Faith In My Love
By: Waterflash
I sat alone at night.
Sleep could never come easily for me after what had happened.
"Kohaku…" My brother's name slipped almost mutely from my lips. His name rang through the air, lingering as if I had shouted it into the darkness. I longed to see him running at me with Kirara on his shoulder.
Drifting between cherished memories, reminiscing in the better times... I could only try and think of the happier days of training and youkai exterminating.
But now… All I have are my friends… InuYasha, Kagome, Kirara and…
"Miroku…" I had said it unconsciously, but I knew what I wanted to hear. This wasn't the first time I had said his name. Houshi-sama was only the name I used while speaking to him, but behind closed doors, I spoke the name Miroku. I loved the way it sounded.
Miroku. A beautifully addictive name, that becomes even more beautiful when attached to him.
He is the only one keeping me from losing my mind.
He is my sanity.
I may get irritated with him for groping me, but I could see… He was just hiding everything with his little acts. He's lonely… And I can accept that. He is fated to die.
And we fight for so many reasons.
Miroku fights for his life.
I fight for Kohaku, the villagers, and anyone who died by the hands of that bastard Naraku.
But most of all, I fight for him. I want Miroku to live. I want us to have a future together. I want to see a true smile, not a deceiving one.
We can fight our destiny, and pray we come out alive.
I'm frightened. I remember speaking those words to Kohaku before he had carved this scar into my back.
With soft breaths, I whispered into the still air. "We are all afraid of fighting. But everyone is supposed to fear death. If we don't, we are our own enemies."
"That, my dear Sango, is so true." The voice that had startled me was none other than that of the monk Miroku.
"How long have you been here? Y-you shouldn't interrupt on such moments…" I stammered.
"I wasn't interrupting. I was listening… I want to learn more about you. I want to know everything."
I bit my lip. "I-I don't know…" Tangling my fingers into the futon as a distraction I finished by muttering "I'm not sure…"
"Don't be afraid…" He soothed, taking his left hand and running it through my hair.
"But I am afraid!" I cried, hopefully not too loudly. "I'm so scared…" My bottom lip quivered as tears began to pour down my cheeks.
"Shhh… You can be scared… That means you're human… That's our advantage… We can feel emotions." Miroku embraced me, holding me close to him.
"What if we don't make it? What if Naraku slowly kills us off, one by one, until we are all alone?" I buried my face into his shoulder.
"You'll never be alone. I promise you that. I'll be there for you… Wherever… Whenever you need me." He held me firmly as I sobbed into his shoulder. I couldn't tolerate what I was feeling.
I felt a sense of relief with fear. I didn't know what to feel. It was so perplexing…
And utterly terrifying.
"Miroku, I…" I huffed breathlessly.
"Did you just call me Miroku? I've never heard you say my name before." I glanced agitatedly up at him. I didn't even know what to say. "Don't worry. I like it when you say my name."
Slumping my shoulders forward, falling over on him.
"WHY!?" I screamed, pounding hard on his chest. "Why?! I'm so scared… So afraid… So lonely…" I rolled over, curling up into a tiny ball.
"I can't take it… I can't endure anymore! It's all about deceit and lies! Everyone I love is going to die!" I slipped my katana from under the futon and unsheathed it. Gradually, I traced a line on my neck, leaving a trail of blood behind, smearing onto the silver blade.
Truth be told, I was ready to take my own life so that I could fly with a pair of golden wings in a place far away from here.
It was the stairway to heaven.
"Don't!" With a swipe, Miroku knocked the katana out of my grasp. "This is so stupid! Losing your life won't solve any of your problems! Kohaku and your family all wanted you to live! If you screw this up now by killing yourself, then they won't ever forgive you!" My bloodshot eyes were brimming with tears.
"I'm not trying to ask you to trust me… Just that I'll be here." And he slid into to his futon and slept.
I have to be strong.
I have to live for Kohaku.
I have to protect my friends.
I have to trust Miroku.
I'll fight forever, as long as it takes, so that I can be free from all of my sorrow.
And someday, I'll win.
I have faith in them and myself.
Faith in my love.
We can always forgive, but never forget.
Doubts linger in our minds, but we must stay true to our instincts.
Fight when threatened, flee when frightened.
We will fight together, and come out on top.
Maybe then, we will be able to find serenity and true peace in our minds and restless souls.
Wow, this almost brought me to tears for some odd reason… It's so true… Now for my inspiration. Something I wrote about an hour ago.
We all become afraid of our destiny after hardships. But we are supposed to be afraid of fighting our fate. If not, we are our own enemies, and that would fill our lives with despair.
Forgive, but never forget.
I think I'm having a lot of fun writing Miroku/Sango stuff…
Oh yeah! I don't own InuYasha!
Please review!!!!!