Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People is the Property of the CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

xxx TTP xxx

The small group - John, Cara, Stephen and Morgan - entered TIM's room. John walked over and stretched out on the couch. Cara followed him to the couch and sat on the edge, while Stephen and Morgan decided to stand.

"For this to work, you have to let me in," Cara told John.

"I know how this works," John stated simply.

Cara hesitantly placed her fingers on both sides of his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep cleansing breath, preparing to let her in. Cara steeled herself then closed her eyes as she slowly, cautiously entered John's memories. The onslaught of memories and emotions made it difficult for her to keep the connection, but she needed to find out the location of the butcher shop. She attempted to sort through the memories to find it.

There was John scared on the ground, while his foster father kicked and beat him. Then suddenly it stopped and there was blood coming from the man's chest. John wasn't sure what had happened until he looked up and saw Jedikiah with the gun. There it was … the first sense of gratitude ... Jedikiah had saved his life. She had to move on.

Now there was an older man standing in front of a newsstand while two men in suits approached with guns. Jedikiah and a young John were sitting in a car watching what was about to take place. John panicked and tried to yell out to him ... Tony. He cared about this man, he was a friend and John had to do something to stop what was about to happen. He tried to warn him, but a hand covered his mouth. Then the shots rang out and it was too late. He couldn't stop it. John turned to Jedikiah. There was anger then it turned to sad gratitude again. Gratitude? Cara shook her head, she had to find the information they needed.

This time it was John from just a few years ago. He was cold, shivering. He was strapped to a chair in some type of containment room, like a large walk-in freezer. Suddenly there was a shock to his body, she saw some blue liquid flowing into his arm. He started to shake. There was pain, an intense pain in his head, but he pushed through it. The neural stripping, this must be it. The pain he endured ... oh, god. It was almost too much for her to bear, fighting hard she quickly replaced it with another memory.

Ah, this might be it. There's the 12-year-old John with Jedikiah walking to a building ... a butcher shop. Okay, this is it. Street signs, where are they ... they should be ... ah, there they are.

"Broadway and Bedford, Brooklyn," Cara announced to the room. Stephen vanished and Morgan returned to the common area.

"No more secrets," John said as he grasped Cara's hand.

"Are you okay?" Cara asked.

"Are you?" John replied, noticing her tough facade beginning to break.

"John ... I knew it was bad, but ...," she wasn't sure how to continue. "I am starting to understand the hold Jedikiah has ... had on you."

"It's complicated," John stated.

"Yes, very," Cara replied solemnly. "Of what you've been through, one thing I didn't understand ..." She hesitated again, not sure if she should bring it up.

"What is it?" John encouraged her to continue. "No more secrets, Cara. I can handle it."

"Tony, when your friend was gunned down ..." tears threatened to fall, but she fought them back. "You were angry at Jedikiah and then there was gratitude? It was a brief moment before I pushed on. What happened?"

John looked down and took a moment. "Ah, well, I was very angry that Jedikiah had killed my friend. When I turned to him, he said that those above him wanted that for me." He paused to digest that once again. "He stopped them ... he saved my life .. again.

"I don't know if I'll ever understand it ... or him, but when I was growing up, he was there for me, protected me."

"John, can you share one more memory with me?" Her curiosity was getting the better of her.

He looked at her suspiciously, then asked "Which one?"

Cara quietly requested, "I'd like to see what happened with Roger."

"Are you sure?" He wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"I think so ... it will help me understand how it could happen." She pleaded with him.

"It's the lowest point in my life. I'm not proud of it," He looked away from her again and considered it for a couple of minutes. "If you're sure you want to know ..."

"Yes."

"Okay," He closed his eyes and searched for those memories. This time he placed his hand on her shoulder and let the memories go, slowly opening them up to her.

Closing her eyes, Cara accepted it. There was John in what appeared to be an abandoned room. Jedikiah had just handed him an envelope. She felt John's shock as he looked at his next assignment. Then his trust in what Jedikiah told him about why it had to be done. Also there was eagerness, John wanting to prove to Jediikiah that he was a good, loyal agent and could do what was asked.

Next she was in a dark alleyway. John found Roger after he had teleported to safety. She felt his hesitation and inner turmoil as he stood there face-to-face with a man he considered to be a friend, who believed in him, and now he was pointing a gun at him. She felt his struggle to do the right thing, but not knowing what it was at that moment. Finally, almost accidentally, pulling the trigger. His immediate shock and regret at the act. John running over to Roger, kneeling down and apologizing. Now it was clear what the right thing was, but it was too late. He couldn't stop Roger from dying. She felt John's despair then a glimmer of hope as Roger pleaded with him to protect them ... the Tomorrow People.

A tear glided down her cheek as she opened her eyes and looked at John. He hadn't opened his eyes yet, still reliving the memory. It was an impossible situation ... driven to follow orders, finish his assignment as the agent he had been. Then his world was torn apart by guilt and another deeper pain he wasn't quite sure what it was. That pain scarred his soul. He rolled away from Cara, unable to look at her. The pain and shame overwhelming him.

Cara leaned over to him. "John, you were young and confused, being pulled in two different directions. It was an impossible situation." She rested her head on his shoulder. "The important thing to remember is what you've done since that fateful night. You have kept your promise to Roger."

He turned his head toward her, she looked up at him and he saw her sincerity. Then he put his arms around her and embraced her. They stayed there awhile just holding each other. She offering comfort, he accepting it.

Having seen and felt what John had been through, gave Cara a new respect for this man, the quiet leader.