A/N Just a short thing I thought of after talking to a close friend of mine, just because you feel alone doesn't mean that you really are. You will always have me forever and always, and no matter what anyone says you will always be beautiful to me. I love you!
Alone in the showers, the hot steamy water burning my skin red, I thought to myself, 'Why did I have to be Millicent Bulstrode, why did I have to be born with the curse?' I don't fit in with other girls, they're pretty and have boys chasing after them, of course not me things couldn't be that good. The water was starting to feel like tiny pebbles beating down on my breast so I turned my back to it, 'Dunderheaded firsties, with their questions. Always with the questions.'
I could no longer bear to breathe in the steam, it was making me light headed so I lifted my head which now felt much heavier than usual, shut off the water and lumbered to my things. They sat haphazardly piled onto a bench, they typically did when my clumsy hands stacked them, 'Just like my da, what's ma always harps, just like your da Millie.' Dressing was always a relief, getting to hide my awkwardly big body away from the eyes around me, they always watch me I hear the snickers. 'That's like da too, hide everything away, da says what don't fit under the rug goes in the closet.' Thoughts actually fill my head quite often, contrary to popular belief, I have thoughts, feeling, hopes, hell I even have dreams and goals. 'Pansy and Daphne and Astoria are lucky to be pretty, wish I could be one of 'em.'
'I hate that mirror, I hate it.' Looking deeply into the reflection as I adjust my school tie I see what those firsties meant, square jaw, wide shoulders and thick neck. 'Is that your brother, what a thing to ask, guess that's why they're firsties.' I reflected heavily upon earlier in the week when a first year asked me this question, he of course was pointing right at that dumpy, air-headed crony of Malfoy's, Vincent Crabbe, he's a sickening boy. I had to wipe my eyes, no way could I ever let anyone see that, I was soon recalling a conversation with ma.
"Now, now Millie." Cooed ma in her usual sultry tone. "No need to cry my dear, just hold up your head and forget those other children."
"You should hear how they chortle at me, I will not go back to that school." I protested in vain, it was like this every August. "Ma, I just want to hide from 'em."
Ma tutted softly, her hazel eyes meeting with mine in the mirror. "I won't say I understand what you feel, I've always been beautiful, but sooner or later you too will grow into a pretty woman." Her tone was loving, soft and could have been soothing if not for the venom in her words.
I wiped at my eyes again, envious of ma and all those girls in the dorm, I couldn't just continue gawking at the mirror all day so I gathered what little pride I had and went to face my housemates. 'Just need to find something to look forward to, that's all, set a goal and focus on only that.' Turning over my thoughts for long enough always produced an idea, I knew I would be facing plenty of badgering today, the common room was abuzz with idle prater. Drawing a deep breath to brace for the barrage of insults, a thought came to mind, 'This is how every day in the life of Millicent Bulstrode starts.'