A/N Hello beautiful people from the internet! So, first story with this account, yay! Before you start with this fic, I´d like you to please read the following as I want to clear up some things:
-This is a Gwaion fic (Gwaine and Leon), I know it´s not very common because a lot of people don´t ship it, but when they appeared together in season 3, my heart melted and I knew I had to ship it
-This fic takes place around season 4, when Arthur is king.
-Merthur is canon. At the beginning, it wasn´t going to be like this, but I changed my mind for multiple reasons.
-This fic is not going to be very long, maybe 7 or 8 chapters
-I WILL try to upload quickly, I promise.
-English is not my first language. You may find some mistakes and please know that my English is not perfect.
Thank you for paying attention to that, happy reading and please tell me what you think about it!
TheLoner7
Words without A/N: 1354
I would die for you
1. In my mind
''He flooded my thoughts everyday and I didn´t know how to swim. But that was okay'' Anonymous.
King Arthur, his servant and four of his most loyal knights were heading to the frontiers of Camelot due to a very secret mission. Arthur and Merlin were the only ones who knew where they were going and wanted to keep it secret for a while because of all the rumors about a spy in Camelot. The king had said that this was a very serious and dangerous mission, that if they accepted to go, they had to blindly trust him for a while. The knights had accepted and everything was as normal as usual: Elyan and Percival were having a private conversation, Gwaine couldn´t keep his mouth shut and Leon was just riding his horse with a serious expression on his face.
''I wonder what´s going on with Sir Leon.'' Merlin whispered to Arthur.
''He´s alright, I think.'' The king said.
''He is concerned about something and far more serious than usual.''
''Then why don´t you ask him, Merlin?''
''Do you think he's worried about the mission, I mean, we´re the only ones who know about it.''
''Merlin, I told you I wanted to talk to everyone about the mission at night. I want to be as far as away as I can from Camelot before thinking about the mission.''
''Are you paranoid about the spy?''
''Shut up, Merlin!'' Arthur snapped. Merlin giggled and the other man couldn´t hide his smile, it had been such a stupid comment.
''Why so worried, Leon?'' Gwaine asked, as if he had been concerned about the knight too.
''Is everything alright back there?'' Arthur asked as everyone turned their eyes to Leon.
''I was a little worried about something.'' Leon said. ''Sire, I was thinking that we should know about the mission. To be honest, we have never questioned your decisions and we would gladly give our lives for you. You said it was dangerous and I think we should be prepared.''
''You´re right.'' Arthur said. ''I´m sorry, I will tell you tonight when we find a good place to rest.
After a couple of hours, they finally found a place that looked safe and they set the camp as Merlin started cooking. The knights tried to look calm, as they wanted the king to trust them. They sat down in a circle and waited till their leader decided to speak.
''Listen here, I´m sorry for worrying you,'' Arthur started. ''we all know the rumors about the spy in Camelot and I have to admit that I was concerned about it. There is a slave trader near the frontiers of Camelot, who may be working for Morgana, our mission is to find him and everyone who works for him so we can stop them.''
''Well, the mission itself is not that dangerous, but the places are. And there is always the risk to encounter Morgana.'' Sir Percival said.
''Right, I hope you can understand and I am grateful for your support.''
''We understand completely, sire.'' Leon said. ''Of course, the safety of Camelot is your priority and we are the ones who should think about your comfort. About the spy, I had my worries too and asked the best knights who stayed to look for him or her and talk to anyone who seems suspicious.''
''Good job and thank you, Leon.'' Arthur said. Everyone remained silent after Leon´s comment, no one could think of something better to say. The knight had always been like that, a leader: he always knew how to act and guide people with trust. Nobody wanted to admit it, but every knight of Camelot admired him, especially one that was right there, sitting next to him.
They ate, talked for a bit and then went to sleep; Merlin was going to take first watch. As always, the first hour was calm and boring. Merlin saw that the knights were peacefully resting and that there was no danger around. He sat down near Arthur and considered sleeping due to the lack of danger, but then he realized that something was wrong: Gwaine wasn´t snoring. Gwaine really knew how to snore and it made Merlin wonder about whether or not the knight was asleep. He stared at him for a minute or two.
''Do you always stare at sleeping people in your free time?'' Gwaine asked, surprising Merlin.
''I… I´m sorry, Gwaine... I wasn´t sure…''
''Hey, it´s okay, I was just thinking.''
''Are you worried about the mission?'' Merlin asked as Gwaine sat down next to him.
''Not at all.'' He answered with a little smile.
''And what were you thinking about?'' Merlin said. Gwaine didn´t answer, he just hid his face shyly, unlike him. ''Gwaine?''
''Okay, Merlin, I´ll tell you… I was thinking about someone.''
''Oh, someone… who is it?''
''I´m sorry, Merlin, I can´t tell you now, not until I´m sure about the whole thing.''
''So, you´re not together?''
''Not really. I´m not as lucky as you and Arthur.''
''How did you…?'' Merlin asked, impressed. ''Is it really that obvious?''
''Just a little.'' Gwaine laughed. ''You just have to see the way you look at each other, not a mystery at all.''
''Will you please…?''
''Of course, Merlin, I won´t tell anyone.''
''Thank you.'' The servant answered with relief. ''It´s just that it´s hard: king and servant, man and man.''
''I understand, well, at least the man and man part.''
''Oh, okay.'' Merlin said, glad that Arthur and him were not the only ones with that kind of orientation. ''And for how long have you been in love with this man you don´t want to tell me about?''
''For a little while now,'' Gwaine said. ''I´m not sure, feeling like this is very, very confusing. But I´d do anything for him, of that I´m sure.''
''Why don´t you tell him? You´re Sir Gwaine, after all, the most desirable knight of Camelot.''
''He doesn´t think like that.'' Gwaine said with a sad smile. ''I don´t know, Merlin, maybe it´s just not meant to happen.''
''But you love him.''
''I´m almost sure I do, but the thought of being loved back seems almost impossible.''
''Why?'' Merlin asked to cheer up his friend. ''I thought the same, but, in the end, everything went well.''
''Because you´re Arthur and Merlin, and I´m just Gwaine: an idiot who can´t do things well.''
''Are you joking? You saved our lives without even knowing us, you aided me to help Arthur with his mission, you are a very important knight and you have saved our lives on countless occasions. Right, just another idiot.'' Merlin said, but Gwaine didn´t reply. ''You really think that about yourself? Does he make you feel that?''
''Not at all.'' Gwaine said, finally. ''It´s myself. It´s just that, for the first time in my life, I don´t feel good enough.''
''Look, I know what it is like to feel worthless, but Arthur mends that and that´s just what you need: someone who can fix you.''
''He fixes me, believe me, he does… but, sometimes, people are so warm-hearted that that they don´t take responsibility of other people´s happiness.''
''Then, fix him as well. Make him happy, it will bring you peace and he might end up falling for you.''
Gwaine remained silent for a little while. Merlin was getting nervous because probably he had said something inappropriate. The knight spoke: ''Arthur is right: you are so wise sometimes, Merlin. Thank you, I´ll think about that… now, get some sleep, you look tired and I can´t sleep anyways.''
''Are you sure?'' Merlin asked and Gwaine nodded. ''Thank you and good luck.''
Merlin laid down near Arthur and closed his eyes; he was asleep in a couple of minutes. Gwaine just stayed there, thinking about the man who had stolen his heart without knowing. He was awake for hours, with the man who had changed his life flooding his mind. ''Stupid, why did you have to fall?'' Gwaine complained. After a few minutes, he whispered the man´s name and remained quiet for the rest of the night.
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