Disclaimer: I own nothing. Have fun reading.
Chapter 1
A heavy sigh escaped my lips. Walking down the same path to my apartment since I could remember with both my hands in my coat pocket. Despite the somewhat piercing cold weather, quite a few people were still outside bustling from the busy streets doing their own business. A strong gush of wind hit my face and felt like a couple of kunai pierced through my skin making my already red nose and cheeks a new shade of red. Although it's just five in the afternoon, it's already getting dark. Its really obvious that Christmas is just around the corner waiting for the right opportune moment to drag me in an alley, cut open my chest to take out my heart, stitch my open chest shut with rusty needles and barbed wire only to shove my heart in my throat to put it in place back again. You could say by the autumn equinox hit, I'll be no better than all the emo kids in Konoha combined.
Another sigh escaped my lips. I can't but feel depressed. It's the time of year everybody's been waiting for, a time for joyous festivities for family and friends, mostly a time for resolving family issues and family bonding. I ran my tan hand across my blonde hair in an aggravated manner. Although I do have my friends to spend the merry month with but I think it would be best if they spend it with their families. Of course, being a ninja you'd take what you can get for a day off or two. I probably think I'm the most miserable being on the entire village, excluding the Uchiha bastard of course, he's always miserable. If he's not, you can never tell. I sighed once more when I realized that I've reached my desired destination, walks nowadays are becoming shorter with each passing day or maybe its just me brooding all the time. I shuffled through my pockets to find my key, once found with a couple of lint, I inserted it through the awaiting keyhole turning it twice and finally hearing the resounding click that told me that I didn't get the wrong door. I immediately kicked off my shoes to the side before slowly making my way to the telephone to order some Chinese.
It's been like this for a couple of months now. I would order Chinese take out if I'm alone or brooding, it kind of became my comfort blanket aside from ramen of course. Ramen is my air; I can never live without it. No wait, I can live without ramen, I just chose not to. After talking to the guy on the phone confirming my orders, I hung up the phone going into my room to change into a white shirt and a pair of orange sweats, not forgetting my nightcap. By settling down into my couch, this is usually the time where I would realize how truly alone I am inside my house. Not only inside my house but me in general. To think I'd been alone for nineteen years already I would have been used to it by now, but no matter how happy I was during the day with my friends I'd always go back alone in my apartment. There is only two ways to stop myself from drowning in self-pity, those are inhaling ramen or inhaling cigarettes.
Since I already ordered Chinese, I decided that maybe smoking would do. I made my way to may room, opened the bottom drawer of my bedside table looking for those cancer sticks that once inhaled makes my body feel like brand new. I opened my bedroom window and sat on the sill; my usual smoking spot, I could see a pile of cigarette butts on the grass below me. I never realized I smoked that much. Placing the stick in between my lips and lighting up the lighter, I inhaled and immediately I feel the nicotine flow through my veins clearing my thoughts like unclogging a stuffed nose. I exhaled the smoke, amusing myself with the gray-ish swirls flowing around my face. Taking another drag I let myself wonder when I first started smoking. I think it was a couple weeks after the Valley of the End incident with Uchiha. I felt so useless and incompetent for not being able to stop the bastard from leaving that I distanced myself from everyone.
Everyone seems to understand that I took it most hard when he left. Because to them, to the villagers and to everybody, they just lost another Uchiha. Hey, they lost whole clan; one more Uchiha gone wouldn't hurt. But to me, I lost a friend, a rival that fights me wholeheartedly and an ear. Yes, the Uchiha no matter how much of a bastard he is undoubtedly is the only person who truly listens and understands how lonely it gets at night, except for Iruka-sensei of course. When he left, I found myself one day in a shabby convenient store paying for a pack of cigarettes. No shit the cashier looked at me like I'm on crack but I'm guessing he thinks that if I get enough of the cigarettes in my system I'd choke one day and die a miserable death. After all, they think I'm Kyuubi. So what better way to get rid of the demon than to give him all the cigarettes he wants and wait until his lungs burn down?
I looked down on my fingers holding the stick noticing a long strip of ash that failed to crumble on its own, I shook my fingers watching as the ashes fell while the wind picking them up. I thought about the first time I got caught smoking. I chuckled as I took a slow drag remembering the time Kakashi-sensei saw me smoking. It had been a relatively long and tiring mission and after separating to go our ways I decided that eating ramen would be nice. While waiting for the old man to make my miso ramen, I snuck out quietly to take a smoke on the dark alley beside the stand. Its half passed nine so, the streets are deserted. I was halfway through my first cigarette when Kakashi saw me taking a drag. Before I could register what was happening, he came up behind me and punched me in the head. The stick on my mouth flew into the air and landed beside Kakashi's foot crushing it with his sandals. Kakashi gave me a good beating, trying to go back to my senses; although he already knew it was too late, but it still didn't stop him from beating me into a damn pulp. Kakashi informed Iruka, being the good sensei that he is. Typically, the next day just as I was about to down the milk carton Iruka came bursting through my apartment door, yelling and screaming right in front of my face. After a couple of minutes of him scolding me at the top of his lungs, my ears went numb and started bleeding. Iruka also knew it was too late, because he knows I'm not the old Naruto anymore.
I'm not the Naruto that gets excited over some little thing like some new ninja technique or rule. Sure, I still act happier than most people but not like the hyperactive twelve year old I used to be. Soon, everybody noticed. They assumed that I just matured. I did matured but not under the circumstances I like to mature in. I matured because I had to, I had no choice or else I'd committed suicide long ago. I took a last drag of the stick and threw it out my window, keeping the smoke in my mouth a little longer than necessary before I exhaled it, feeling my tongue tingling from the prolonged stay of the smoke.
Author's Note: It's a bit depressing, I know. I'll try to add a bit of fluff or cheer onto the next chapters. Damn, I know you guys are pelting me with tomatoes and other vegetables within your reach but goddamnit stop! I know its far from ha-ha funny but my sense of humour is pretty deranged.
Oh, it doesn't hurt to review or even criticize the fucking story.
Much love,
X Archie =)