A/N: Okay, so this is the fic that starts the KnB spam, get ready, it's gonna hurt in the long run~ But for now, please enjoy my perfect otp *u*
Clicking send on his phone, Tetsuya looked up to the sky. It's been quite a while since he saw Aomine-kun. They haven't spoken since the day of the Touou versus Seirin match at the Winter Cup. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he just didn't have the courage. What should he tell him? There were so many things he wanted to get off of his chest, so many, yet he could express so little.
He knew that he had to be the one to speak out first, Aomine-kun just wasn't this kind of person who reached out first to people. Being his shadow for almost three years taught him a lot about how to handle the sometimes unpleasant character of the ace of Generation of Miracles.
Even at the beginning of their relationship, they got along quite well. Better than well, now that Tetsuya thought about it. Since the very first meeting they seemed to share the mutual feeling of acceptance and respect. Later it turned into a rather close friendship, which both of them found comfortable and relaxing.
Everything apart from basketball was sometimes a reason for a passionate argument, but even those differences in their mindsets proved to solidify their relationship, rather than tear it apart. And there were such days that they understood each other perfectly, without any word exchanged between them.
Yet it all changed on the court. There never was any disagreement when they both started to play. Every pass was accurate, every move completely in sync. They seemed to be like two halves of the same apple, or like others used to say, like the light and its shadow. Apparently so different, but in whole truth, two parts of the same soul. One could not exist apart from the other.
Or so they thought until everything they knew went down the drain. There wasn't any drama between them, as many suspected. Not this time, at least. A slightly bitter smile appeared on Tetsuya's face before he could stop it. Because, really, there was so much history between him and Aomine-kun. They shared so many memories, good and bad. And usually the trips down the memory lane ended up with him nestling in his bed and trying to dull the sharp pain of his broken heart.
Sighing at the feelings that already awakened deep inside him, he checked his phone. No response to his text yet. He'll wait, Tetsuya knew, he always waited. Even now he was still waiting. He wasn't even sure anymore for what, he was just waiting, because it was something that kept his hopes up, that allowed him to go out of bed every day and live.
Stubbornly, his thoughts continued to come back to Aomine, even though he desperately tried to keep his mind clear. It would do him no good to put salt on his wounds. Yet he was too late with this logic, he should have punched himself in the gut for such irresponsibility. His heart already recognized the special pattern for his former teammate, his mind following in suit.
Propping his elbows on his knees, Tetsuya hid his face in his hands. And when the memories came flooding in, he couldn't fight. He didn't stand a chance. As always.
'Oi, Tetsu,' an arm around his neck and the added weight on his back surprised him even more than the sudden calling of his name. 'Your passes have been coming really well recently, have you been practicing without me somewhere?'
Turning his head to the side, he noticed Aomine-kun's eyes. But it wasn't what made the corners of his lips lift only so slightly. It was the smile, this beautiful, carefree smile that Tetsuya wanted to always keep on his teammate's face, the one that lighted his heart with joy and determination to go on. Keeping his expression straight when showered with those smiles was much too hard for Tetsuya, so he stopped trying somewhere along the way.
And now, looking at Aomine-kun, he knew it was completely visible. He didn't know when it started, but it was undeniable that his partner could read him like a book. His deeply hidden emotions, everything he felt was no secret to the ace of Generation of Miracles. It was terrifying to know that someone could see right through him, no matter how much he tried to make himself unreadable.
On the other hand though, Tetsuya was excited, because up to this moment there was no one like Aomine-kun in his life. No one who cared enough to try and peak inside the shell he covered himself in. And that meant a world to him.
'Of course not,' he answered, not even attempting to shrug Aomine-kun off of his back. 'I'm too tired after practice to even think about it.'
'That's fine then,' another dazzling smile was sent his way. 'It wouldn't be good if you started to cheat on me, right?'
Cheat? Tetsuya tilted his head to the side. What did he mean by that? They weren't in that kind of relationship. So why did it matter if he cheated? Well, cheated meaning what exactly? He was slightly confused, but also rather intrigued. Apparently, everything he thought was obvious to Aomine-kun, because the teen sighed and letting go of him, moved to stand before him. Breaking into a huge grin that brightened the day, he said:
'You're my shadow. Mine. It would count as cheating, if you were to find yourself some other light.'
Something alarmingly sweet seeped through Tetsuya's veins, leaving him confused and a bit lightheaded. The possessiveness in his teammate's voice was more flattering and kind of adorable (but he wouldn't ever admit it out loud), than scary. He couldn't place it, but there was something about that tone that made him inexplicably happy.
At that time Tetsuya didn't yet realize what the implications behind Aomine-kun's behaviour would bring. But now he knew, and those simple hints that were just before his eyes made him smile. At his own blindness and at the subtle attempts that failed to penetrate his skull nonetheless.
A sudden tune from his pocket startled him out of his daze. 'Sure, be there in a sec,' was the reply to his text. Tetsuya sighed. He was in no condition to face Aomine-kun. None at all. He knew that he could break any minute now, and it would be too painful to pretend that he was okay. Because he most definitely wasn't.
He was confused. Lately everything about Aomine-kun was making his head spin from thinking too much. He had no idea whatsoever to the reasons for this. Well, not until now. Blinking a bit quicker than normal, the only sign of how shocked he felt, he tried to focus his mind into one coherent thought.
'What do you mean, Aomine-kun?' his voice managed to sound as it always did, which to some extent helped him gather himself up.
'Exactly what I said,' Tetsuya could see how nervous his partner was, since his smile lost its carefree nature, morphing into a shaky ghost of what it normally was. 'I love you, Tetsu.'
And there it was again. This sharp pain in his chest, like a knife going through his heart. What was this feeling of overwhelming sadness and disappointment? Tetsuya couldn't make heads nor tails out of his swarming emotions. He would have understood shock, maybe even disgust. But there was nothing of that sort in his heart. If anything, he was more than ready, and more than happy to accept this confession. Yet the painful feeling of surrealism kept his mouth shut and mind closed off in denial.
'You shouldn't joke like that, Aomine-kun,' Tetsuya finally realized what it was that made him so disappointed.
He wanted it to be true, he wanted to be loved by his light. And he knew that there was just no way that those feelings could be returned. Tetsuya's heart reminded him of itself with another painful change in rhythm. He looked at Aomine-kun, but he didn't really see him. Because of that, he didn't notice how a sudden flash of hurt passed through his partner's eyes, or how his smile, even though nervously unstable, faded and disappeared, substituted by a distressed frown.
'That wasn't a joke,' Aomine-kun's voice was quieter than normal, which surprised Tetsuya out of his own pain. 'I'm serious, but I understand, you don't have to say anything,' a bittersweet smile showed up on his face, making Tetsuya's heart rip into tiny pieces with thorns that drew blood with each breath he took. 'Sorry to have bothered you, Tetsu.'
And before Tetsuya could snap out of shock, he was gone. He didn't care if someone saw him, he really didn't, when he smashed his head against the closest locker. The pain in his forehead dulled the one in his chest, but he felt nothing more than relief.
It was just like him, Tetsuya thought with a healthy dose of irony, to be shocked speechless. On second hand, it was just like Aomine-kun. He always was the one to stir emotions in him and bring them onto his face. No one before him was able to do that, and no one after could even come close. On rare occasions Kagami-kun brought out something, but it still wasn't enough to move him to the core.
The sun was setting down and it was getting darker and darker with every passing minute. Tetsuya was sitting on a bench inside one of the street courts he and Aomine-kun used to frequent in middle school. Slightly colder, but not at all unpleasant, evening breeze brushed through his unruly hair.
A sigh of contentment escaped him and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He knew he should probably call and take a rain check on this meeting, but he didn't want to. Waiting was becoming too painful, too undefined, unpredictable. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had to move on.
It was hot, so hot. How much would he give for some rain right now. Forget that, for a bath filled with ice-cold water. A shiver passed down his back, making it seem even hotter, since his clothes clung more tightly to his sweaty body with even the smallest of movements. He sighed quietly. He hated heat, absolutely abhorred it. Summer could just go and poof out of existence for all he cared.
'Oi, Tetsu,' something cold touched his cheek. In the first reflex he wanted to cling to it and never let go, but he contained those overdramatic reactions to look up at his boyfriend.
It was really something that even in this heat, after working his butt off in practice, Aomine-kun still looked as relaxed as ever. This effortless way of being was something Tetsuya always admired, because it was a complete opposite of him.
But he never wanted to be like that, oh no. He would revere it and regard it as an ideal, but he would never try to change himself. There was nothing high and mighty behind his reasoning, only a simple fact that if he was different, Aomine-kun wouldn't have taken any interest in him. A little smile ghosted at the corners of his lips.
'You okay there?' his boyfriend's voice was laced with easily recognizable undertones of worry. 'You look paler than normal.'
'I'm fine, Aomine-kun,' he would have huffed with annoyance and made a, definitely not cute, little pout, if his character could allow such a wild display of emotions. 'It's just too hot for my liking.'
'Hmm,' the ace of the Generation of Miracles took a few gulps of the water from the bottle he was holding, and then leaned in, bringing his face inches apart from Tetsuya's.
His face was cupped in the other's hands, which were so pleasurably cold from the bottle, that Tetsuya only wanted to close his eyes, give in and melt. When his boyfriend moved closer, he opened his mouth to protest automatically, because it was so unbelievably hot, even without his added body heat, but stopped at the feeling of cold, cold breath on his dry lips. And he had to admit, it was refreshing.
Closing the rest of the distance, Aomine-kun's lips found their way to his and… Tetsuya had troubles with coherent thinking for another few minutes, during which icy tongue ravished the inside of his mouth. The heavenly feeling of relief sent shivers down his spine and after they broke apart a sigh of contentment broke through his lips.
'Better?' Aomine-kun chuckled, as always reading him impeccably.
Watching his smile, Tetsuya once again felt the rush of love flash through him. It was inexplicable how he managed to fall for this person more and more every day. In a way it was scary, he was afraid that one day he may get burnt, if he comes too close to this light. But he knew that even if that time really have come, he'd never regret it. This was his light, and he'd never leave it. Never.
He sighed wistfully. How naïve his thoughts now seemed to his own mind. A little love-sick kid, who never experienced any pain, that's who he used to be. But he changed, or rather he was changed, not by his own will, but by those feelings that Aomine-kun gave life to and then crushed without any remorse.
Even though he tried, Tetsuya couldn't give in, he had to make sure that there really was no chance to get back his light, his beloved partner and friend. And if there really was no trace of him in the man Aomine-kun became, then he had to move on. He had to stop clinging so desperately to the past and start looking towards the future. Because no matter how much time and effort he spent on it, if everything he did up till now didn't bring any change, he was sure that he could do nothing more. He had to give up.
Just the thought of doing that sent painful weave of sorrow through his heart. Tetsuya knew that it would hurt, he was prepared for it. At least that's what he tried to tell himself, as the throbbing in his chest became much more noticeable with each thought of the person he loved. He opened his eyes, not realizing that at one time he closed them, and looked around the court.
The sun already disappeared behind the horizon, shrouding the city in darkness, dimly lighted by the street lamps and sparkling neon signs. Tetsuya felt rather comfortable on the bench that was far from any source of light, leaving him to his thoughts that revolved solely around Aomine. He knew what he wanted to say, and he would be saying it, consequences be damned.
With steeled determination Tetsuya looked up from the ground and froze. A few meters before him stood the object of his mental battle, gazing at him with a mixture of laughter and anger in his eyes.
'You shouldn't space out like that, Tetsu, you'd get mugged,' Aomine-kun's voice was lower than he remembered, and something dangerous seemed to linger at the edge, threatening everyone who'd dare oppose him. But Tetsuya knew, more like hoped, desperately hoped, that all of it was just a façade. 'Especially when it's this late.'
'Yes, I know, I just got lost in thoughts,' he replied, not really thinking about it.
He was too focused on watching the changes that made his carefree, basketball loving boyfriend so much more different from the person standing right before him. It was shocking how much people could change.
With a noncommittal hum, Aomine-kun moved to sit down near him, but the distance he kept made Tetsuya look away and close his eyes briefly in pain. It hurt, he knew it would… He couldn't look at him, not anymore, not when every single thing hurt more than he was able to cope with. Trying to compose himself took much longer than usual, every breath of the teen beside him was distracting and ruining all his attempts. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Aomine-kun's voice broke the silence between them.
'So,' Tetsuya turned to him only to notice that he was put under close scrutiny, 'what did you want to talk about?'
Tetsuya opened his mouth, but something made him hesitate. If he did it, if he told him the truth, they could end up never speaking to each other again. This could be the last time they even see each other. The hand of dread clutched his heart tightly. He didn't want that, he'd hate it.
Standing up from his place, he took a few steps away from the bench. He had to clear his mind. Or maybe he should just get over with this? Open his mouth and say everything he had on his mind. Taking a deep breath, he finally felt some semblance of peace enter his heart.
'I love you, Aomine-kun,' he didn't turn around to see the reaction those words brought out of his former teammate. He just continued on, as if in fear that all his determination will disappear. 'Maybe you've already moved on, but I couldn't. I still love you,' he took a deep breath to calm his racing pulse and turned around to face Aomine-kun. 'I'm sorry, I had to say it, because without it I can't move on.'
Finally, he dared to look at his former partner, and what he saw, instantly made him wish he hadn't. Aomine-kun was sitting in the same place he left him, the only difference was that now his face was hidden in his hands, elbows propped on his tights. His shoulders were hunched and Tetsuya could feel the guilt wrecking through his mind, already consumed by emotions. It was over, everything was over, they would never speak again, he realized.
'Move on…' Aomine-kun's voice was calm and slightly hoarse, which made Tetsuya's conscience kick him once again. 'From loving me?'
His ex-teammate glanced up at him and the look in his eyes made Tetsuya want to hug him, then and there. But he didn't, he couldn't. He just shook his head.
'From this insecurity,' he said, stepping closer. 'I need to know if you feel the same, and if not, I need to let you go.'
A bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he watched Aomine-kun's eyes widen. He knew he had to give him some time, so he waited. He was always patient, waiting was never a problem, but right now all he could think of was how he wanted to know what the answer's going to be. Was it already too late for them? He refused to believe that. But if that's what Aomine-kun wanted, he would accept that, he would be free…
The sudden movement brought his eyes back to his former teammate, who was now standing up from the bench. With uncertainty and a bit of uneasiness Tetsuya watched as Aomine-kun quickly covered the distance between them in two long strides. Strong, large hands caught his face and Tetsuya's lips were smashed with those familiar ones, much warmer than his own.
The feeling was so nostalgic, that tears threatened to fall down his cheeks. He wanted this. He waited so long, so long… All this suffering, all the effort he put into changing Aomine-kun, it all paid off. And he didn't regret a thing, as he clung to the man he loved, wanting to feel him through every inch of his body.
When they broke the kiss, Tetsuya looked up at his former partner, expressionless as always, though just beneath the surface he was a bubbly concoction of joy, fear, anxiety and expectance.
'Was that a yes?' he asked. He needed to hear it, from Aomine-kun's own mouth, in his own voice, in his words.
A low chuckle vibrated through the teen's chest, making Tetsuya smile his tiny smile. It was a wonderful sound, one that he believed he will never get bored of hearing.
'Yes,' Aomine-kun said, smiling softly at him. 'That was a yes.'
He hugged Tetsuya closely, burying his face in his chest and holding him for dear life. And that was all Tetsuya ever wanted. Sighing with relief, he inhaled that familiar smell of the ball and the unique fragrance that he always associated with Aomine-kun. This was how it should be, he thought, circling his arms around the other teen's waist and burying himself even deeper into his warmth.
A gentle hand combing through his hair was soothing his nerves to a degree when he nearly found himself half asleep. He almost missed the softly spoken 'This was I'm sorry'. Aomine-kun placed a long kiss to his brow, after which he joined their foreheads together and looking straight into his eyes broke into a carefree smile, that made Tetsuya's breath hitch.
'And that was thank you,' a thumb touched Tetsuya's cheek, sliding across his cheekbone in a caress so gentle it almost hurt. 'I still love you too, Tetsu.'
Sooo... What do you think? Please review~