"Oi, Kakuzu."
"What is it Hidan?"
"What do you believe happens after we die?"
The two shinobi were seated under the branches of a two tall trees. It was well past midnight, the sky was filled with milky stars and the air a chill breeze. Kakuzu chose to remain silent, turning towards his silver-haired companion who had leaned up against another tree a few feet away.
"Don't you have scriptures to answer those kinds of questions?" The man sighed, closing his odd-coloured eyes and leaning back against his own tree. It was late, and he wished to get some sleep before the next day's journey.
"Tsk! Of course I know what happens after heathens like you are killed!" Hidan spat. "I was just wondering what the hell you believe in! ... If anything." His face was now fixed in a scowl.
"Just shut up and go to sleep Hidan." Was the stitched man's only answer. Hidan continued to grumble for a few more minutes, before realizing he could no longer get response out of Kakuzu. With that in mind he finally resigned himself to getting some sleep.
It wasn't until the two of them were well into their journey the next morning that Hidan brought up the topic again. The duo was in the forest still, but the trees had started thinning out. Kakuzu lead the way, metal briefcase in hand, while Hidan trailed not far behind. The Jashinist had his hands behind his head, and was leaning back casually when he spoke.
"Oi Oi, Kakuzu" he started, already grating on said man's nerves. "You never answered my question."
"What are you talking about?"
"Last night remember? I asked what you believe happens after you die."
"And you care about my opinion?"
"UGH, no! I don't care about your fucking opinion, I was just curious!" Hidan continued to glare at Kakuzu's back.
"Well, I can tell you that the one thing I surely don't believe in is your pathetic Jashin." Hidan almost exploded at this remark. "But even if I end up in some version of Hell, the Devil still needs accountants."
"You are such a heathen!" Hidan started yelling. "No God has any need for money, greed is a sin against Jashin!"
"If greed is such a sin, then why hasn't Jashin struck me down?"
"You fool! Jashin has no need to deal with such petty things, that's what his disciples are for!"
"Oh?" Kakuzu raised an eyebrow but didn't otherwise change his movements. "Then why haven't you smited me?" The posed question stopped Hidan in his tracks. Realizing the shorter man wasn't following him Kakuzu stopped as well, turning to look over his shoulder. Hidan's face was expressionless. "Starting to neglect your holy duties Hidan?"
The sentence made Hidan snap, rage returning to his face he grabbed his three-bladed scythe and swung it at the masked man. Kakuzu had of course anticipated the attack, knowing how temperamental Hidan could be at the slightest provocation. He blocked the blades with a hardened forearm, and used it to throw Hidan backwards onto the ground without any obvious effort.
"Stop being an idiot, we have a mission to fulfill." Kakuzu turned around and continued down the path. It was a few seconds before Hidan picked himself up and dusted off. He followed farther behind Kakuzu now, cursing quietly to himself.
Hidan was never good at giving the silent treatment, and it wasn't long until the pair found themselves on a rocky path with Hidan whining loudly, much to Kakuzu's displeasure.
"I'm starving Kakuzu! When are we going to stop for food?"
"There is a town just down this path we will pick up something there." Hidan grinned, his growling stomach would soon be fed.
Kakuzu hadn't lied about the distance, and soon the two were walking through a small, bustling town. Hidan walked with a bounce in his step, he could smell a mixture of barbecue and ramen in the air. Saliva started pooling in his mouthas he thought of what lunch might be, grilled fish? A noodle dish? Spare ribs? Hidan jolted from his thoughts when he almost bumped into Kakuzu, who had suddenly stopped in front of a kart in the middle of the road.
"Nnn?" Hidan groaned slightly, raising an eyebrow and moving to look around Kakuzu. It was a food cart, and Kakuzu seemed to be buying... pre-made bento boxes? "K-Kakuzu you aren't serious are you?" Hidan grimaced as his partner finished paying the man and grabbed the bag with two small boxes inside. As quickly as the town had sprung up it was left in the dust. Once the traffic on the road had died down Kakuzu reached inside the bag and pulled out one of the bento boxes, which he held out to the now-scowling Jashinist. He ripped of the box's lid and nearly gagged when he saw the contents. The meal consisted of nothing more than plain rice and pickled vegetables.
"Kakuzu this is so... bland"
"You haven't even tried it." Was the man's response. He had opened his own bento and started to eat. Hidan continued to grumble, but resigned himself to the boring bento.
They continued down the road until it became a trail, winding slowly through the trees. The path eventually became a clearing, which edged on a river. Hidan grinned, stripping off his cloak and running to the water. He placed the article of clothing with his scythe on the ground next to him, and plunged his hands into the clear water. As the Jashinist began to wash his face, Kakuzu sat on a nearby rock and started rifling through his briefcase. The two went about their activities in silence for a few minutes, until Hidan thought he heard something. He raised his head and squinted a the forest. "Some sort of animal?" He thought to himself. A moment later he heard a twig snap.
"Kakuzu..." Hidan said in a low tone, hovering his hand over the resting scythe.
"I know."
A split second later a shower of shuriken darted down from the trees. Kakuzu jumped out of the firing line and into the trees, Hidan deflected those aimed at him with an arching swing of his scythe.
"Alright fuckers show yourselves!" Hidan screamed at the trees.
Realizing their surprise attack had failed, 4 shinobi emerged from the trees. Judging by their lack of headbands they were likely missing-nin.
"What do you want?" Kakuzu growled, barely contained anger lacing his voice.
"You are Kakuzu of the Akatsuki." The statement came from a blond-haired man who was presumably the leader of the group. "We are here to take the money collected from your last bounty." Kakuzu made a noise as close to a laugh as he was likely able to produce, and addressed the would-be thieves.
"You do realize that you could have found and killed your own bounty, instead of taking on two S-rank ninja?"
"Tsk. Yes, but we don't actually need to defeat you." The leader stated with a laugh. At that moment Kakuzu felt a presence behind him. Without so much as a flick of the wrist he sent two threads from under his cloak to deal with the threat. In two seconds flat he heard the satisfying poof of a destroyed shadow clone.
"I really hope you have a better strategy than that." Kakuzu mocked. The leader's eyes narrowed, and he looked back at his team before nodding shortly. The onslaught of jutsu was almost immediate. The leader and two others surrounded Kakuzu, who hardened his body to resist the sudden barrage. Hidan only had to face a single ninja, who was doing his best to keep Hidan away from his partner. Knowing the stitched man would be just fine, Hidan focused on the enemy in front of him.
"Stealing money, how utterly blasphemous." He licked his lips. "I'll have to send you to Jashin-sama for punishment!" He let his scythe loose, throwing it at the missing-nin. He dodged, but was nearly caught when Hidan flicked the cord to pull the scythe back in an arch. The enemy ninja was quickly on the defensive, jumping, dodging, and deflecting Hidan's attacks to the best of his ability. The silver haired man cackled, he enjoyed tormenting his prey. The man was weak, and soon enough Hidan drew blood. As the Jashinist prepared to start the ceremony, he stole a quick glance in his partner's direction. What he saw was not what he expected. The stitched man seemed to be struggling, under the constant barrage of attacks from 3 enemies and their shadow clones Kakuzu had been unable to release his masks. Strings shot out in every direction, catching a kunai here, destroying a shadow clone there, and he was obviously having a hard time keeping track of the enemies. Suddenly, Hidan spotted that the original leader had hidden himself in a tree behind the stitched man, and produced a scroll from the pouch on his hip. An uneasy feeling settled itself in the pit if Hidan's stomach.
"Kakuzu!" He called out, dodging an attack aimed at his head. The masked man didn't respond, Hidan was unsure if he hadn't heard, or was just too caught up in the fight to respond. The leader waved some handsigns, and Hidan threw his scythe just in time to block the barrage of weapons that appeared from the smoke. The scythe embedded itself in a tree, and the Jashinist kept one hand on the cord while delivering a roundhouse kick to the face of his own attacker. The leader was not so easily stopped, and soon he produced a second scroll from the same pouch.
"Shit." Hidan cursed under his breath. What the hell was Kakuzu doing? He stole another glance at his partner. Things were only getting worse, they had somehow managed to immobilize his body and he was only able to stop attacks thanks to the use of his strings.
The missing nin's leader was making hand signs again, Kakuzu showed no signs of recognizing the threat, and Hidan new he had a split second to decide what to do. With a sharp intake of breath Hidan switched his scythe's cord to retract, and let it pull him across the clearing in less than a second, scraping to a halt behind his partner just as a cloud of smoke appeared from the scroll.
Hidan was the slowest member of the Akatsuki, and he wondered briefly if someone else could have handled this better as a pike stabbed into his back.
"Grk!" The sound tore out of the silver-haired man's throat, the impact of the weapon causing him to stumble into Kakuzu's back. "D-damnit! Ah.. AUGH!" The pike wasn't stopping, something was pushing it into him. It pressed and cracked his ribs, and slowly drilled it's way into his heart. Blood gurgled up the Jashinist's throat, and was unceremoniously coughed up onto the back of Kakuzu's robe. It still didn't stop, and Hidan realized with start that it would go right through him and hit the stitched man regardless. He made a face as the pike started to break through the front of his chest, more blood making it's way up his throat and dribbling down his chin.
"RrrrrrrraaaaAAAAUUUUGH!" In a miraculous feat, Hidan threw out his hand as the pike passed through his body, and caught it just as the tip poked a hole in his partners cloak. His arm shook with the effort of holding the blood-slicked weapon his place. "Hhh... Gah!.. Th-thank Jashin." He whispered as his vision began to swim. The whole ordeal had taken only a few seconds, and Kakuzu finally seemed to understand what was going on.
"Hidan!"
"Is that... concern in his voice?" The Jashinist wondered bemusedly as his consciousness started to fade. The support of the masked man's back was suddenly gone, and Hidan collapsed into a puddle of his own blood. He vaguely heard the sound of destroyed shadow clones before fading into unconsciousness.
A/N: There will be either one or two chapters after this depending on what balances better. Please review.