"It's been my experience that most women are whiny and needy and not hardly worth the trouble."
The rest of the group stared at the newcomer. Levi had been eating lunch by himself, especially since loosing his friends, but daily coercion from Erwin finally had the man buckle and agree to join him and the others, if for no other reason than to shut the man up.
A single innuendo had brought otherwise intelligent conversation to a crashing halt, and Hanji had dared asked Levi's opinion on the matter. He'd replied in his usual blunt manner, but the other was undeterred. "Who said anything about women?" came the cheeky retort, and for once, Levi was floored. His eyes shot to Erwin, silently demanding explanation.
"Well, you don't appear repulsed, only confused," the blond chuckled. "You want to know if what you're putting together is what Hanji is talking about. If it's that men can and will have consensual sex with one another, it is."
The look deepened. "Excuse me," he finally said, getting up and exiting the room.
"Aw, Erwin, you scared him off," Hanji sighed.
"Scared?" he repeated. "No. I don't think so. He just needs to get his thoughts straightened out."
"Are you saying same-gender sex has never crossed his mind? I find that hard to believe, especially growing up where he did."
"I think it's the consensual part giving him a hard time, actually, especially growing up where he did."
"Oh. That would make sense."
It was. A male having sex with another was what perverts did when they couldn't get a woman to open her legs for them. Usually some unsuspecting teenager (or younger, if they were really fucked up), that couldn't defend themselves.
That actually happening out of affection, of all things…
He couldn't help but wonder: What was that like?
There was only one way he was going to find out. But did he really have it in him to do that? Could he approach the only other person he trusted at this point in his life so far and ask to share their bed, but keep their fucking hands where he could see them? As terrifying as the thought was, the thought that followed it, of feeling warm and safe as he nodded off for the first time in… well, it had been awhile… To feel that again, wasn't that worth a little embarrassment?
It was unless Erwin said no. That, rejection from that man, Levi knew he couldn't take. Not now. He'd sooner put a blade to the other's throat again, this time definitely to kill. Go back to the underground, and spend what was left of his miserable life doing… well, he didn't have to work out all the details.
'But… do I really have it in me to ask him?'
An hour later, Erwin had a visitor at his door.
"Come in," he called to the two sharp knocks that sounded just outside. "Levi," was the add with just a hint of surprise when the an entered the room. "What brings you by?"
"That four-eyes asked me to bring you these," the raven head replied, somewhat awkward on handing a small stack of papers to him.
"Oh, yes. Wouldn't stop following you around and talking?"
"Not even to let me take a piss."
"That sounds right. Was there anything else?"
Levi paused. He had his chance; this was perfect, almost nightfall, surely the other man would be heading back soon… he just needed to swallow enough pride to voice it. "I was… thinking about that conversation during lunch."
"Oh? What about it?"
"About the… implications."
"I'm sorry, Levi, I'm having trouble following you. It's been a long day."
"That people here… sleep with each other. Even though it's against regulations."
"It's been known to happen. Some men seek out others just from fear of getting a woman pregnant, women other women for the same and others, I have found, genuinely prefer the same gender as their own."
"Yeah."
There seemed to be more he wanted to say, but couldn't express it.
Erwin watched the forming red burn cross the other man's face with great interest- he forced his tired brain to keep working. Sex didn't seem to be the goal of the inquiry, that man was too tightly-wound for a one-night stand, what he wanted was the affection, the comfort- especially in his recent losses. "Why Levi, I never would've taken you for a cuddler."
The snarl that was returned would've sent a pack of titans back.
Erwin chuckled. "I'm only teasing. There's nothing wrong with seeking that kind of contact, especially with how our lives are lived."
Levi's expression hadn't calmed, exactly, but it was more compliant.
The other gathered what he needed and stood. "If you want to return with me to my quarters, Levi, I won't hinder you. And I swear I won't try anything you don't want."
"Not unless you want my heel dislocating your hip."
"Is that what happened to the last person who tried?"
"And the five others. Broke his big toe as a bonus."
"Some bonus," Erwin laughed, and closed the office door behind them on their way out.
Levi walked with the commander down various halls that lead out of one building and into another nearby, until finally, to the larger man's private quarters.
And found himself ignored.
Erwin went about his bedroom- the whole place was surprisingly neat and orderly- and his nighttime routine as if he hadn't had a shadow the whole way down. It was as if he were in the room alone.
But as the corporal watched him, he realized Erwin was probably doing that either to help himself feel less awkward, or the commander himself was feeling a touch of the same.
Erwin Smith, feeling out of place. What an interesting thought. Levi decided to do the same, shedding his uniform but folding it neatly to be worn again in the morning. It was around then that he realized he didn't have anything to sleep in, and a chuckle from the other man let him know he'd been noticed realizing it.
"Here," Erwin said, handing him one of his own shirts. "It's comfortable, and just cleaned, I assure you. It should cover you plenty- the bathroom's other there if you hadn't taken note of it already."
"I had," came the dry retort, but took the offered clothing and went in.
The bathroom was immaculate, nothing like what they had to put up with in the barracks. 'I may have to stay here more often just to get away from the filth there,' he chuckled to himself. And this shirt. It was incredibly soft, and smelled only of clean. Either Erwin was a little fastidious himself or his housekeeper was.
"Must be nice having a cleaning staff that knows what they're doing," the raven head remarked on his way out.
Erwin was under the covers, a book in his lap. "They are too good to me," he agreed. "The shirt's all right then?"
"It'll work." He sat down, over the comforter. "What are you reading?"
"Oh, I probably shouldn't tell you."
"It's some banned shit, isn't it?"
"The world we live in, Levi, everything is banned shit."
"True enough, but I didn't think I'd ever hear anyone of rank own up to it."
Erwin chuckled. "I've just started reading it, but it seems to be some letters written by someone while in prison. Why they were published works, I don't know."
"Maybe it's just how they were written; people love shit like that."
"That they do. I didn't mean to be using it to ignore you; I didn't know how long you'd be."
Levi shrugged; he was starting to feel a little awkward.
Erwin saw that. He lifted the blanket next to himself. "Come here; I'll read to you."
"I know how to read," the shorter man snapped back, then continued more calmly, "But okay. That sounds… good." The last was a mutter, and the commander valiantly ignored the crimson crossing the other's cheeks as he crawled in with him.
"Comfortable?"
"…It's not bad." He wasn't to admit against the blond's chest was the most comfortable he'd been in months. Not yet.
"Good," came the return chuckle, and the raven head wasn't sure if it was contesting his own response or contentment with his own contentment.
It was way too late for this shit. "Just make sure you start from the beginning; I don't want to be figuring out what the fuck's going on."
"Of course," Erwin replied, and flipped back to the start.
A few hours later, Hanji tried the knob of the commander's private quarters. Locked.
Erwin was usually up all hours of the night, it wasn't usually locked, but that's what hair pins were for. Two gentle turns and- perfect. No more obstruction.
The door closed quietly behind the intruder, and crept through to the bedroom so it could be passed on that-
Hanji stopped dead in the room's entrance. Hands clapped over a jaw open in shock. In the bed was not only Commander Erwin Smith, but curled against his broad chest was Lance Corporal Levi; both sound asleep.
There were no words for how cute the sight was. "Oh, I have got to keep my eye on you two idiots," came a soft chuckle, and turned to leave, deciding the information could wait until morning.