Meow: Meow is truly sorry for not updating on our Songs of DOOM. Blame it on Mango, the ultimate procrastinator who has to study three times a day for a quiz. Peh.

Disclaimer: Pheonixflamechimera78 doesn't own Bleach, Jashin, or the Akatsuki.

This is our Rants of DOOM, mostly Meow-operated for the first few chapters, I guess. Until Mango "has time" again, anyway. So, like the summary says, first up is Chojiro Sasakibe, the ever-ignored lieutenant of the First Division!

Chojiro: …

Meow: …

Chojiro: …

Meow: …SAY SOMETHING, DAMMIT!!!!!!

Chojiro: …I'LL SAY SOMETHING, ALL RIGHT! I'M *BLEEP*ING SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYBODY BOSSING ME AROUND, IGNORING ME, AND MAKING FUN OF ME! JUST CAUSE I *BLEEP*ING APPEAR LESS THAN *BLEEP*ING FILLER CHARACTERS, DOESN'T MEAN THAT I COMMAND ANY LESS RESPECT!

Meow: …yes it does. And also…you just-

Chojiro: WHY IS EVERY *BLEEP*ING PERSON LIKE YOU?! WHY DOES NOBODY LIKE ME? WHY DOES NOBODY RESPECT ME? WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY *BLEEP*ING FANGIRLS?!

Kira: *appears out of nowhere* Fangirls are a curse, I tell you, and I only have about ten.

Meow: IZU-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kira: And unfortunately, that idiot is one of them. And my name is KIRA IZU-

Meow: *glomps Kira* SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IZU-CHAN!!!!!!!

Kira disappears and Meow, looking disappointed, returns to her spot on the couch that all talk show people use.

Chojiro: THAT *BLEEP*ING MORON STOLE MY SHOW BY JUST SHOWING UP! WHY IS THIS WORLD SO UNFAIR?! WHY IS MY RANT SO *BLEEP*ING SHORT?! WHY AM I EVEN ON THIS *BLEEP*ING TALK SHOW THING?!

Meow: Look, Chojiro, you just-

Chojiro: SCREW WHAT I JUST DID! SCREW THIS WHOLE RETARDED STORY-TALK-SHOW-THING! SCREW THIS WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, SCREW THE SOUL SOCIETY, AND SCREW YOU!

Meow: YOU *BLEEP*ING IDIOT, YOU JUST TOTALLY DEMOLISHED THE FOURTH WALL!

Chojiro: SCREW THE FOURTH WALL!!!!!!!! SCREW EVERYTHING!!!! I'M GOING TO CONVERT TO JASHIN, AND JOIN THE AKATSUKI, AND-

Meow: …wrong show, idiot.

Chojiro: …I would release my zanpakuto now, but no one knows what it does.

Meow: Sad, huh?

Chojiro: …screw…you…

Meow: So you don't deny it.

And that concludes Chojiro Sasakibe's rant. It was short because I barely know anything about him. :D

If you agree that he leads a sad and pointless life, please review. If you hate this story, please review. If you want to suggest somebody, please review. If you like this story's concept, please review. If you don't want to review, don't review. Meow doesn't care. But reviews do make her feel nice, and when she feels nice, she writes more.

Even if they are like, "omfg dude u suk go lyke totally scrw urslf in lyke some emo corner," Meow would be more concerned about that person's Language Arts grades than the criticism.

If you like this kind of stuff, then I suggest you go read our Songs of DOOM if you haven't already. It's pretty good, I think. Better than this, cause Mango actually co-wrote those.