A/N: 'Once Upon A Time' was always meant to be a one-shot. I was thinking about the reincarnation idea, and how Kikyo might have seen it. I also wanted to experiment with different manners of comparison, using a mirror. Kagome and Kikyo look similar and—if you really think about it—act similarly, too. The difference lies in upbringing and time period. We are all products of our times. The reincarnation conundrum is fascinating in the sense that you can use it to argue and model nature vs. nurture. It is endlessly naive of Kikyo to believe that wishing for anything but the destruction of the jewel can be selfless, and it is also endlessly naive of Kagome to believe that Inuyasha can let go of his past love when he was frozen in time, the wound was fresh, and Kikyo has essentially been resurrected. I see them both as foolish, but they are also victims of circumstance.
But that one-shot made me think a bit further, and this is the product.
- oOo -
I: Guardian of the Jewel
i. Once
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young woman who fell in love with a handsome young prince. And he swept her off her feet and took her to live in his castle in the sky, because she was beautiful and he was handsome and that is what fairy tales are made of.
[But she was not a woman, not really, no, for she was never allowed to be; he was not a prince, no, not in any true sense of the word—and they are not a fairy tale.]
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young priestess with silky, straight black hair and warm brown eyes. And she was the endlessly powerful guardian of the legendary Shikon jewel—and she was as cold as ice because she needed to be, as ruthless and sharp as the angular features of her face. And powerful, untouchable priestesses who guard legendary objects who fall in love can only be met with tragedy.
Once upon a time, in a faraway place there was a half-demon born of desperate infatuation, a product of the sharp thrill of the forbidden underneath the dark, star-filled sky. And though this half-demon was of noble blood, he was rejected by humans and demons alike; one foot in one world and one in the other, the half-demon was forever unable to reconcile the two. Desperate to anchor himself, to end the journey between worlds and finally live in one, the half-demon searched and searched for answers.
He found the jewel and its unattainable guardian, and found himself desiring both.
(Kikyo notched her arrow fluidly, aiming with uncaring eyes. "Die, Inuyasha.")
ii. Jewel
She could not kill him for the same reason he could not kill her.
He was handsome and forbidden and alone. She was beautiful and tragic and alone.
In the end, they were just two lonely souls with big dreams and little hope, like stars in the night sky reaching for a sun they will never see. At dawn, they saw each other and leaped—only to be extinguished in the light of day. But in that moment it was warmer, and when they clutched that soothing warmth tightly enough to their chests to breathe it in and pretended they weren't constantly looking over their shoulders, they could almost call it love.
And in the end, the jewel that brought them together would ultimately tear them apart, because love is not the product of distrust, fear and cursed jewels.
iii. Death
In life, she was a kind and caring priestess, if somewhat reserved and calculating. Her bitterness was in its infancy, the bile in her throat just beginning to form.
Death does not change her as the stories say.
She is a kind and caring priestess still, though more reserved and more calculating. Her bitterness has grown with wisdom, and though her clay body cannot taste bile she knows it is there. In death, she is Kikyo without the mask of warmth, and she longs for it as much as she hates it; life was as burdensome as death, just in different ways. Once, she had depended on no one, could depend on no one. Now she depends on her soul collectors and the souls of maidens.
In life she had been a legend. Dying, she had been a tragedy. Now, in death, she is more bound to duty than ever, and she is a mere ghost.
In death, she does not choose Inuyasha.
She hadn't in life, either. Not really.
II: Detector of the Shards
i. Once
Once upon a dream, she had been a beautiful, untouchable priestess with the eternal love of a powerful half-demon. Bound by duty, the priestess had sought an end to the legendary jewel she had guarded, and the half-demon had promised to become human to be with her. Alas, 'twas not to be, for a terrible and lustful demon born of a human bandit and myriad low-level demons tricked the star-crossed lovers into betraying each other. The priestess sealed the half-demon, pinning him to a tree before dying from a mortal wound to the shoulder, burning the cursed bauble with her body.
That was she in another life, they all insisted. That was she a long, long time ago in a dream that she'd never had.
Now Kagome looks at her shadow from over her shoulder and wonders if it is even hers—if it is not merely the lingering presence of the priestess, a relic of a woman so powerful she continues to influence the lives of all those around her. And when Kikyo returns to the land of the living, Kagome begins to avoid looking at water. She covers the mirror in the bathroom at home.
When Inuyasha looks at her, Kagome knows he is seeing Kikyo. But she doesn't blame him. Sometimes when Kagome chances a glimpse in the river, she sees Kikyo too.
(Once upon a time, there was a time traveler who fell in love with a half-demon in a land 500 years before her own. And he was caught up in a betrayal that had happened over 50 years ago with the girl's past life, who looked so similar to the time traveler they might as well have been twins. The heroine was beaten by a dead girl. The end, Kagome thinks dourly.
It doesn't make for that great of a fairy tale—it's more like some wonky sci-fi/fantasy hybrid made for bored teenagers with too much time and money on their hands.)
ii. Jewel
She doesn't leave for the same reason he doesn't want her to.
Kagome broke the jewel. She will fix the jewel. It is her duty as a good person (as a good priestess) and she will not fail the world twice. Kagome, mysterious girl from the future with her odd clothing and odd traveling companions and odd possessions traverses Japan with a smile on her face, determined to do good and make the world a better place.
Slowly, her path converges with the priestess's. The jewel becomes her duty, and demons flock to her for it. She learns to wield the bow, though progress is slow in coming, and she becomes the 'shard detector'.
She convinces herself that Inuyasha does not hold any sway over her and watches quietly as he returns to Kikyo over and over, his eyes glazed over and mind stranded in the past. Kagome's eyes avert as she looks into Kikyo's eyes and thinks she sees the longing there, the desire to feel and return his feelings. Sometimes Kagome thinks that Inuyasha, too, has become a ghost.
But none of that matters, because while Naraku is alive others will suffer the same. And that thought is enough to ground her again, drawing her thoughts away from her own unrequited feelings.
(Kagome gently places the necklace with the jewel shards upon her neck, and watches silently as it digs into her skin like thorns.)
iii. Death
Kagome had always known that it was a possibility that she might not survive the hunt for Naraku. It's not something she likes to think about, but it is what it is. She had dreamt about it often enough, the possibilities becoming more and more creative as she grew more accustomed to the Feudal Era.
Sometimes Kikyo shoots her, wanting the rest of her soul back. Sometimes she is accidentally dragged into Miroku's wind tunnel. Sometimes it's Sesshomaru who kills her, seeking revenge for giving Inuyasha the Tessaiga. More often than not, however, it is Naraku who kills her, or one of his incarnations.
Kagome had always known she might not survive the hunt for Naraku, much less survive the final battle.
But she had always imagined dying in battle.
Naraku may be dead, and she may be stuck in her time, but his miasma is more than enough to remind her of the past and the future it will take away from her.
Cancer, the doctor tells her. Terminal lung cancer.
III: Coda
They say that once upon a time, there was a powerful young priestess who guarded the legendary Shikon jewel. So beautiful was she that even a brash half-demon in pursuit of the jewel's power was quickly dissuaded from taking it. So compassionate was she that she fell in love with the half-demon, and he in turn loved her. But it was not to be, for they were of different worlds. They betrayed each other, for their love was too delicate and their time too violent.
They do not know that the priestess had only wished to be free of her burden. They do not say that the half-demon was a child who had become lost in a world that did not want him. They do not speak of the nights Kikyo spent watching over Inuyasha on the night of the new moon, or of the nights he watched over her when she was injured.
They do not tell of the doubt the two felt, nor the fear of the future.
Naraku does not enter the narrative. Kagome's story is washed away. Kikyo is never resurrected.
("Hey, mama, what's this?" A small hand reaches for a silver key chain, poking at it.
"Oh, it's just a souvenir from a shrine. Nothing special.")
Not certain about that ending, but this isn't meant to be too long and I've dragged it on too far as it is. Can I even pass it off as a collection of connected drabbles? Eh.
Hope you enjoyed reading, at least. Send a review if you'd like—it's nice to hear other people's opinions of my work.