NEW STORY!! YAY! In this story they Gray's are not famous. Just regular people like you and me. It's going to be cowritten with: maria08bernal!! (big shocker there)

My name is Lena. I have a workaholic mom and the world stupidest brothers. Actually I have three brothers: Jason, Shane, and Nate. Or in my words: PMS-er, Sex addict, and Drunken Retard. Am I the only normal child in this family? That would be a yes. My dad is on a 'long' business trip to Spain. So he has recently asked to keep him 'updated' on what goes on at home.

Dad, here ya go.

11-19-08

6:10 p.m.

Grrr. I'm home alone and there's nothing to do.

6:15 p.m.

Mom called. She's working late again. For the third time this week. Jason's at work and Nate is.....well I don't know where Nate is. Oh well. Shane is..well..I really don't know where he is either. I'm not their keepers. They are older than me. They should be able to take care of themselves. Wait, no they can't.

6:47 p.m.

My dog Peter fell off the couch and ran head on to the wall. The other two dogs are trying to 'do' each other. It's gross. I'm out of ice cream.

7:21 p.m.

Shane is home. And he brought a skanky looking girl home. He went to his room and locked the door. Then he opened it again and told me to go to the basement. I'm 15. I know what he is gonna do. I'm not stupid. Grr.

7:26 p.m.

JASON IS HOME!!!!! About time. He was like mad.

"Who left a bowl with ice cream soup!?" Jason yelled from the kitchen.

"Shane did!," I yelled smirking to myself.

HELLO! We have a dishwasher! His name is Jason.

I leaned on the door frame.

"So, Shane brought a friend home," I informed my brother.

"Really. Who?" he asked.

"Oh I don't know, but it's a girl and she is wearing only half the amount of clothes a normal people should wear," I said, " You know the usual friends, they are in his room,"

I mentally retraced the steps Shane had token when he had gotten home.

"HOLY SHIT! They are in my room!" I yelled running upstairs.

7:54 p.m.

"Shane, you're an idiot," Jason said.

Jason kicked out the chick. Luckily they didn't get that far but still its the thought that counts.

"We didn't even do anything," Shane said.

"I'm never going to be able to sleep in my room again, asshole!" I yelled crossing my arms.

I need revenge....Oh Peter, time for a pee break.

7:56 p.m.

The deed is done. I can't wait till Shane goes to bed. I'm probably gonna die for doing that to his pillow, but whatever. He was the one trying to 'get it on' in MY bedroom.

"Where the fuck is Nate!"

Jason is uberly PMS-ing right now cause Nate still isn't home. I bet he's either getting high or with a chick...or both. Probably both.

8:14 p.m.

Guess what. Nates home...and drunk off his ass. Ha!

8:16 p.m.

HA!! Nate called Jason, Mom. Ha! It was hilarious. His exact words were:

"Gah! Stop bitching mom...-hiccup-...all I had..-hiccup-...was a few drinks,"

I'm still laughing.

Nate is currently confined to his bedroom for:

being drunk

swearing at Jason.

8:32 p.m.

Gah!!! Jason is being all 'Mom is not home, so I'm in charge because I'm the oldest and if I say to take out the garbage then your going to take out the damn garbage'...again.

So I flipped him off and he sent me to my room. So I'm sitting on my floor trying to stay as far as possible from my bed.

I hope a bus runs him over.

9:00 p.m.

Nate threw up.

On my dog.

I'm uberly pissed right now.

I don't care if he is drunk, he is taking my dog a damn bath.

Too late. Nate passed out.

"Oh Jason," I sang.

9:24 p.m.

Shane's dog tried to eat my phone.

The screen is now broken!

He owes me a new phone and I don't care if I have to take his.

Stupid boy and stupid dog.

I mean hello! I have a life unlike all of my brothers!

9:45 p.m.

There is way too much testosterone in this house.

I NEED OUT!

I don't care if Jason says I have to be in my room. He's not the boss of me.

"Gosh! Lena I swear you have ODD," Jason said.

"What the fuck does that mean,"

"Oppositional Defiance Disorder,"

I took out the orange juice and a glass.

"English please,"

"You never listen to me,"

"Well...duh,"

"Well if I can't keep you in your room, then wash the dishes,"

"I'll pass, you're the one in charge, you do them,"

"I'm busy, Nate is too drunk to function, and Shane is pissed,"

"Shane gets out of doing dishes because he's mad...I'm mad to then,"

"Go to your room!"

"Oh dear Jason...Shut up," I said taking a seat on the couch and taking the remote.

"I hate you all!" Jason yelled.

"We love you too,"

And mom says we don't say that enough to each other...we just have different ways of putting it. I'm pretty sure that when Shane gave Nate a swirly it was a way of saying 'Gee Nate your a wonderful brother'...I have been wrong before.

10:32 p.m.

Jason said he 'put his foot down' and sent us all to bed. More like he unplugged all the t.v.'s, took our stereos, my, well, Shane's phone, and every other thing that has to do with fun or entertainment. I laid down on my bed. (I made Jason change the sheets).

"My sheets smell like dog piss!" I heard Shane yell.

Sweet dreams brothers.

And to Shane:

Salty Dreams to you.

10:35 p.m.

I'm going to shave Shane's head. For what...I don't know. Oh yeah, it might have something to do that he shaved all of Peter's fur!

"He needed a hair cut!"

"He supposed to have long hair retard!"

"Oh, well my bad,".

11:21 p.m.

Final entry of 11-19-08

Dad, I'm gonna die. Can't you come home sooner. Or I will probably massacre all three idiots. Yes I do mean, PMS-er, Sex Addict, and Drunken Retard. I don't know, you choose. :)

So what did you think?! SHould we continue?! Next chapter: A REPLY FROM DAD! 4 REVIEWS FOR NEXT CHAPTER!