White Horse
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own anyone but my OC Isabelle. Despite that sad fact, please have a read and feel free to comment. Thank you!
Say you're sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Isabelle stared at Evan, tears brimming at the rims of her eyes. "How could you? How could you?!"
Evan looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Izzy, I didn't mean to! I really didn't. I thought it was just a one-night thing. I really didn't expect for things to turn out this way."
Isabelle collapsed onto the floor. "I trusted you, Evan..."
Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known
In an instant, all the well-meaning advice that people had given to Isabelle flooded her mind. That it wasn't easy being on the road. That Evan would get lonely. That he would need comfort. That he would be tempted by all the ring rats and the fact that no one would ever find out. That it would happen, sooner or later, but surely.
At that time, Isabelle had brushed off all the advice, assuring everyone that no, Evan was not like that. Despite all the temptations on the road, he would surely stay faithful to his commitment to her.
There were times when a small seed of doubt creeped into her mind – like that time when there was a small red lipstick smudge on the inner collar of Evan's shirt, or when she found scratches on his back that she was sure she didn't make. But, each and every time, Evan had a logical explanation for it. And, each and every time, Isabelle chose to believe him.
She mentally rebuked herself, reminding herself that there was never smoke without any fire.
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around
Evan looked desperately at Isabelle. "Baby, please understand. I never meant to cheat on you. I was lonely... And, I didn't want to seem like a pussy in front of the guys."
Isabelle looked disbelievingly at him. "You didn't want to seem like a pussy? And, that makes it okay?"
Evan buried his face in his hands before looking up. "No, I'm not saying that it does. But, baby, things are different out there. You don't understand. It's a big playing field out there and things are different. If I don't play along, I won't get anywhere in the company. You don't understand."
Isabelle pursed her lips and nodded. "Yes, I don't understand, Evan. I'm just a small-town girl, with a small-town concept of faithfulness." Her words trailed off into a sob.
"I'll ask her to get an abortion," Evan tried to put his arms around her. Isabelle shrugged them off. "Then, everything will go back to the way it was."
"You really think that will solve everything?" Isabelle sounded slightly hysterical.
"Baby..."
"Evan, when you joined the company, everyone warned me this would happen," Isabelle sobbed. "And, I told them, no, you're different, things won't turn out this way. That you'd be faithful and that we'd get married some day. Those were all dreams, weren't they?"
Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know
Evan looked helplessly at Isabelle. "No, they're not. We can still make them happen."
Isabelle shook her head. She stared into the space ahead of her, lost. The pain in her heart was overwhelming - it felt as though something was trying to force its way out of her body. She wanted to scream but, had neither the energy nor the strength to do so.
She didn't know which was worse, the fact that Evan had repeatedly cheated on her or that he sincerely thought that there was nothing wrong in what he had done. She held up one hand. "Evan, let me talk. Let me just say everything and then, you can say what you need to. Okay?"
Evan nodded, his puppy-dog eyes breaking Isabelle's heart.
"We've been dating for 9 years, Evan," Isabelle started. "When I saw you in high school, you took my breath away. And, when we started dating, you and me, you, this hot senior and me, this nobody freshman, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world."
Evan made as though to speak. Isabelle
laid a gentle hand on his thigh, shaking her head. He settled back and let her continue. Evan took Isabelle's hand. She didn't move it away, seemingly lost in her world of memories.
"I gave you everything I had, everything, my heart, my innocence, everything! I gave you 9 years of my life, Evan, 9 years!" Isabelle broke down in sobs. Evan awkwardly rubbed his thumb over the top of her palm.
She tried to compose herself and continued. "It wasn't easy agreeing to your dream of joining the WWE. I knew what I was in for – 300 plus days a year not seeing you, having to make a life of my own for the greater part of the year. But, I was willing to make that sacrifice, because it was your dream. I just kept telling myself that you'd come back, we'd still be happy together and that we'd get married and have a family together some day. That was my dream." She rubbed her eyes, wiping away the tears that were falling freely. "But, it was just a dream, wasn't it?" The sadness in Isabelle's voice upset Evan even more than bitterness would have. There was a calm resignation in it that frightened him.
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
Evan shook his head vehemently. "Baby, let's make your dream happen. We still can."
Isabelle smiled humorlessly. "It's not going to happen, Evan. You've made that choice. I don't want to be in first place, I want to be in only place. But, wrestling is in first place in your heart, Evan."
"No, you are. You have been for the past 9 years. Don't you know that by now?"
"Evan," Isabelle replied gently. "I think I know when I'm not a priority in someone's life. And, let me gracefully step out of yours. Wrestling has been your dream as long as I've known you. You have this great chance ahead of you. Don't waste it."
"What are you saying?" The shock tremored in Evan's voice.
"In order to pursue your dream, you shouldn't be held back by anyone," Isabelle replied. "And, that includes me. Chase your dream, Evan. Someday, you'll meet someone else. And, you'll love her enough to put her in only place. And, that'll be the woman you'll marry."
"But, you're the one I want to marry! Why would we have stuck together for so long if we didn't have that in mind?"
Isabelle shrugged. "That didn't cross your mind when you did what you did."
"That was a one-off thing, it didn't mean anything to me."
"And, how many one-offs have there been?" Isabelle asked mirthlessly. "She's pregnant. Do right by her, Evan."
"Doesn't this relationship mean anything to you?" Evan panicked, sounding desperate and frightened. "How can you sit there and calmly tell me you want to end things?"
"I don't," Isabelle answered honestly. "I love you so much. But, you've hurt me beyond measure. And, from that, I know that whatever I can give you will never be enough. So, it's best that we just call it off." A tear trickled down Isabelle's cheek.
And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry
Evan felt as though the wind was taken out of him. He didn't know it but tears were running down his face. "You are, baby, you are. Please. Give us a second chance. Please... I told you, she'll get an abortion. Let's try and patch things up."
Isabelle shook her head, her own tears flowing. "I love you, but I can't. I can't go through life being scared all the time. I'm sorry..."
"We'll go to City Hall and get married tomorrow!" Evan started grasping at straws. "We'll try for a baby! Our baby! Vince will have to give me more time at home that way!"
Isabelle felt a pang shoot at her heart. How many times in the past 9 years had she dreamt of Evan proposing? How many times had she dreamt of him telling her that he wanted to start a family with her? All these dreams were now coming to pass, but not in the way she had wanted.
She took hold of Evan's hand and held it gently, savouring the feel for perhaps the very last time. "It's too little, too late."
Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
"I love you, Evan, I always will," Isabelle said softly. "I love you now. But, I need to be with someone I can depend on. Someone I feel secure with."
"I'm that person!" Evan grabbed her hand, trying to convey how he felt.
Isabelle shook her head. "I thought so. Until you told me all this. I cannot get the thought of your having a baby with someone else out of my mind. And, don't tell me about the abortion. That's not the point."
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
Evan burst out in loud sobs, begging Isabelle to reconsider her decision. Isabelle felt tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. She stood up, not wanting to waver on her decision.
"Evan," her voice was gentle, firm. "Someday, when the pain settles down, maybe we can be friends again. Until that day, I just need to be away from you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now