It hurts my heart, to see you cry
I know it's dark, this part of life
Oh, it finds us all, we're too small
To stop the rain, oh, but when it rains
"Dude, how long does it take to get ready for Graduation? It's not even ours!" Finn yelled to his step brother who had been in the bathroom for little over an hour.
"How many times have I told you this, Finn? Everyday is a chance to show the world what true fashion looks like. I don't understand why you're getting all wound up. We can't leave for another half hour anyway. Blaine's not here yet," Kurt called in reply.
"Well, yeah, but we still need to go pick up Rachel and-" He was cut off by his phone ringing.
"Speak of the devil," he muttered as he hit the answer button. "Hey, babe. What's up?
"I was just calling to make sure you remembered the activities set up for the day," she said.
"Of course, I'm just waiting for Kurt to get ready and Blaine to hurry his ass up and get here already so we can finally come and get you."
"You say that like you haven't seen me in years."
"It feels like I haven't.."
"Finn, you just saw me last night," she said with a laugh.
"Well, yeah, but that's too long of a time to go without seeing you," he replied.
"Just wait another half an hour and you'll see me for the rest of the day."
"I like the sound of that," he told her with a smile.
"Me too. Now, what are you wearing?"
"Rachel Berry, I didn't know you were into dirty talk," he said with a laugh.
"Finn! I meant about Graduation. Don't be so crude."
He was still laughing. "I know, I know. And I'm wearing some tan pants, you know kappies or whatever and a button down shirt."
"Khakis? Did Kurt help pick it out?"
"Yeah, those. And maybe a little.."
"Good. I'm sure you look very handsome," she laughed.
He smiled. "And I'm sure you look beautiful. You always do."
"Finn-"
The doorbell rang twice, signaling Blaine's arrival. "Is that Blaine?" She asked.
"I think so." He turned his head towards Kurt's direction and yelled, "Is Blaine here?"
"Yeah!" He got in response.
He heard Rachel laughing on the other end. "I'll let you go so you can finish getting ready. Tell Kurt and Blaine to hurry up so you can get here," she told him.
"You say that like you haven't seen me in years," he said, mimicking her words.
"Oh, shush."
"I'll be there in ten minutes," he laughed. " I love you, Rachel."
"I love you, too."
*click*
"Why is it so hot?" Finn whined, pulling at the collar of his shirt.
They were in the gym where practically the entire town was gathered to watch the ceremony. It was 90 degrees outside and about 95 in the school. Rachel laughed and tugged on his hand towards their seats. "Because it's summer, Finn. What did you expect? Snow?"
"No," he grumbled. "But, we're inside. Isn't it supposed to be, you know, not hot?"
Rachel smiled and shook her head. "They turn off the air conditioning towards the last day of school. It's unnecessary and would waste too much money if they kept it on all summer."
Rachel found their seats and sat down with him following her actions. "Well, that's stupid. Why wouldn't they just wait to turn it off after Graduation? That makes no sense."
"I don't know, Finn. Why don't you go file a complaint to Principal Figgins?" she teased.
He grumbles a "no way" in response. She just smiles and leans up to kiss his cheek.
"We're still swimming at your house after this right?" He asks a few minutes later.
"Yes. Are Kurt and Blaine coming as well, or will it just be the two of us?"
"Nope, just us. They're going back to Blaine's to hang out with the Warblers, or something."
She smiles and nods her head, turning her attention towards the stage.
He was happy it was just gonna be him and Rachel. They had been out of school for 4 days now and the only time he'd been able to be alone with her was when they got back together in the library on the last day of school. They were usually accompanied by Kurt or Blaine or both. He just really needed Rachel. Alone.
He hears some music playing and Rachel makes him stand up while the Star-Spangled Banner plays. They sit back down again and Principal Figgins starts talking about college or something. He isn't really paying attention.
Rachel leans her head on his shoulder and puts their intertwined hands in her lap. "Can you believe this will be us in a year? It's so crazy how fast time can go by," she whispers to him.
"Yeah, I know," he whispers back. He looks back up to the stage and starts thinking about how he was going to be walking across it in just a short time. He feels Rachel shift on his shoulder and he looks down to her. Their conversation from the library a few days ago flashes through is mind. "You have to know that I'm leaving, Finn. I'm going to New York and I'm never coming back." He knows, oh buddy you bet he knows. Rachel's always been meant for so much more than Lima and New York was, like, made for her. So, yeah, he knows she's leaving. (Doesn't mean he has to like the idea.) It's just, the way she talks about New York and college..
It just leaves him with this uneasy feeling in his stomach. Like, he knows she loves him, he does. It's just, he knows she loves the stage and performing, too. And he doesn't want to hold her back from all that or anything, he just need to show her that she doesn't really have to choose between the two. She can have both, love and career. And he's only got a year to prove that to her. He's gonna talk to Kurt about getting applications to schools in New York. He would talk to Rachel, but he kinda wants it to be a surprise.
He feels her hand squeeze his. She does that alot. Squeezes his hand. He likes it though. Really, he just likes that he can hold her hand again. He missed it, more than he likes to admit. He just missed her. Her smile and her laugh make his day so much better. And her kisses, God, her kisses. He could kiss her for hours, he thinks, and never, ever get tired. He loves her. And it's kind of overwhelming just how much he loves her. Like, even when he was with Quinn, he only thought about Rachel. That pull she has on him gets stronger each day. It's like he can feel it tightening around his heart. He thinks that maybe some of her intensity's rubbed off on him, but, really, he couldn't care less. She's happy and he's happy (finally) and that's all that really matters, right?
He hears her sigh so he looks back to the stage and sees someone who looks important giving a speech on leaving and having memories or whatever.
He's gonna leave here with so many memories, he thinks. He and Rachel alone already have so many, not to mention the memories from Glee Club or football or his new family. He smiles and thinks about all the stuff he's been through since high school started. Being with Quinn and how being popular used to be so important to him. He shakes his head free of those thoughts and tightens his grip on Rachel's hand. Those memories don't mean anything to him anymore and he never wants to relive them again. He thinks, instead, about the first time he sang with Rachel. He smiles when he remembers the crazy look that was in her eyes that day and he laughs a little when he remembers about looking under his bed for her that night.
He remembers the picnic she set up for them and that first kiss and how he had to run away because of the effect she had on him. He blushes a little, cause he still gets like that around her (He's totally getting better though.)
He hears the people around him start clapping and he sees the important dude on stage sit down. Principal Figgins starts calling out the names of students who are getting their diplomas. After they're all called, Figgins congratulates the "Class of 2011" and there's whooping and hollering as they throw their hats in the air. Rachel stands and he can see that she'd cried, cause her nose is all red and she's dabbing at her eyes.
He stands and wraps her up in a hug. "Why'd you cry?"
She hugs him tighter, "Because thinking about everything got to me. Everything I've been through since highschool started, I never thought I'd actually be grateful for it all."
He's confused. How can she be grateful for how badly she's been treated? "Why do you say that?"
"All the teasing and the name calling. All of that led me here. Led me to you," she says, looking up at him.
He smiles as he tucks a stray hair behind her ear and leans down to kiss her. "I love you," he murmurs once they pull away.
"I love you, too," she smiles. "Are you ready to go?"
He smiles. "Yep, let's go find Kurt and Blaine and get out of here," he tells her as he laces their fingers together. "Where'd they sit anyways?"
"Over here," she says, leading him to where Kurt and Blaine are.
They get to the Hudmel household and Rachel tells him she has to use the bathroom and then they can leave.
Five minutes later, she comes down the stairs, kisses Kurt and Blaine each on the cheek and tells them she'll see them later. She grabs Finn's hand and pulls him out the door.
Once they get to Rachel's, he grabs his trunks and rounds to the passenger side to help her out.
"Always so chivalrous," she tells him with a smile.
"Only the best for my girl."
She just laughs and swings their hands in between them as they walk to her front door.
He's missed that. Her laugh. It's, like, the best sound in the whole world and it's been a while since he's really heard it.
He directs them towards her room so they can get changed.
"I got a new swimming suit," she tells him, nonchalantly.
His eyebrows shoot up. "Really?" A new swimming suit? He hopes it's a bikini.
"Yep, it's pink."
He could've guessed that on his own. All her swimming suits are pink or have pink on them. He tells her that and she smacks his chest playfully and tells him to go change.
She goes into the bathroom and a few minutes later he hears, "Close your eyes!"
"Why?" He asks, sitting down on her bed.
"Because I said so!" She yells back.
"Fine. They're closed." He even put his hand over them so he wouldn't be tempted to peek and get her mad at him.
"Promise?"
"Yes, Rachel. I promise."
He hears the door open and feels her presence in between his legs. She grabs his hand from his eyes and tells him to "open".
She's got on this hot pink bikini with a gold star right on her left boob. She looks fucking sexy. He grabs her around the waist and pulls her closer to him. "Do you like it?" She asks timidly as she wraps her arms around his neck.
"You look sexy as hell, Rach."
She blushes and looks down. "Really?"
"Mhmm," he murmurs before he closes the distance between them to kiss her. His grip on her waist tightens and he opens his mouth to deepen the kiss. He hears her whimper against his mouth before she pulls away. She walks out of his grasp towards the door. "You coming?" She asks him, turning around with a smirk.
"You don't play fair, Berry."
"Never said I did," she tells him. "Now, are you coming or what?"
He stands as she turns to walk out the door. She's gonna kill him one of these days, he's sure of it.
"Finn! Put me down!"
He's got her over his shoulder, ready to throw her into the pool. "But I thought you wanted to swim?"
"Yes, I do, but not- Finn, don't you dare throw me in!" She screamed.
"Not unless you promise me you're gonna get in as soon as I put you down."
"I promise! I promise!"
He laughs and rests her on her feet. He takes one step back and plunges into the water canonball style, soaking Rachel in the process.
"Finn!"
He re-surfaces, smiling. "What? You're getting in anyway, just though I'd help speed it along."
"You think you're so funny, don't you?"
"I'd like to think so," he says throwing her his lop-sided grin.
She walks over to the ladder so she could get in. He swims along the side, following her.
"No, no, no. You stay right over there until I get in," she tells him, pointing to the other end of the pool.
"I'm not gonna do anything, babe, I swear."
"Why don't I believe you?" She asks, quirking an eyebrow.
"I have no idea," he tells her innocently, swimming closer to the ladder.
She steps on the first rung and shouts, "Oh my God! What is that?"
Finn turned and looked in the direction she was looking. "What's what? What are you-"
He was cut off by her jumping on his back, shoving him under the water.
When he came back up, she was already half-way to the other end laughing. "That wasn't very nice," he said, swimming towards her.
"Karma, baby," she said with a smile.
"You know I have to get you back now, right? It's the law of physics or something."
"No way, I got you back for splashing me. We're even now. You doing something to me would tip the balance and then it wouldn't be fair."
"Who ever said I play fair?" He asked, stalking towards her, grabbing her by the waist, and throwing her up in the air.
She came up spluttering and he went to kiss her, but she smacked him.
"Get away from me! I hate you!" She yelled teasingly.
"Well, I love you," he murmured, grabbing her waist.
She smiled and wrapped her legs and arms around him. "How do you do that?" She asked.
"Do what?"
"Make me not be mad at you."
He shrugged. "I dunno, I just do."
She smiled softly and leaned in to kiss him. When she pulled back, she rested her forehead against his and whispered, "I love you, too, by the way. So much."
He kissed her again. "I know, baby." She smiled and pulled away from him, swimming to the other end.
They lounge in the pool for a few hours, just talking or laughing, Finn stealing kisses whenever he got the chance. It's nice, he thinks, just being here with Rachel.
The sun is setting and Rachel's wrapped around him when his stomach growls. "Are you hungry? We haven't had dinner yet, and I found this new vegan lasagna recipe that I wanted to-"
"I thought we could go out tonight. I actually, uh, made us a picnic. If that's okay," he said shyly, interrupting her.
"Really? That would be lovely," she beamed.
He loved that he could make her smile like that. Like he was her favorite person in the world. She was his favorite person, that's for sure. He smiled back at her and thought about just how big a part Rachel was in his life. He never, ever would have thought a person could mean as much as Rachel does to him. He just loves her, so much, and it's absolutely terrifying. He thinks about stuff, like going to New York and getting married and having babies and-
Woah. Slow down, Hudson.
He feels Rachel untangling herself from him. She swims over to the ladder and starts to climb out.
"Where ya goin?" He asks.
"On a picnic. Or did you already forget?"
"I didn't forget. I just didn't know we were going now," he tells her.
She gets out and, damn, did that new swimming suit fit her ass perfectly. She turns her head and catches him staring. She smirks and grabs her towel to dry off.
He jumped out on the side and walks over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. "I really love this new swimming suit," he whispers in her ear hotly.
She leans back into his embrace and smiles. "I think it's one of my favorites," she replies.
"Me, too," he whispered, kissing her neck. She arches into him and moans. He turns her around in his arms so he can kiss her properly and she wraps her arms around him and jumps.
Holy. Shit. Did that just happen? Now she's got her legs around his waist and this is fucking awesome. She darts her tongue out and tangles it with his and buries her hands in his hair, pulling it. Hard. He moans into her mouth and when she bucks her hips into his slightly. She pulls back for air, panting. He feels like he's going to pass out and his breathing is ragged and his heart is pounding so hard he knows she can hear it. He needs to sit down before he drops her.
"I love you, Finn," she says, breathlessly.
Well, shit. His heart's in overdrive now. God, how does she do that? Get him so worked up he can't think straight.
He sets her down on her feet and grabs one of her hands, placing it over his heart. He looks down at her and smiles. "It's beating really hard."
She smiles. "You know, you can kiss me if you want to."
"I want to," he says before he leans down and pecks her lips one more time.
His stomach growls, therefore ruining the moment. He pulls away and groans.
She just laughs. "Come on, let's go eat," she says, pulling them inside to change.
They're lying on a ratty, old blanket Finn had in the back of his truck, looking up at the stars.
"Thank you for the picnic, Finn. It was delicious," Rachel says, snuggling into his embrace.
His arms tighten around her. "No problem, I didn't make it all though, my mom made the sandwiches."
"Reguardless, it was wonderful."
He sighs happily and closes his eyes. Things cannot get better than this, he thinks. How is it possible to be this happy? He doesn't really think he deserves it, but then again, maybe he does. Everything he's been through, what with Quinn and Rachel and Puck and Jesse, he deserves to be happy, right? Sure, he's done some stupid shit, too. He knows he isn't innocent, but Rachel's forgiven him and he's forgiven her.
"What are you thinking about?" He hears her ask.
"You."
"What about me?"
"How happy you make me and how I was an idiot for going without you for so long."
She sighs. "Finn, you need to stop beating yourself up over this. I'm here, you're here, and we're not going anywhere. Everything that's happened has led us up to this point, and I, for one, am grateful for it. It's given us a stronger, more stable relationship," she says, sitting up.
"We both made mistakes and we've both paid greatly for them. We deserve to be happy and you make me happy. I love you, Finn. A lot of things have changed, but that's one thing that never will," she tells him, laying back down into his arms.
"Will we still be here next year when we graduate?" He whispers into her hair.
He can hear her breath hitch. "I hope so," she whispers back.
"You don't have to choose, ya know. You can have both. Love and career, I mean."
"But I can't," she says. "I do have to choose because New York is my dream, Finn. I belong on that stage, but I-I can't lose you and I want both. I want it so badly, but I can't ask you to go to New York because of me, it's selfish and I want you to have your own dream."
"What if being with you in New York is my dream?" He asks.
"Finn-"
"No, listen to me," he tells her, pulling them up so they're sitting facing eachother.
"I don't know a lot of things. Like, derivitives, or spanish, or Edgar Allen Poe, but I know you. And I know I love you. More than anyone else in this world. And I know I wanna be with you as long as I possibly can, which if I had my way, would be forever, but things don't always go my way. I know you're going to go to New York and you're gonna be this huge Broadway star and win a bunch of Tony's and stuff, and everyone's gonna fall in love with you. I know that, Rach, but what I don't understand is how you think I wouldn't want to come with you." He takes a breath and grabs her hands.
"I know you think I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, and maybe I don't, but I know for a fact that I wanna be with you. I wanna be able to kiss you whenever I want and I wanna be the one you call when you've had a bad day and need to be cheered up. I wanna be the guy who's there with you when you win all that stuff, Rachel. And I'm gonna prove to you that you can have both. You can have your career in New York and you can have me, too, because I'm coming with you."
A tear falls from her eye and he wipes it away with his thumb. "Finn, I can't ask you to do that. You need to do what's right for you and New York may not be right for you."
"But you're right for me, Rach. And New York is right for me if you're there. I can't imagine being anywhere but where you are. You make me a better man. You make me think and try and prove to people that I'm more than just some dumb jock."
"You're not dumb," she murmurs.
"I know. But I would be if I let you go after high school. After all we've been through. I know a lot of people don't marry their high school sweethearts, or whatever, but I can't see myself being with anyone but you. I don't want to marry anyone but you, or have babies with anyone but you, and I don't wanna grow old with anyone but you."
"You mean the absolute world to me, Rachel, and I need you. I need you to be there to believe in me when no one else does. And I need you to love me when the day ends, because I don't think I can go being without you ever again."
She'd started crying in earnest now as she tugs him to her. "I love you," she whispers. "And I want you there with me, Finn. I do. Seeing you in the front row at one of my shows, or coming home to you after a long rehearsal.. I can see it. I can see our whole life and I want it to work out, Finn. I need it to work out, but if I get my hopes up and everything crashes, I don't know what I'll do."
He hugs her tighter and kisses her hair. "Everything's gonna be fine. You just have to trust me on this one. I'm coming to New York with you, I promise."
She pulls away from his embrace and strokes his cheek affectionately. "How can you be so sure?"
"Because I'm gonna make it happen even if it's the last thing I do."
She leans in and kisses him passionately, throwing everything she has into it. He pulls back and rests his forehead against hers. "I love you, Rachel," he whispers, running his hand through her hair.
"I love you, too," she whispers back.
He didn't know much, but he knew he was going to do everything in his power to make sure she never stopped saying those words to him.
He pulled up in front of her house, and turned off the ignition. It was quiet for a long time. He almost thought she fell asleep or something until she turned to him.
"I should probably go inside. I don't want my dad's to freak out."
"Promise me you won't worry yourself over what we talked about. It's not for another year and you stress yourself out enough as it is."
"Finn-"
"Promise me, Rachel."
A sigh was the only response he got.
"Come here," he said, tugging on her hand. He pulled her into his lap and she nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck.
"I don't want you to think about any of this for the rest of summer, okay? This summer is about you and me and being together. Not about choosing, or about being in New York, or anything else but you and me," he tells her.
"Okay," she whispers. "You and me. Just you and me."
"Just you and me. All summer. Then, maybe once school starts, you can start freaking out," he teases her.
She giggles and looks at him. "I love you, Finn."She leans in and kisses him lightly on the lips.
"I love you, too." Just as he leaned in to give her another kiss, the porch light flicked on.
Rachel groaned and got off his lap. "That's my cue. I'll see you tomorrow?"
He nods. "I'll call you when I wake up."
"Okay," she says, leaning over to kiss him one more time. He kisses her back, trying to put every ounce of him in the kiss. She pulls back, says good-bye and walks to her door.
He makes sure she gets in okay and when he sees the door shut, he drives off.
When he pulls into his driveway, his phone vibrates, signaling a text message.
You and me. All summer. -Rachel
He smiles and types back a quick reply.
Correction: You and me. Forever.- Finn
He walks up the stairs to his room and falls into his bed exhausted. His phone buzzes again.
I think I like that one much better.(: I love you.- Rachel
I love you, too. Forever and ever and ever.- Finn
He puts the phone on his nightstand and changes into his pajamas. He gets back in bed and rolls over, looking at the picture of him and Rachel at Nationals, kissing on stage. He smiles at the memory and closes his eyes.
Thoughts of Rachel swirl around in his mind. They'll be okay, he thinks. Besides, he doesn't give up that easy, remember?
I will stand by you, I will help you through
When you've done all you can do, you can call
I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight, and I won't let go
A/N This is my first try at writing. I might keep going with this or I might just leave it as a one-shot. I'm not sure. Lyrics are from I Won't Let Go by Rascal Flatts.
read&review, por favor. (: