A/N
Hello! Just a little something I came up last week and I finally decided to write it. Don't own anything. Never have, never will.
But It's Comfy in the Closet!
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"Come on, Mione!" Ginny exclaimed, taking another bite of her chicken.
"We're going to make you tell us," Ron threatened, "eventually," he added.
Hermione sighed in exasperation, "How did we even get to this topic?"
"You know how. Harry and I saw you entering the common room at 1 a.m.! Now, explain yourself, young lady," Ginny said, resembling her mother at almost a scary level.
Hermione rolled her eyes, "I don't need to explain anything to any of you," She lowered her eyes to her plate, "I'm suddenly not hungry anymore. I'm going to the library."
She pushed the plate and stormed off, swinging her bag over one shoulder. Harry followed his friend with his eyes. On her way out of the Great Hall, she bumped into Malfoy and Blaise. She threw one venomous "Watch it!" at them and was gone.
"I think you guys crossed the line," Neville said quietly.
"She'll get over it," Ron dismissed the thought, "so where do you think she was last night? I bet she was with a guy."
"Oh, definitely," Ginny nodded in approval, "But which one?" She pretended to think, scratching her chin and tilting her head, "I say it was Neville," she finally declared.
Neville blushed and defended himself, "Ginny, you know that's not true."
While his friends were chatting and teasing Neville, Harry was unusually quiet. He was picking on his food, chasing a pea across the plate. He didn't like invading Hermione's privacy like this and the conversation didn't interest him. Besides, he had his own business to take care of. Hermione can go out with anyone she likes.
Ginny and he were hanging out in the common room last night, with an occasional snogging session. But he had been distracted throughout the whole evening. His mind had a mind of its own and it decided to keep wandering off to the other Weasley sibling, who was sound asleep upstairs.
"Harry, are you ok?" Ginny had sounded worried. Luckily, Hermione chose that moment to sneak into the common room and Harry was saved from the awkward explanations.
Harry sighed, finally catching the rebellious pea. He has come to terms with being gay, or at least bi, some time ago, but he only told Hermione about it. He felt that he could trust her not to blab it out. He was nowhere near ready to come out just yet. He had no idea how he was going to do it. Is it normal to come up to your best friend and say, "Hey, I know I'm dating your sister, she's great, but I kind of like you better"?
He glanced at Ron. He had a small piece of mashed potato on his bottom lip that was moving fast while he took part in a heated discussion about Hermione's whereabouts. Harry suddenly wished he was mashed potato.
"Harry, mate, you alright?"
Harry unglued his eyes from Ron's lips, "Of course, just not really hungry," he muttered, knowing how unconvincing it sounded. "Sorry, guys, I'm crappy company today, I'm nervous about a Herbology essay. I have a free period now, I should head out to the library," he pecked his girlfriend on the lips, "See you at Transfiguration, Ron!"
Ron shot him a crooked smile. Harry felt his eyes on his back while he made his way out. He suddenly didn't know what to do with his hands.
He found Hermione at a table in the back of the library. Her quill was dancing across the parchment at a furious pace; she only glanced at the opened book in front of her once in a while. He sat opposite of her and started slowly taking his books out.
"Hermione, are you..."
"Don't...Just don't."
Harry obliged and they worked, only the sound of Hermione's quill scarping the parchment was breaking the silence, while Harry pretended to read.
He was, in fact, playing all the possible scenarios about coming out in his head. He had known Ron for 6 years now, but he honestly had no idea how he would react to this. Would he be surprised? Probably. The whole world would be surprised, astonished even. Who'd think that Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was attracted to men? Would people start looking at him in some other way?
But more importantly, would Ron?
Poor fellow is going to be so confused, Harry thought. Freaked out, maybe. But he'd accept it. Ron would be there for him, no matter what. They'd talk it through and maybe, just maybe, they would give it a shot. Harry wouldn't rush anything. He knew how much struggle is accepting the fact that you're gay. But eventually, Ron would understand.
Or would he be...disgusted? Oh, he could just imagine Ron's face, disbelief and repulsion written all over it. Harry's eyes watered. Why brain, why do you do this to me?
Hermione glanced up after 10 minutes, "Your book is upside down."
"Oh," Harry smiled sheepishly.
Hermione pursed her lips, "So when are you going to tell them?"
"I can't, Hermione, you know that."
"It's eating you up! You have to tell! At least to Ron! If you keep bottling it up, you might end up with a gastric ulcer!"
Harry wasn't sure if this was true, but who is he to question Hermione?
"Harry," she continued, softer, "I've been watching you for the past 10 minutes and your face changed from snowy white, to deep purple, and to a sickly yellow. It's not healthy."
He scoffed, "Why don't you follow your own advice, Hermione?"
She raised her eyebrows, "I'm not sure I get what you mean, Harry," but her eyes glowed dangerously, daring him to continue.
"You totally do. When are you going to tell them about Malfoy?"
She blinked. Cleared her throat. Gulped. "Excuse me?" Two bright red circles were forming on her cheeks.
"Mione, you're my friend, I know you," he said gently. She was still dumbstruck. He reached for her hand, but she swatted him away.
"Nonsense, Harry," she jumped to her feet, collecting her things from the table and stuffing them into her bag.
He laughed, "If you say so, Hermione."
She all but ran out, leaving Harry alone with his strange emotions.
When the bell rang, he groaned. Transfiguration was the next class, and he still couldn't conjure a decent bird, much less a whole flock.
Students were spilling out of the classrooms, and Harry fought his way through the river. He found Ron already sitting at their table in the row furthest from Professor McGonagall. His head was slumped on his hand and he was doodling something in the corner of a parchment.
"Hey," Harry threw his bag on the table and sank into his seat.
"Oh, hey," Ron's head jerked up as he quickly covered the parchment with his arm, "What took you so long to come?"
Harry sighed, "I had a lot on my mind, you know, Herbology essay..." He trailed off, taken aback by Ron's strange behaviour. He was nodding enthusiastically, encouraging Harry to keep talking. He was staring intensively in his eyes. What is going on, Harry thought, but he returned the gaze, not wanting to be the one to back away.
"Quiet, class," Professor McGonagall strolled in. Harry winced, breaking the eye contact. Ron turned to the front of the classroom, where McGonagall was already starting today's lesson. Harry attempted to write down the notes. This was probably an important lesson (according to Hermione, every lesson is important) and will be a part of NEWTs next year. But his eyes soon darted to the window. When he found nothing interesting there, he decided to spy on his classmates a bit. Sitting at the back of the classroom had its perks. He was disappointed to find out that the majority of students actually paid (or pretended to pay) attention to the lesson. A Ravenclaw girl was reading a book under her desk. The cover wasn't moving, so Harry concluded the book was muggle. Probably some sloppy romance novel, from the looks of it.
Lavender and Parvati were giggling and pointing their fingers at Terry Boot who was pretending not to notice, but occasionally gave them each a wink. Pompous bastard.
Dean and Seamus, who were sitting to Harry's right, were silently discussing what seemed to be an important matter. Harry didn't want to eavesdrop, but he heard something about angels and demons. He shook his head, bemused. They were probably talking about that movie with Tom Hanks.
Suddenly he felt something hit him on back of the head. He bent under the table to pick up a mystery object that turned out to be a crumbled piece of parchment.
Meet me in the library at 5.
R
Harry frowned. Someone wanted to meet up with him? He subtly looked around to see where the projectile came from and met the eyes of none other than Romilda Vane. He was now positively confused-she only gave him an understanding smile and a nod, then turned her attention back to McGonagall.
Seems like I'm making another trip to the library today, Harry though, hopefully this one will be more productive.
Harry sighed. He could've been drinking tea right now, but here he was-walking between the rows of dusty old books, tracing them with his fingers. Romilda was nowhere to be seen. Was this some kind of joke? And why would she want to meet with him anyway?
"Harry," came a hiss and Romilda emerged from behind him. So she didn't stand him up after all. She dragged him over to the first empty table and sat him down, making herself comfortable at the other side. She licked her lips, quickly checked if someone was listening to them, and then leaned over the table. Her eyes were flickering; as if she has some secret bottled up and can't keep it anymore. Harry swallowed nervously.
"Harry, I know."
Bollocks was Harry's first thought. He instantly thought about Ron, his best kept secret. What is this crazy girl talking about? She couldn't possibly mean...
"I know about you and Ron," she confirmed her fears.
"But there is no Ron and I" he blurted out. Then he realized that he didn't even try to deny it. "How did you know?"
She laughed lightly, not to disturb Madam Prince, "You might say I'm quite familiar with it."
Harry's eyes widened, "You mean you're..."
"I swing the other way, yes."
"I..I had no idea. I take it you haven't come out yet?"
"Well," she considered, "my parents and close friends know." She smiled fondly, "And my girlfriend, of course."
"Wow. I don't know what to say. Good for you," he smiled, still a bit confused. "So, that's what you wanted to tell me? Wait, how did you actually know? Am I that obvious?"
"I saw Ron staring at you in Transfiguration today. He looked at you like he's about to eat you up," she made a gushy sound and then noticed Harry's blank expression.
"Sorry, I get overly excited about these things. Anyway, I just want you to know, it's ok. Just go for it. You can never know if Ron likes you back if you don't do something about it."
"I don't even know if he's gay. I can't just ambush the poor guy like that. And Ginny! What about Ginny!" he was starting to panic again.
"Step one: calm down! Bloody hell, Harry! You're such a girl!"
Harry burst into a fit of nervous chuckles.
"Step two: explain it to Ginny. She loves both you and Ron, she should understand."
Harry nodded, uncertain.
"Step three: Invite Ron for a talk. See how that turns out."
"Easy for you to say. No one gives a damn about you being a lesbian-no offense- but I'm in this stupid spotlight. Why can't I just have a normal life?" he buried his hands in his hands. Romilda awkwardly patted the side of his head.
"Now, now, don't be a baby. You're our hero, remember? I'm sure no one is going to be giving you a hard time."
"Except Ron," Harry raised his head and blushed, "no pun intended."
Harry waited another week before deciding to check the step two off Romilda's list. Talk to Ginny. Right. As simple as it sounds.
He waited for the night to fall and for the common room to clear out. That took a while, since it was a Friday night and students didn't have to study for tomorrow. Harry cherished this delay and used this time to try to think of the way to come out of the closet. When the students started vanishing in the dorms, Harry tried to wiggle his way out of the confession, not paying attention to anything that Ginny was saying and fighting with him inner self. Why exactly was he doing this? Being in the closet was nice and safe. No one bothered him there. If no one knows, it can't hurt anyone. Except now Hermione and Romilda both knew. They have both sworn not to tell anyone, although Malfoy occasionally shot him an upsettingly knowing look. Harry chose to ignore it.
"Harry!" Ginny snapped at him, frowning. He finally looked at her.
"Yes, dear?"
"Don't you dear me! Get your head out of your arse and listen to me!" She paused, "Or should I say, get your head out of my brother's arse."
"Oh for the love of God!" Harry jumped up, "Does everyone in this bloody school know everything?!" He was almost shouting now. Ginny pulled him back on the sofa.
"If you keep yelling like this, they will know."
Harry gritted his teeth, "Who told you?"
"No one told me," she made a confused face, "you told someone already?"
Harry ignored her question, "How did you know?"
"Quidditch practices. You've been staring at his arse far too long for it to be acceptable."
Harry blushed, "And you... you're ok with this?"
"Why wouldn't I be? Sure, I was pretty sad when I realized... But I guess I got over it. I wasn't madly in love with you anyway."
"Oh, Gee, good to know."
They parted on the friendly terms. Harry woke up next morning, a light headache kicking in. It's this bloody weather, he thought. Raindrops were racing down the window. Great, now his Saturday is ruined. Ron was still asleep in the next bed. Curtains were closed, but he could hear the light snoring anyway. Harry kicked the covers off.
He found Hermione snuggled in the sofa by the fireplace, concentrated on a book. She was one of the few occupants of the room.
"'Morning, Harry," she closed her book, "it's only 8 o'clock, what are you doing up?"
He sat down, sighing. "Couldn't sleep."
"So, how did it go with Ginny?"
"She knew. How do all girls know?"
"We're smart," she said with a smug smile on her lips, "when are you going to tell Ron?"
"When are you going to tell about Malfoy?" he shot back, triumphing when he saw her smile fade.
"It's not Malfoy," she persisted, "I wouldn't tell you even if it was him. And it's not. Definitely not. Why would you think that?" She produced a high pitched laughter.
Harry raised his eyebrows and she blushed, biting her bottom lip.
"Whatever, Harry," she opened her book and raised it so he couldn't see her face.
"Have it your way." He went to the Great Hall. Maybe some food would help him gather the courage. He could go for something sweet... Yes, that was a good idea.
He sat at the table, far from other fellow Gryffindors. He didn't feel like talking. He scanned the table, in search for something tasty. He chose a chocolate chip muffin and dug into it. Only few moments later, he almost chocked on a hair. He lost his appetite, feeling like he's about to throw up.
He suddenly felt trapped. Rain was still pouring, so he roamed the castle for a while, until he got tired and people started to look at him strangely. He decided to go back to the common room, but he couldn't find any of his friends in there.
If I tell everything to Ron and he refuses me, I will never be able to look at him with a straight face again, Harry thought as he was climbing the stairs to the dormitory. But if he backs away now, he'll never get the courage again. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice Ron until he bumped into his chest.
"Oh," Harry uttered.
"Hey," Ron sent him a half smile, "I was just about to go looking for you."
Harry jumped onto his still unmade bed, "Really? Why?"
Ron picked up his bag and dug through it, not answering Harry right away. He finally found what he wanted-a box of chocolates. He opened it, unwrapped one and stuffed it into his mouth hungrily. Then he remembered his manners and offered Harry, who happily accepted the sweet. Ron then followed Harry's lead and sat on his bed.
"Well, I have something to tell you."
"I have something to tell you, too," Harry bit into his chocolate, strawberry filling spilling down his throat.
"Harry, I-I," Ron stuttered, "wow, this is awkward." His face was bright red, colour clashing horribly with his ginger hair.
"Ron, what is it?" Seeing his friend, his crush, like this made Harry almost forget his own troubles. "Ron, is something wrong?"
"No, no," Ron quickly dismissed it, "I've wanted to tell you this for a while now, but I... I couldn't find the right way... I wanted to apologize for earlier today. I must've creeped you out in Transfiguration."
"Oh. It doesn't matter, Ron."
"There's more."
Harry was completely still except for the bright blue chocolate wrapper that he was twisting in his hands. It made a light sound when he clutched it.
"Be a man, Ron," Ron muttered to himself. Harry lightly frowned, thinking that he misheard him.
"Harry," Ron took in a deep breath, "I like you." He looked him right into the eyes, waiting for the response. His usual smile was gone.
Harry's mind was completely blank. He heard his heart pounding in his ears.
He likes me.
Inspiration struck him. He dropped the chocolate wrapper on the floor and it soundlessly landed. Although Harry wouldn't have heard it even if it had thumped loudly. He wouldn't have noticed if an elephant walked in. He leaned towards Ron and kissed him on the lips.
It was a light, innocent kiss, and it felt wonderful. Harry felt like a huge weight was lifted from his lungs. He felt like he could fly.
They finally parted and looked at each other. Harry chuckled, making Ron smile as well. They were soon laughing like mad men.
This was easier than I thought, Harry mused to himself.
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Another A/N:
Hope you guys enjoyed it, let me know what you think in your review.
Also, if anyone was wondering what were Dean and Seamus talking about-it was a shameless reference to the show Supernatural.