If Lily's is completely honest, it's late at night, when the cold sets in and she can feel her body shivering when everything hurts.
On the field, when she has any go the [others by her side, and the adrenaline kicks in she runs hot, hotter than ever before (the kind of hot the Petunia only wished she could inspire).
Her lips burn with the touch of curses that don't leave them, curses which resound through her mind, drawing, etching, carving their names into her heart and soul. Her hair singes with the heat around her, the curses tossed back and forth, the frantic move move move someone yells, someone whispers as she's told to move (out of curses, out of sight, away from this).
She burns up, brighter than the sun (and sometimes, with a sort of selfish, a sort of wicked smile on her face, she thinks herself bright - only for a moment, in the heat of a battle, but the moment counts, because it existed). And like he sun it takes ages for her to truly burn out.
And yet late at night, her blood runs cold, for she thinks of the men and women who do not return to their own homes late at night, like she does, like James does creeping in through the front door in the early moments of the morning. Some of them don't return because of her.
And so her blood runs cold and her bones are icy and she turns to James, huddles to him for warmth, cuddles and strokes his hair and whispers, constantly whispers to him.
Some nights they're too tired to do anything but sleep. Some nights they kiss and strip, like they did the very first night of this union. Some nights they stay up talking, like now.
"James," Lily murmurs, her voice deep, matching her heart. "James."
And her heart is breaking just like her voice and he turns around and strokes her face with his thumb. "What is it?"
"What if - what if we're just as bad?" Lily's eyes fill with tears.
"Just as bad?" James frowns, his vision no doubt blurry, as his glasses lie on his bedside table.
"What if we're just like them," Lily says, only it's more of a sob, a heart broken, heart breaking sob.
"Lily," and James wraps his arms around her and she rests her head on his chest and they hold each other safe and warm, they hold each other together because this is what has been on everyone's minds since day one.
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