Summary:
The human body is simple. When you break a bone, you get it set. When your appendix bursts, you get it removed. And then you modify. You adjust. You learn to avoid the danger, so you don't get hurt again.
When it comes to people, on the other hand, it's not as simple. When their hearts break, when their hearts burst, there's no clear method to repair the damage. When people are in pain, they sometimes go directly to the source of what hurt them, hoping that this time will be different.
Hoping that they'll be stronger. Better. Smarter. Kinder.
Better equipped to work through the pain and to be happy.
Stronger to prevent the next injury.
Sometimes, it's only wishful thinking.
And, other times, it works.
Set post S11/early S12.
"I dreamt about you last night."
Callie looked up from her iPad into clear blue eyes, staring intensely at her. She knit her eyebrows together. "What?"
Arizona smiled enigmatically. "I had a dream about you," she repeated. "That's all."
Callie looked at her in confusion. "Okay...?"
Again, Arizona's facial expression was unreadable—as was her response. "I just thought you should know." She smiled, emanating actual, physical sunshine, then moved to walk away. "I'll see you in the meeting."
Callie's eyes followed her ex-wife as she walked away. What the hell had just happened?
"KAREV!" Callie called down the hall towards the Pediatrics fellow.
Alex looked up, already scowling at her. "Why are you always yelling at me?"
Callie quickly strode up to him. "What's going on with Arizona?"
Alex raised his eyebrows. "How the hell should I know? Ask her yourself."
Callie sighed. "She's being weird. Like, she's perky. And friendly. Towards me."
Alex waited.
"Do you know why?"
He made a face. "Maybe she wants to be your friend? I've gotta work," he insisted. "Talk to her if you want to know."
Callie pouted. "Fine. It's just weird, that's all! Isn't it weird?"
Alex shrugged, walking the opposite direction. "It's not like she talks to me about you. Figure it out."
Callie huffed, unmoving. She knew that Arizona's behavior—though odd—shouldn't affect her so much, yet she was intrigued. Really, really intrigued. And she wanted to know what brought the blonde to make a point of seeking her out to freakin' say, "I dreamt about you." Who did that? Seriously? Especially to an ex.
Whatever. Really, it wasn't worth worrying about. Arizona was...in the past.
And Callie was...happy. She'd found a woman who made her happy. Part of her never expected to find someone, again, but well...she had.
She'd met a woman who was drama-free and didn't resent her for things outside of her control.
She was happy. And she wasn't going to let her ex-wife change that.
As Callie and Meredith arrived at the meeting where surgical attendings, fellows, and chiefs of departments were gathered, Callie noted Arizona herself, already sitting down at the crowded table and pointing at the one empty seat left there: one that was coincidentally right beside her.
Had Arizona saved her a seat?
That was weird. More than weird. After two and a half years of barely being cordial and only ever talking about Sofia and the weather, Arizona's sudden obvious interest in her was suspicious. What was it about that day that had Arizona making an effort to...what? Be her friend?
Carefully, Callie sat down beside the blonde.
"I saved you a seat," Arizona explained.
"Thanks."
Arizona dimpled. "How was your morning?"
Before Callie could answer, Dr. Webber bellowed, "Alright, listen up folks."
The room immediately quieted.
"As many of you know, the Board, the Harper Avery Foundation, and I are currently looking for a new Chief of Surgery. I would like to encourage any of you who may feel prepared and interested to consider running for this position. Note that there will also be outside applicants, so it may be competitive. Make sure to plan your proposal with that in mind. Are there any questions?"
Bailey eagerly raised her hand.
"Dr. Bailey, go ahead."
Bailey smiled. "These 'outside applicants.' What might they have that we—the strapping, brilliant, eager, innovative doctors of Grey Sloan— don't?"
Everyone laughed.
Webber eyed the overconfident woman. "I can't tell you that yet, but if you're interested, you should get used to the idea that you are lacking in at least one area where they are not."
That immediately shut everyone up.
"Yes, sir. I will," Bailey nodded.
"Good," he quipped. "Any further questions?"
No one made a move to raise their hands.
"Then, you're all free to go," the patriarch of the hospital concluded.
And everyone was on their way. That is, everyone but Callie and Arizona.
Callie was determined to get to the bottom of Arizona's strange behavior before she left the conference room, and Arizona felt glued in place by Callie's suspicious stare.
"Well," Arizona chirped, ready to get out of there. "See you later?"
"Wait," Callie put up her hand, stopping Arizona without actually laying a hand on her.
Arizona gulped, sitting back down. "Yeah?"
"What is this?" Callie asked bravely. Did she really want to know?
"What?" Arizona asked innocently, but her eyes were shifty.
Callie crossed her arms. "You know what."
Arizona sighed. "I just...I heard you're dating someone, and—"
Callie groaned. The last time Arizona had found out about who she was seeing, it hadn't ended so well. "What, did you date this one, too?"
Arizona smiled patiently. "No, Calliope. I don't even know who she is."
"Why, then?" Callie asked impatiently.
Arizona exhaled a deep breath, trying to remain patient and keep herself from admitting anything she wasn't ready to. "I just...wanted to make sure you knew that I'm happy that you've found someone who makes you happy. Thrilled, really," she plastered a smile on her face that wasn't entirely convincing. "I'm just trying to be a good," she cleared her throat, hating the term, "ex-wife here."
Callie widened her eyes. This admission was unexpected, to say the least. She didn't think she and Arizona could ever be just friends, but here the blonde was, trying. "Thank you," Callie smiled genuinely. "For...being happy for me."
Arizona cocked her head. "Sure. And we should have dinner or something soon. With Sofia, of course," she quickly added. "To catch up."
Callie nodded slowly, weighing the request. Something still felt...weird. But she had missed Arizona. Really, really missed her, just as a person. Because, while she thought Arizona had been the love of her life, the blonde had also been her best friend for a long time. And not being able to be even friends anymore had been hard. So she was glad that they were finally in a place where they could be there for each other, with no hard feelings.
That was what Arizona was saying, right?
"Yeah. You should come to the house sometime. Sof would love it." So would I, she thought, but she silenced the notion, burying it deep inside herself.
Arizona grinned. "So would I."
A few days later, Callie was picking up the house when she got a call on her cell phone. She smiled, picking it up. "Hey, there."
"Hey, stranger."
Callie loved how easy everything was with this woman. Different from how it's been with Arizona—particularly during those last few years. "How's it going?"
"Good," the woman replied. "It would be better if you'd come have dinner with me tonight, though," she flirted.
Callie winced. "I wish I could, but I actually invited my ex over for dinner, tonight."
"Your ex?" the woman intoned.
"Yeah. Just to catch up and make Sofia happy, you know?" Callie explained.
"Sure," she quickly conceded. "We've been together for a few months, now. I trust that you like me."
"Good, because I do," Callie smiled.
"Good. So have fun tonight, and I'll see you this weekend hopefully?"
"Yes," Callie agreed immediately. "See you then. Bye."
When Callie hung up, she sighed. Had it really been a good idea to invite Arizona over for dinner? At their old home? In retrospect, probably not, but there was nothing she could do about it then. She could only emotionally prepare herself for the potential onslaught of pain and awkwardness.
Callie had told Arizona to come by at seven, but of course, she got there ten minutes early. Her parents had taught her the importance of timeliness and manners and, well, they'd seemed to stick with her.
Gingerly, she rang the doorbell, trying to ignore the strange nervousness she felt in the pit of her stomach. Dinner had been her idea, after all, and if anything got awkward, Sofia would be there as a safe buffer.
And, she had to admit, she was thankful that Callie even agreed to see her socially. So much had happened, but Arizona had finally gotten the space to heal and discover what she wanted during the last two and a half years.
She was healed. She had accepted her disability, and she had forgiven Callie.
She had forgiven the woman who—as it turned out—had loved her more than she ever could have imagined, and, well, Arizona wanted her back.
She wanted Callie to forgive her, too.
She knew the odds weren't in her favor, though, so she was settling for...a sort of friendship. That was better than nothing, right?
If Callie was happy with the new woman she was dating, then she deserved to be happy.
Arizona had made her unhappy for long enough.
Finally, the door swung open, but instead of an excited Sofia welcoming her, there was only Callie.
"Hi," Callie smiled sheepishly.
"Hi," Arizona replied, eyeing her ex-wife. "Sofia?"
Callie rolled her eyes slightly, opening the door wider. "Come in."
Carefully, Arizona strode in, immediately taking in the entry-room and living room, looking for any changes.
It looked almost the same as it had when she'd lived there, and she found that to be a relief.
"So, bad news," Callie explained.
Arizona raised her eyebrows.
Callie winced. "I may have forgotten that I agreed to let Sof sleepover at Aleka's tonight. And I tried to cancel, but..."
"Puppy dog eyes," Arizona finished, understanding.
"Yeah!" Callie laughed. "She got that from you, you know. And I have no problem being bad cop when I have to be, but..." she shrugged helplessly, and Arizona smiled.
"It's okay. I get her this weekend, anyway."
"Right," Callie smiled back. God, she was nervous. She knew she shouldn't be. After all, they were over. So over. But, still, having Arizona so close was...dizzying.
Which was stupid, she knew, but she couldn't help but feel a little...dizzy in her presence. There was no other way to describe it.
"So, dinner? With just the two of us?" Arizona asked.
"Yes!" Callie exclaimed, as if suddenly remembering. "But, honestly, I don't really feel like cooking."
Arizona waved her off. "Callie, you don't have to cook for me. I practically invited myself, as is. We could just order in some Chinese? My treat?"
Callie grinned. "Now, that sounds good."
Arizona chuckled. "You still like Kirin?"
"You know me well." Callie cringed at her response as soon as she'd said it, remembering how she'd used to use that same expression when they'd been together. But it was true. As much as she and Arizona tried to forget it, they did, in fact, know each other well.
Better than anyone else, maybe.
Better than anyone else ever could, maybe.
After Arizona made a call to the restaurant to get food delivered, she and Callie made their way over to the couch, each trying to bury memories of everything they'd done on it, once upon a time.
"So..." Arizona prompted, mentally slapping herself. Why was she being so awkward?
"So...?" Callie repeated, hating how awkward they suddenly were with one another.
Arizona cleared her throat. "So, um, how did you meet your," she paused, "girlfriend?"
Before she had even finished, Callie was shaking her head. "I'm not talking to you about that," she chuckled.
"Oh. Okay," Arizona breathed, her voice betraying her unease.
Callie sighed, hating the thought that she'd hurt the blonde. God, she hated that thought. "No," she reached out and put a soothing hand on Arizona's arm. They both looked down at where Callie was now touching her, feeling a sudden jolt flow through them, from the top of their heads to the tips of their toes.
"Not because...I don't know. I just think it's weird. For us to talk about that, you know?" Carefully, she took in Arizona's vulnerable expression. "I don't want to hurt you."
Arizona shook her head rapidly, as if erasing the mere thought from her memory. "You won't. I mean, I'm the one who wanted to be...friendly...right? You don't have to worry about me."
Suddenly noticing her hand still over Arizona's shoulder, Callie lifted it, immediately missing the warmth, and awkwardly set it down on her own thigh. It felt like a cheap substitute.
"I know that I don't have to," Callie clarified. "But...I do." She guiltily met Arizona's intense eyes, shrugging, "I can't help it."
Arizona smiled in spite of herself. "I worry, too," she explained. "Which is why I was asking about her." She smiled jokingly. "I have to make sure she's good enough for you."
Callie looked at Arizona, promising, "Trust me, she is."
At this, it seemed that Arizona didn't even attempt to filter her words, arguing, "I doubt it."
Callie met her eyes in shock, immediately getting lost in cool blue pools. What the hell was she doing? Quickly, she changed the subject. "What about you? Have you dated anyone?"
Arizona shook her head. "Nope."
Callie cocked an eyebrow. It had been two and a half years. Was she really expected to believe that her ex-wife—her hot, smart ex-wife—hadn't been with anyone? "Really? No one?" she questioned, clearly dumbfounded.
"No one," Arizona swore. Then, self-conscious, she explained, "I've been really busy, you know, with two specialties. And..."
"And...?" Callie prompted, when Arizona didn't make a move to continue her thought.
Arizona bit her lip anxiously, meeting warm brown eyes. "And I guess no one else has caught my eye."
"I guess not," Callie replied, still shocked. But, she didn't ignore the obvious implication Arizona had made by saying "no one else." It was directed her way, that she was certain of.
It was then that the Chinese food was delivered, and Arizona quickly hopped up from the couch with an "I've got it!" She was eager for both food and a change of subject.
Callie got up, too, getting two plates and a number of forks from the kitchen and setting everything down on the coffee table.
When Arizona got back, she eyed the setup. "You wanted to eat in here?"
Callie shrugged. "Why not?"
Arizona smiled at her. "It's just like old times. Remember when you were doing your cartilage research? We must've eaten Chinese food every night."
Callie laughed, allowing herself to feel the warm memory. "You brought me takeout from here every time. Made it ten times better."
Arizona dimpled, just allowing herself to take in Callie's immense beauty for a moment. When the Latina was happy, she glowed. There was no other way to describe it. Arizona had missed being around that glow, and she most definitely had missed causing it.
"So, couch it is." She sat down, opening the containers of vegetable chow mein, steamed rice, spicy garlic green beans, sweet and sour chicken, and crispy potstickers.
Callie eyed Arizona. "Overboard, much?"
The blonde shrugged, unfazed. "I was hungry."
As they ate, Callie asked curiously, "Where are you living now that Meredith bought the house back?"
Arizona swallowed before answering. "A hotel, for now. I'm only ever there on my nights with Sof. On your nights, I just sleep on the couch in my office. Get more work done."
Callie nodded. It sounded so...lonely to her. Once again, she wished Arizona would have taken the house after their divorce. She was the one who had fallen in love with it, anyway.
"I'm looking into renting a house, though," Arizona continued. "There's a nice one two blocks from Mer's. Really nice neighborhood, and it's only one floor, which is good for me."
"You're not looking into buying anything?"
Arizona shook her head, a wistful smile pulling at her lips. "I haven't really found anywhere else that feels like home."
Again, with the word "else." This time, Callie couldn't help but feel sympathy for her ex. "You know," she cleared her throat. Callie, what the hell are you doing? "You could always stay here until you figure out your next step. The house is half yours. And there's a guest room. We'd barely even see each other!" She smiled, but she wasn't sure if it was optimistic or abysmal.
In truth, she liked spending time with Arizona. She always had.
Arizona shook her head. That had been the last response she'd expected to hear from Callie. "Callie, I couldn't. Thank you for the offer, but I wouldn't want to intrude in your space."
"You wouldn't," Callie soothed. "You know Sofia would love it, and really, it'd make me feel less guilty about taking this place from you."
"You didn't take it," Arizona argued gently. "I gave it to you."
"And now I'm giving it back," Callie explained. She paused, thinking. "Half back, anyway."
Arizona sighed.
"Just think about it." Callie, what the hell are you doing?! There was the voice again, and honestly, she didn't know what she was doing. She had no idea how to respond to the part of her that was actually thinking critically. Because all she could think about was...
Well, there it was.
She'd been waiting for that smile. That real, genuine, amazed smile, directed right at her.
"Okay," Arizona swore. "I'll think about it."
And Arizona had stayed true to her word. Three days later, she laid in her bed, still considering Callie's words.
It wasn't that the prospect of going home didn't completely thrill her, in this strange, calming sense. Because it did.
It was that "home" wasn't how she had left it. She wouldn't be going home to Callie and Sofia, as she had when she'd lived there in the past. She'd be going home to Sofia. Callie would just happen to be there.
Which was different. And, if she let herself admit it, it was painful to even imagine.
Because Callie would be there, but Callie wouldn't be hers. She was someone else's, instead.
Which was crazy. But it was also the reality.
She decided to track Callie down at work.
"Hey!" Arizona rushed towards the brunette, who was standing in front of the OR board.
Callie turned, smiling at her. Since that dinner, it almost felt as if they'd gotten a new start. A better start—at least compared to the awful start of not being together that followed the last couple's therapy appointment. "Hey."
"Did you mean what you said? About the house?"
Callie turned to her, offering her undivided attention. "I meant it, Arizona. Did you think about it?"
Arizona nodded. "I think," she paused. "I think you should ask the woman you're seeing if it's okay, before I say anything. I wouldn't want to overstep or come between you two."
Callie nodded back, touched by her ex-wife's thoughtfulness. "Sure," she smiled. "I'll talk to her."
And so she did.
"I just..." Callie began. "I feel like I have to help her. We bought the house together, and she's kind of homeless right now."
"Homeless?" the woman questioned.
"Not homeless homeless!" Callie quickly clarified. "She's a doctor for crying out loud. But between houses. That's a better term for it. I just want her to have somewhere to stay until she starts renting her own place."
The woman on the other end of the line sighed. "I'm just worried that she's taking advantage of you."
"She's not." The woman clearly didn't know Arizona.
"And I know that you don't love her like that anymore, but are you sure she isn't still in love with you?"
"We're friends." It was a weak explanation, but it was all she knew to be true. "And she's Sofia's mom."
"I know," the woman exhaled deeply. "I'm not going to forbid you from it or anything like that, but just think before you do anything, okay? You can say I wouldn't let you, if that makes it easier. I just want you to be sure before you invite her into your home."
"Okay," Callie sighed. "I will." She didn't want to think, though. She didn't want to think about potential consequences or issues or whatever. She wanted to give this a shot. Even if she wasn't sure exactly why it was so important to her. She just knew that it was.
This time, it was Callie who sought out Arizona, a few days later. She walked towards her office in the Pediatrics ward, knocking gently before opening it at a friendly, "Come in!"
Arizona was sitting on her couch, overdressing a salad and taking a break from standing. Callie noticed that her prosthesis was laying on the floor and her hair was disheveled.
"Is everything okay?" Callie asked.
"Yeah," Arizona sighed. "Long day. My leg's not happy with me."
Callie frowned sympathetically. "Maybe seeing Sof tonight would help?"
Arizona knit her eyebrows together. "It's your night with her." Then, she took in Callie's knowing smile. "OOOH."
Callie grinned. "You're good to move your stuff in." But, quickly, her eyes widened, as she realized she had been presumptuous. "That is, if you even want to."
Arizona grinned back, her face suddenly only expressing complete and utter joy. "Are you sure?"
If Callie could have smiled any wider, she would have. Just seeing how happy Arizona was made her heart soar. "Positive. Please say yes."
"Yes!" Arizona exclaimed. "Oh, thank you, Callie," she thanked gratefully.
"Don't mention it. Do you need help getting your stuff?"
Arizona shook her head. "I don't want to hassle you. I don't have much. All the furniture and art and stuff is still with you."
"You can have it back," Callie offered, chuckling. "When you get your own house and actually have a place to decorate."
"Right," Arizona smiled, then quickly sobered up, her smile fading as she remembered that, really, she wasn't going home.
She was just visiting.
Okay, so I saw a post on Tumblr called "100 ways to say I love you," one of which was "I dreamt about you." Another of which was "I saved you a seat," so I went with 'em.
Also, of course I had to have Arizona say something random and have Callie respond with, "What?"
Too funny. I'll never get over that part of their dynamic.