity is what makes things fall down, It's not some invisible force (Sarcastic tone), and how about this part of your book "The earth revolves around a large ball of plasma created through nuclear fusion"
Points remote and the audience laughs.
Frankie: The Sun! I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE SUN!.
Jermaine Jagger: You can't be serious, everyone knows what the sun is, it's that shiny thing in the sky that we see every day. Wow man you got your facts all wrong.
Points remote and the audience laughs.
Frankie: Ok whatever.
Jermaine Jagger: I have to admit there is something quite impressive about this piece of work. This book is negative five hundred and twenty three pages long. It must have taken you at least a negative four months to finish it.
Frankie: Yeah it did take me quite a while to finish this thing. In fact…..
Jermaine Jagger: (Interrupts Frankie) Oh poor Unusual Frankie. You seriously think that it's possible for facts to come out of your mouth. You have not said one solid fact to date.
Frankie: Well I don't know what to say…. If the world won't take me seriously as a writer, what would they take me seriously as?
Jermaine Jagger: hmmmm Frankie, well I guess you can't stay unusual forever. It would be freakish if you…..
Frankie interrupts Jermaine and jumps out of the chair.
Frankie: That's it! I finally found my calling, I AM A FREAK. I AM Frankie the Freak, because an unknown freak is an unusual individual, and a known unusual individual is a Freak.
Jermaine Jagger: What?
Frankie: I said I am no longer unusual I am a freak; therefore I am going to join the circus and become king of the Freaks.
Jermaine Jagger: Looks into the audience. Did you guys hear that Frankie is going to join the circus! , I think that deserves a major round of applause.
Silence then Jagger nods at the remote guy and the remote guy points his remote for fake applause as Frankie exits with a large smile on his face.
Thanks to this wonderful imaginary audience of this wonderful imaginary show. I would like "the band" to take it away.
Band Drummer: One….two….three….four
Just as the music begins to play the curtains close.
Act Two: Frankie the Freak
Scene 1: The SUV
Narrator: This scene will take place in an average suburban neighborhood. With identical houses, identical lawns, identical porches, identical mailboxes. Inhabited by identical soccer moms and identical ignorant dads who spoil their identical children all named Jason and Jenifer. All characters in this scene have to be obese, and own an SUVs at all times. Frankie does not know anything about this group of people, because Frankie actually grew up with the only truly responsible parents on this planet. Parents who knew that if they let their child go to satisfy his or her own curiosity, then the child would grow up with a strong understanding of the universe and how it works. I am sorry to say that this scene does not have Frankie in it, because the purpose of this scene is to show you why Frankie's world is the way it is. Hope you enjoy!
Four identical lampposts stage left and right, giving a perfectly symmetric image. Identical Houses stage left and right behind each lamppost also giving a symmetric image. An SUV stage centre. A stop sign upstage left. Enter the two members of the identical Johnson family. The father James and the son Jason. The Johnson family are an identical suburban family of four who always wear the iconic shirt "I am with stupid" whenever they go out.
James: Come on kids. We need to stop by the mall before we drop you kids off at school.
Jason: Ok I am just getting my school bag ready.
James: What!? School bags are too dangerous. Did u know that you could hurt you back if you carry a heavy load? From now on I forbid you to go to school, now leave your bag inside the house.
Jason: Really….cool…..I hated that place since you forced me to go… You're serious about the no school thing right?
James: Yes….at first I forced you to go because I thought it was useful for you to get a job when you grow up, so I won't have to work anymore. However I now realize that your health is the most important thing to me.
Jason: So no more school…..
James: No more school
Jason: YES! I AM FREE WOOHOOOOO
James: Now go make your sister feel jealous about the fact you are not going to school.
Exit Jason
Enter Jenifer and Jason
Jenifer: WHAT?! , Jason does not get to go to school! Why dad? Why would you do that for him when you do nothing for me?
James: Well…..that's because you don't have a backpack
Jenifer: Well father the reason I don't have a backpack is because you don't get me anything!. All you got me last Christmas are 26 pairs of shoes, a golden necklace, an earring designed by Nolan Miller, a dress by Alexander McQueen and a Bulgari necklace given to you by our dead grandmother. You didn't even bother to get me a pony!
Jason: While laughing arrogantly that's all he got you, he got me a bicycle.
Jenifer: A BIKE! YOU GOT HIM A BIKE!
James: That was supposed to be our secret Jason!
Jenifer: YOU OWE ME DAD! YOU OWE MEEEE! I demand to not go to school.
James: Fine
Jenifer: Sticks her tongue out at Jason Ha! I am not going to school either
Enter Joanne
Joanne: We must make sure we stop by the supermarket. We need to buy diet coke and low fat milk after we are done shopping.
Jenifer: Could we stop by Pizza Hut on the way to the mall.
Joanne: We don't have time; you kids have to get to school.
Jason: Mom we don't have to go to school anymore.
Joanne: Why?
James: Because backpacks are dangerous.
Joanne begins to tear and then hugs her children.
Joanne: I am so glad you children are finally saved from those awful backpacks! The kids reluctantly hug their mother back, almost afraid that they might catch some sort of disease. Joanne stops crying Of course we could go to pizza hut, I heard they had low fat fried butter with cheese. That's good for you…..because it's low fat.
Jenifer: Yay! Pizza hut…Pizza hut…..Pizza hut…She keeps chanting
James: Oh I hope I didn't forget the credit card looks into his wallet and bag pack searching for the credit card and chants in frustration Credit Card, Credit Card, Credit Card.
Jenifer:Stops chantingDaddycould you buy me a pony!
James: looks into his wallet and bag pack searching for the credit card and chants in frustration. Credit Card, Credit Card, Credit Card.
Jenifer: I love my daddy. Daddy is getting me a pony with his magic card.
Jason: Could I get a car?
Joanne: Could I get a new Gucci Bag?
The previous three sentences have to simultaneous to emphasize the comedic effect.
James:Still looks into his pockets and backpack searching for his credit card and still chantingCredit Card, Credit Card, Credit Card.
Everyone but James: Yay!
Jason: Yes he is officially getting us all stuff.
James finds his card; pulls it out and points it at the ceiling for dramatic effect. As he does this a heavenly sound erupts.
James: Ok found it. Let's go!
They all get into the SUV and just before they drive off stage they crash into the stop sign, and all characters fall out of the car in desperate need for help and medical attention. A group of firemen closely followed by a group of policemen enter. They ignore the crash, and walk downstage.
Fireman 1: We are the firemen; we make sure you are safe from the dangers of unpredictable disasters.
Policeman 1: We are the policemen; we are here to make sure, your safe from….."certain" criminals.
Emphasis on the "certain"
Fireman 1: We are not ignoring this family.
Policeman 1: We just analyzed their situation.
Fireman 1: Their situation is not unpredictable
Policeman 1: and they are not threatened by…."certain" criminals.
Fireman 1: How is this situation not unpredictable you ask? Well….the family are all wearing shirts which say " I am with stupid", therefore doing something stupid like crashing into a stop sign is very predictable.
Policeman 1: Also the only criminals responsible for this car crash. Are institutions which are responsible for building awful roads, putting up unreadable stop signs, give people a bad education….you know the people who pay our salary. They aren't the…."certain" criminals we usually arrest.
Fireman 1: Be quiet….Don't let our masters find out.
Policeman nods his head
Both Fireman 1 and Policeman 1: Thank you for your understanding, and don't worry if you have a problem which fits into our job description don't be afraid to call. Thank you!
Scene 2: Frankie's Circus
Enter Narrator.
Narrator: Frankie is now one amazing freak. I have to admit, I did not think Frankie would make it this far. He/she is the best ringmaster of the most amazing circus. He/she is going to go places!
Exit
Enter Frankie He/she is dressed as a ringmaster from a typical circus. Followed by a procession of typical circus acts, clowns, acrobatics….etc. Frankie now gets ready to address the crowd. The Johnson family is within the audience eating a large bucket of popcorn.
Frankie: Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the freak show. Your tickets were purchased since birth. A show that's both blessed and cursed. Now put your hands together for our wonderful acts.
Any 5 min circus act with cheesy circus music would work. However the better the act the better, but it must be entertaining enough for the audience to watch and keep watching. After the act is done Frankie takes centre stage.
Frankie: That was Beyond Brilliant! It was Outstanding, Exceptional, Dazzling, Unbelievable, Stunning, Incredible, Astonishing and an incomparably unmatched.
The Circus Performers:All at the same timeincomparably unmatched?
Frankie: Yes! Incomparably unmatched. Now I would like to request the assistance of a brave, courageous, bold and gutsy Hercules from this miraculous audience.
Jenifer: Raises her hand and screams in a childish way while her mouth is full Pick me…Pick me….Pick me.
Frankie: Ah this young, youthful, childish lady. Would be a wonderful assistant.
The Circus Performers:A wonderful assistant?
Frankie: Yes! A wonderful assistant. Now come over and join the Freak Show, you'll feel right at home.
Jenifer jumps from the audience into the stage with a look of excitement. She looks into the audience.
Jenifer: Look! She points at the audience and everyone looks at the direction she is pointing Look! I am on TV! Hi mom! , Hi Dad! I am so happy to be part of the freak show.
Frankie: Ah yes my assistant, you are almost part of the Freak Show.
Jenifer: Almost?
Frankie: Well we have to turn you into a freak first.
Jenifer: Yay!
Frankie: My dear assistant do you know what a Freak is?
Jenifer: I don't know, but I bet it's amazing.
Frankie: This is what a freak is. Turns around and signals the circus, and the circus all point at Jenifer
Everyone including Jenifer's family in the audience: (Chanting)Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak!.
At first the chants don't affect Jenifer but slowly she begins to fall and cry, just when she is about to hit the floor the curtains close.
Scene 3: Inside the Circus.
This scene takes place in a circus tent. Frankie is seated on a chair centre stage, the rest of the circus performers are all round Frankie. The show had just finished and Jenifer is now dressed as a circus performer. The circus performers are all celebrating their show.
Frankie: Jenifer welcome to our family. Everyone this is Jenifer, Jenifer this is everyone.
Everyone: Hello Jenifer.
Jenifer: Hello everyone, I am so happy to be here!
Frankie: Now let's recap today's performance.
Frankie stands up and begins pacing back and forth. He/she suddenly stops and points at one of the performers.
Frankie: You! What's up with your levitation act? Why didn't you levitate?
Performer 1: I….I…we…we…don't have a levitation act.
Frankie: Exactly my point, we don't have a levitation act. That is horrendous and inexcusable, and you!
Points at another Circus performer.
Performer 2: What about me!?
Frankie: What happened to the arena I was promised?
Performer 2: Nothing happened to the arena.
Frankie frustrated, turns around points at the audience.
Frankie: It's a stage, not an arena. Remember this is a circus not some amateur high school play, and you!
Points at another performer.
The next few lines between Frankie and performer 3 must be a rapid back and forth type dialogue. With each phrase getting more and more intense, than the previous.
Performer 3: What!?
Frankie: Why!?
Performer 3: What for?
Frankie: Why not?
Performer 3: Whose?
Frankie: Which?
Performer 3: Who?
Frankie: How?
Performer 3: How far?
Frankie: How much?
Performer 3: How many?
Frankie: How old?
Performer 3: How long?
Frankie: HOW COME?...Every time I ask you a question you answer me with another question. Can't you for just for a moment take responsibility for your actions!?
Performer 3: What do you want from me?
Frankie: I want justice!
Frankie pushes Performer 3 to the ground, performer three falls after a two second delay.
Performer 3: You Monster!
Frankie: I am not a monster, I am a freak.
Performer 2: Yeah it's a monster, isn't it boys.
Performer 4: Yeah
Performer 3 stands up, while the rest of the performers chuckle.
Performer 3: From now on Frankie, you are no longer one of us, you are no longer one of the freaks. You are a monster Frankie you are Frankie the monster.
Frankie: NOOOOO
Performer 3: Yes, Frankie is a monster…..You're a monster! You're a monster! You're a monster! You're a monster!
Everyone except Jenifer and Frankie: You're a monster!, You're a monster!, You're a monster!, You're a monster!, You're a monster!, You're a monster!.
Frankie attempts to storm off stage by pushing people out of the way but fails. Frankie is pushed back centre stage and is breathing heavily.
Frankie: So that's what I am now huh? A monster? ….Well…..That's a new label. Should I accept it or reject it?...I guess I have no power...No choice…No hope…I guess I am a monster.
Performer 1: What?
Frankie: You heard me….I am a monster.
All the circus performers exit in a panic except Jenifer and Frankie.
What are you doing here?
Jenifer: hmmm…..Nothing.
Frankie: Get out of here before I eat you.
Jenifer exits in fear. Leaving Frankie alone.
Frankie: I guess this is the price someone would pay for living an unusual life. The price one would pay for being different. …..Labeled at every event!... Feared at every turn!...Someone would tell you that you're destined for greatness…Only to see that shadows of disappointment eclipse the crops of happiness. Someone would tell you that your worthless and you'll never be successful in life. Only to have the prophesy self fulfilled with the agony of regret.
Now looks directly into the audience.
Things sure have changed since I was Unusual. I remember, when I was a child my mother used to tell me "You sure are unusual, Unusual Frankie, but thank genetics you're not a monster." I was negative 5 at the time and at that moment two questions came to my mind. First…What's genetics? And second…. what's a monster? ….No one in this world knows what genetics is, but I sure now know what I monster is.
Frankie exits and Narrator Enters.
Narrator: Poor Frankie. Identified as a monster. As an "it" instead of a "He" or "She". Feared by all…..seen as a true menace to society. How will it cope? How will it feed itself? All Frankie wanted was acceptance, applause and love. It got none, not from its friends, not from the circus, not even from this audience. The most painful thing in the world, is loneliness. To be alone is to be a forgotten soul. An outcast and a menace to society, this is the birth of Frankie the monster.
Curtains close.
Act Three: The monster and something else.
Scene 1: Trash
An urban neighborhood with trash….sidewalks…..etc. Jenifer and Jason enter. There is an ice cream parlor stage left. The ice-cream parlor has a sign which says "someone is here".
Jenifer: What are we doing here Jason?
Jason: Since I no longer go to school and you quit the circus. I thought it would be fun if we went to the city for ice-cream.
Jenifer: We have ice-cream in our identical suburban town.
Jason: Yes, but city ice cream is better.
Jenifer: How come?
Jason: Cause the air is cleaner.
Jenifer: Rrrrrrrrrriiiiggggght
Jason: Was that sarcasm?
Jenifer: Obviously
Jason: Why? Everyone knows that city air is cleaner.
Jenifer: Yes…..well…..don't you think it's possible that everyone could be wrong.
Jason: NO! OF COURSE NOT! You are not making sense Jenifer…It is very important for you to get that it is impossible for everyone to be wrong.
Jenifer: Whatever Jason….your such an idiot sometimes.
Jason: How can I be an idiot since I dropped out of school.
Jenifer: huh?
Jason: What?
Jenifer: huh?
Jason: Ok
Jenifer: Whatever Jason.
Jason runs to the vacant ice-cream parlor, and screams.
Jason: DO YOU HAVE TWO FLAVORS OF CHOCHOLATE CHIP FLAVORED ICE-CREAM!.
Jenifer: Don't order for me Jason. I am perfectly capable of ordering for myself….besides there is no one there.
Jason: Of course there is someone there?
Jenifer: There is clearly no one there.
Jason: Can't you read. The sign says "someone is here."
Jenifer: The sign is lying
Jason: Signs don't lie everyone knows that!
Jenifer: Well everyone is an idiot!
Jason: Stop acting so weird Jenifer.
Jenifer: I am weird! You are the weird one.
At this moment a random individual enters the stage and walks to the ice-cream parlor.
Person: Hello do you happen to have some soy vanilla ice cream, I would sure love some!
Jenifer: sorry to disappoint you, but there is no one there
Person: Of course there is someone there, the sign clearly indicates that there is someone there!
Jason: Ha! You see! If a stranger says it. Then it must be true.
Everyone freezes in time while Jason walks to the downstage and addresses the audience.
Remember kids it is very important to talk to strangers. A stranger always has vital information.
Jason goes back to the ice-cream parlor.
Jenifer: You guys are very odd.
Person: Well you're very unusual Jenifer.
Jenifer: How did you know my name?
Person: I am a stranger, and strangers know everything.
Jason: Can I ask for your name?
Person: No cause I will no longer be a stranger. I will not let you deprive me of this knowledge!
Person acts shocked and scared, then runs off stage.
Jason: See! You scared the stranger off!
Jenifer: I didn't scare him off.
Jason: Yes you did!
Jenifer: No I didn't!
Jason: Yes you did!
Jenifer: No I didn't!
Jason: Yes you did!
Jenifer: No I didn't!
Jason: Yes you did!
Jenifer: No I didn't!
Jason: Yes you did.
Jenifer: NO I DIDN'T. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I AM GOING HOME!
Jenifer walks left stage stage, and just as she is about to exit she looks at the exit and says.
Oh look a sewer!
She stumbles off stage as she exits making a cartoony falling noise.
Jason: Jenifer! Jenifer! Don't worry! I'll get some help from our wonderful police and fire departments!
Scene two: The sewers.
This scene will take place in a sewer. Jenifer stumbles into the sewer, while making the falling noise.
Jenifer: Where am I? Why am I here? and…What is that awful smell!?
Jenifer walks centre stage.
Hello? Is anyone there? I can't leave! I can't climb back up, the ladder is working!.
Frankie's voice off stage.
Frankie: Who dares to enter the dwelling of the beast!
Jenifer frightened
Jenifer: I' am Jenifer!
Frankie enters
Frankie: Hey Jenifer How are you? How have you been? it's been such a long time.
Jenifer: Get away from me monster.
Frankie: I am no monster! I am a human being.
Jenifer: Exactly! You're a human being! Now get away from me monster!
Frankie: Don't you remember me!
Jenifer: Remember you?
Frankie: Yes.
Jenifer studies Frankie.
Jenifer: Ummmm… O.M.G...you're Frankie!
Frankie does every single imaginative gesture of excitement with this next outburst.
Frankie: Finally! Someone finally remembers something! How long have I waited for this day! The day that someone anyone would remember something…..anything! I am no longer alone, I have a fellow compatriot to experience the monstrosity of an unusual memory. How truly amazing this moment has become.
Jenifer: Wow Frankie! You sure have changed since the last time I saw you!
Frankie: I have been living an awful life everywhere I go people are scared of me. I can barely buy ice-cream!
Jenifer: Poor thing! Is that why your sewer is so close to the ice-cream parlor.
Frankie: What are you talking about? That ice-cream parlor has been vacant for the past 10 years!
Jenifer: Now that's what I told my brother but he never listens
Frankie: Well here is the painful truth!... Everyone is an idiot!
Jenifer freezes in time, while Frankie walks downstage and addresses the crowd.
Except for this audience, we have specifically selected only non idiots to witness this performance.
Frankie walks back next to Jenifer and everyone unfreezes.
Jenifer: Yeah I agree….my brother is an idiot!
Enter Jason with the policeman and the fireman.
Jason: I am back! I brought help. You're saved my sister! You're saved!
Frankie: Wow you guys actually showed up!
Policeman: Yeah…..well we had nothing better to do.
Frankie: Oh ok. How's the family…..good?
Policeman: Yeah very good. My daughter is removing her braces next month.
Frankie: No way!...little Julia is removing her braces.
Policeman: Yeah she is very excited.
Frankie: Wow….
Jason interrupts Frankie.
Jason: Areyou done!?...….now get away from my sister you monster!
Jenifer: No Frankie is not a monster!
Jason: Then what is it?
Jenifer: Well…..Frankie is…..is….
She looks at Frankie.
What are you exactly?
Frankie: I am…I am… I don't know!
Jason: Well that's because you're a monster.
Jenifer: No it's not.
Jason: Yes it is?
Jenifer: No it's not.
Jason: Yes it is?
Jenifer: No it's not.
Jason: Yes it is?
Jenifer: No it's not.
Jason: Yes it is?
Frankie: Enough! I am sick and tired of this! I am who I am!…..I don't care what anyone thinks, or whatever they call me!...
Frankie is now breathing heavily, while walking downstage as he/she falls to his/her knees.
It's over….I am absolutely sure It's over…I am absolute Frankie.
Curtains close.
Scene 3: Let's Start the Show
Curtains Open revealing Absolute Frankie center stage standing on a speaking podium. He or She is wearing a business suit. Frankie looks into the audience and smiles. Absolute Frankie's hair is a mess; the mess has to be projected in a way which is reflective of hi/hers extreme personality. A chair and a microphone with a stand front center stage.
Frankie: Friends….Romans…. Countrymen! I am very pleased to present to you Frankie's Show. My name is Absolute Frankie; I am the pinnacle of what Frankie is or will ever be. I speak four hundred and sixty seven thousand …
Curtains close as the original monologue proceeds like in act one.