We'd all given it thought, spared a few morbid moments. How we would go out. With a bang? A flourish? In glory? Or in defeated shame?
Mind you, we tried to keep our mind on more elevated, uplifting topics. When we did think about how we would go out, I think we just assumed we'd go out together, as a unit, all five of us. In one last ditch effort, save the world, and move on to whatever was next.
Consequently when Robin and I started dating, we began to think about it more, how the other would die. But again, we did try to keep spirits up. Depressing days were far and few between in the tower. Anniversaries tended to be the worst. Not normal once, like a one year of being together anniversary. The likes of 7 years since Cyborg's accident. 10 years since the death of Robin's parents. 3 years since Traitorous Terra sacrificed herself.
But I'd never given thought to the smaller ends. Like the last battle. Or the last breath. The last kiss. Not until that fateful day, when we all died. It was inevitable to think about the small things, when they were all you had left. The tower was gone, the city destroyed. The Titans were still together, barely. We had next to nothing.
The Last Battle.
We still had one villain though. He brought on this empty loneliness, our deaths. If it helps put your minds at ease, I will tell you that we all went out fighting as we never had before, stronger, smarter, harder than ever we had before.
Just not strong enough. Not smart enough. Not hard enough. After our deaths the entire Titan network arrived with the Justice League. Our villain, who to this day, has no official name, was badly wounded when they arrived. The teams made short work of him.
The Last Breath.
The first to go was Cyborg, my strong big brother. We were all there when he left. Two identical fiery spikes. One through his central circuitry. One through his human heart. I held his hand. Everyone else was too horrified to do anything. We mourned him in the little time we had. When we returned to battle his death lay heavily upon our shoulders.
Next was Raven, cloaked in her familiar blue and a contrasting, sickening deep red. Burns mostly, that she hadn't had the time to heal, nor the energy. I was not the only one who held her hand though. Beast Boy clung to her, minutes after she had already passed. He would have stayed longer, but we were...interrupted.
It wasn't long after Raven that Beast Boy succumbed. He just couldn't live without Raven. That is what he said to me, as Robin saluted him in his final moments. This one was especially heavy on Robin's heart. He had promised Raven in her last moments... And he had failed.
After Beast Boy, I ran out of tears. Robin and I were the only ones left. And we still had one final, fatal job left. Kill Him was my only thought. It was in vein. My attempts only brought my death, and Robin's.
The Last Kiss.
He pulled me close, his lips pressed against mine fiercely. His calloused fingers tapped softly on my back. A pattern, over and over. That haunting pattern. Morse Code, I realized.
It was so hard to think, so hard to want to think but when he kissed me like that... Like a last goodbye... I tried to push it from my mind. I only succeeded for a short time. All I wanted to think, all I wanted to feel, was now, and this kiss.
All too soon the tapping registered and became the forefront of my attention. (Mind you I remained kissing him.) I took the time to translate. It was a language he taught me.
Strong.
As in, you are. Like I always tell you. Like you always strive to be. I can practically hear his voice in my mind, communicating all that with a single word.
Again, Strong.
As in, stay strong. What I always say to you, in the dark, when you need me. What you always do. What you need to do when I'm gone.
Strong.
That's how our love is. Always was, always will be, sweetheart.
I clutched at him in a desperate, pleading way, as his arms in turn squeezed me tighter to him. I did not need dots and dashes to tell him what I was saying. Do not do this. I am scared, so scared. Please.
He stopped kissing me for a brief second, rubbed his nose against mine affectionately. And went back to kissing.
Love you.
Don't say it! Not now! Not like this! I shook my head slightly my heart ached, pounded violently. Not like this. To my credit, only a single tear escaped before I pulled myself together again.
But of course, this was Robin, so it did not go unknown. He pulled away, pressed his cheek to mine, his arms shifted, squeezed, in a way I'm sure he thought was reassuringly, around my waist.
"This is so wrong." I whispered, my lips brushed against his.
"Yes."
"But it is all we can do."
"Yes."
"Must you? Are you really going to?" My throat was rough and scratchy. It clearly reflected in my voice.
"You know I do. You know I have to."
"Promise not be long then. I do not want to have to miss you." It sounded forced. Not light as I intended.
"Star-"
"No."
"Star-" He tried again.
"No." I was unrelenting. I left no room for argument.
"I promise."
"And?" I demanded. He smiled then. So did I.
"I love you." It was said simply, but powerfully.
"And I love you as well."