"Come on Carter. You know you want to," Jack leaned against the doorway waiting, but there was no response from the blonde head that was hovering dangerously close to the large whatever it was she was building.
"There's fried chicken involved," he grinned as she twitched a little. Fried chicken had always been a weakness of hers.
She looked up at him from over the top of the metal contraption that had taken over most of her desk. Her big blue eyes blinked at him wearily as if only just processing that he was standing in her lab. "I better not sir. I'm very close to figuring out the problem in the fusion cells. General Hammond said this was a top priority."
"And how will Daniel react when I have to tell him that you haven't been eating?" Jack crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at her. "I promised to keep an eye on you while he was gone playing with Jonas."
Sam didn't seem to find his stance as intimidating as he had hoped. "I have been eating", she said waving vaguely over to the empty plate he had brought her before leaving the base the night before. "And he's a hypocrite. You know he's getting even less sleep and eating less than I have. He's with Jonas, once those two get together they egg each other on like kids."
"Okay", he conceded. That wouldn't work. "I'll tell Teal'c".
She didn't even look up from the now humming machine. "He's training new recruits."
Strike two. Training (or torturing) new recruits was just about the big guy's favourite thing to do. There would be no pulling him away from that without a very good reason.
Suddenly it hit him. "I'll tell Janet."
Slowly she placed the tool she had been using on the desk, looking up at him with a scowl. "That's low."
"Join me for lunch?" Jack asked again with a smirk.
She stood up, switching off her machine while shooting him the darkest look possible. Deliberately slowly she gathered up her tools, before pulling on her discarded air force jacket.
"Oh lighten up Carter", he grinned, stepping out into the hallway. "Remember. Fried chick-"
The blaring claxon tore its way through the hallway, cutting off the rest of his sentence. Immediately Carter was by his side, suddenly alert.
"Daniel?" Her head tilted in question.
He shrugged. It was too early for their scheduled arrival back, which was later this evening but something could have happened. As though the same thought had occurred to her, she fell in quick step beside him, heading for the gateroom.
Fried chicken would have to wait.
Well, he had to admit that this was not what he expected.
Major Ferretti stood at the bottom of the metal ramp with an unreadable look on his face. Behind him stood the rest of SG-2, their expressions ranging from shocked, to hiding smiles. Captain James Red, their military representative from Langara was the only one who looked his usual self, which was to say he looked like he wanted to beat everyone to death with his fists. His colleague stood by his side staring at his feet and looking very much like he wanted to disappear from this situation.
"What the hell Ferretti?" O'Neill asked before glancing apologetically at General Hammond who hadn't quite summoned up the words to ask that same question.
Without glancing down at the bawling toddler gripping his neck, Ferretti ignored Jack, fixing his eyes on the General instead. "Sir, there was a problem with the mission."
"I'll say Major", General Hammond said in a tone that would have made Jack edge away from him if Carter hadn't been standing next to his other side. "Can you explain to me why you took it upon yourself to ignore base policy and bring unidentified persons to this facility without permission? And where in Gods name are Daniel Jackson and Jonas Quinn?"
"Well Sir", Ferretti finally glanced down at the small child who seemed to be attempting to strangle him. "This is Mr Quinn", then he tilted his head toward the small child standing at his side who seemed to be attempting to sooth the crying toddler. "And that is Doctor Jackson."
Jack's eyes widened and he heard Carter make an audible gasp at his side. This had to be the worst practical joke in the history of all practical jokes. Yet Ferretti's expression was totally serious, a testament to his training given that there was currently a small child kicking at his ribcage and shouting in his ear.
"Are you saying that Daniel Jackson and Jonas Quinn have been turned into toddlers?" General Hammond's face was red and his eyes looked ready to bug out of his skull.
The small boy by Ferretti's side stopped trying to reach the other child for a moment, looking up at them with giant blue eyes from under a untidy mop of dirty blonde hair. He spread his arms out causing the shirt he was wearing to fan out like a tent, the bottom of it covering his feet. "Actually I think I'm probably about four, maybe five."
"Jonas was hit by whatever it was for longer", Ferretti said, not wincing as the boy in his arms continued to squirm. "That might be why he seems a little younger."
Ferretti was holding the kid like a robot which made Jack's more experienced arms itch to grab him, but the mere fact that this tantruming toddler could be Jonas made him stop. He wasn't sure how much therapy it would take to recover from being rocked by your former commanding officer, and Jack didn't want to pay the bill.
"Jonas. Jonas. It's OK", the little blue eyed kid – Daniel reached up to touch the toddler's bare foot. "We're home."
The smaller boy stilled in Ferretti's arms, before he let out a very high pitched whine and landed a solid kick to the man's abdomen. The man blinked at Jack, his expression suddenly long suffering. "It was a long walk back to the gate."
"No Jonas", Daniel tried again, grabbing a flailing foot. "Not Kelowna. Earth. We're on earth."
The toddler mumbled something that sounded vaguely angry before scrubbing his face with the oversized sleeve of the giant olive green t-shirt that covered him. It looked worryingly similar to the t-shirts that Jonas had worn often around the base. Then the feet were kicking again, little hands in tight fists around the man's neck.
Jack knew this stance well. It was the expression of a small child whose tantrum had gone past the point of reason. At this point there wasn't much else to do but wait for him to calm down and his senses to return. He seemed to be heading that way already, at least he had stopped crying.
After one more kick, Ferretti shifted his grip, lifting the boy by gripping him under the arms. He held the toddler out toward Carter like he was holding a sack of flour that might at any point explode. "Here. He's been asking for you."
"Me?" Carter's face was shocked. She hesitated until finally the sight of a dangling two year old seemed to get the best of her. Tentatively she took him, rearranging the t-shirt so that it covered as much of him as possible. Jack wondered whether handing a female coworker a half naked shrunk male former coworker could be considered sexual harassment.
The boy sniffed, rubbing his large green eyes, looking up at her from an even blonder head of hair than Daniel's. If his face hadn't been bright red and splotchy from all the crying it might have been cute. If he didn't have the ever conscious thought that 'oh god this was Jonas' it might still have been cute.
"Jonas?" She asked. Everyone in the gateroom seemed to quiet to listen to the exchange – because this was so freaking weird.
"Sam!" And just like the tears were gone. The kids face lit up as he put his chubby arms around her neck for a hug. "Can I stay with you for a while? Doctor Jackson said I could."
"I think both boys will be staying with us for the time being", the General replied for her. "At least until we run some tests and find out what happened. If of course, that is satisfactory with you Captain Red?"
Captain Red looked like it was anything but satisfactory, but he bowed his head in consent. "You do have the superior medical facilities."
The general nodded toward Doctor Janet Fraiser who had been waiting with her team at the back of the room until it was clear. "They're all yours doctor."
"OK. Lets get them to the medical bay." Janet said, shooing away the curious soldiers to make a path.
"Sam", the doctor waved the other woman to carry her charge out of the gateroom. Then she blinked for a moment, looking down at the little blue eyed boy that was left. "This way Doctor Jackson."
"Great", Daniel said, lifting up the ends of the shirt as he made his way through the cleared path. "Do you think I could get some pants? Because my other ones kind of fell off, and I'd really like some pants."
"We'll see about getting you some pants Doctor Jackson".
This was such a weird day.