Alone
Always quiet, silent and dead there is nothing no matter what he does he is alone and it's maddening, like when the silence is feels like its compressing you echoing around and around your head deafening you. It makes him clutch his head in agony as tears pour down his face he would do anything for a voice to penetrate the bubble around himself but he gets nothing not even a whisper. Even when he is in a crowded room he feels like he is a billion miles away from life.
Lonely forever, and he will probably live that long, until the sun burns and even after that, alone forever and ever with fleeting companions which make the pain even greater as they remind you what love feels like then it's gone in the blink of an eye leaving another hole in his tattered heart. They die or leave they don't understand him no one does and it hurts.
Only shadow and darkness now there is no longer a light at the end of his tunnel, he's just a shadow of his former self that is fading fast, he's hiding behind a mask of words and smiles no one really knows the real him anymore, and the ones that did well they're all dead now.
Now always running trying to get away from his mistakes and memories and find someone or something that will make him forget for a while at least, so the silence won't kill him and the dark won't leave him gasping for breath as he slowly suffocates ALONE.
Envies those with a friend or a companion because he will never have that, he has to leave everyone behind or watch them die and it's slowly destroying him from the inside out.