Authors Note: Inspired by the Taylor Swift song of the same name, canon up to 4x13 Diva but set quite some time after that point.
For readers of The Reluctant Cheerio, I'm having a bit of writers block with that story so I thought working on something else for a little while might help. I'm not giving up on TRC until its done.
The bottle crashed down onto the table and Santana couldn't help but cringe at the sudden gunshot sound. She wasn't drunk enough yet to be oblivious to such events, in fact that had been her first mouthful of liquor and instead of soothing her it had just made the gut twisting feeling in her stomach even worse. Her eyes land on the invite lying on the table next to the bottle and a fresh wave of nausea washes over her.
She had two hours, she figured, to make a decision. After that she wouldn't have time for check in, a two hour flight and a two hour drive plus rent a car and the inevitable delays that always occur when someone is travelling to a deadline. Two hours and a bottle of Jack Daniels to make the decisions she had been putting off for months, ever since she'd received the invitation. She lifts the bottle to her lips but even just the scent makes her stomach churn so she screws the top back on before tossing the bottle in the nearby trash can.
She hadn't been surprised when she received the invite, she hadn't been sad or angry, happy or confused. She'd just been numb. She'd gone through the next week an autopilot and even the most unobservant of her acquaintances her commented on it.
Only once though, they never made that mistake again.
She'd pushed the invite aside trying to ignore it and hoping it would go away but of course it didn't. She hadn't replied but she'd received a text a couple of weeks ago telling her they would keep a space for her if she decided to come. That's when the numbness left her and that night she eventually fell asleep exhausted from all the tears.
Rachel and Kurt had very quickly realised they shouldn't talk about it when she was around and so at least home was a retreat but they had left yesterday after discreetly making their arrangements. They hadn't asked her if she was going, hadn't asked if she wanted to travel with them, hadn't said anything near her about what they'd be doing over the next couple of days but she knew anyway, the invite told her that.
The day before Rachel had left, Santana had repeatedly found the girl's large dark eyes turned towards her and filled with pity and the Latina knew Rachel wanted to talk about it. She just shook her head and walked away. She couldn't deal with it two days ago and now she had one hour and fifty minutes.
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Here to the airport, New York to Columbus, Columbus to Lima, to the church that she knew from her childhood. Call it six hours to be safe, but the flight list Rachel or Kurt had printed out and left on the table told her she'd have to be on the 8:30 flight, the next one at 10:50 would cut things too close.
Santana fingers the invitation lying on the table.
Mr and Mrs Pierce
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Brittany Susan
To
Mr Samuel Evans
In the end the choice was predictable, she was going to go. Whether it was just to witness the event or to stop it she didn't know yet but she could decide that later, right now she had no time. She went to her room to pack a few things and found her case already packed with a note from Rachel saying "Just in case". She had been so oblivious the last few days that she hadn't even noticed it.
There was an anxious few minutes on the sidewalk looking for a cab, but one finally responded to her desperate wave and took her to the airport. And that's where her luck left her. The ticket desk said that both of the flights were full, they could put her on standby but there was no guarantee she'd get to fly. No amount of pleading or begging could find her a spot and so she took the standby and retreated to the sidewalk to try and calm herself with a cigarette. She watches idly as a large limo slowly cruses past apparently on the way to the private jets. But then the limo stops suddenly and backs up to stand before her, the rear door opening.
"Santana?"
"Mercedes?" Santana asked in surprise, "Damn 'Cedes, I heard you were doing well but this…"
Mercedes just shrugs, "It's borrowed." She looks at the Latina for a long moment then asks, "You're going then?"
Santana shrugs, "Maybe, I can only get a standby ticket."
Mercedes watches the other girl for a moment, "To witness it or…" she trails off.
Santana shrugs again but this time doesn't say anything.
"Okay. You can come with me, I've got a jet waiting." When Santana's jaw drops Mercedes just chuckles, "It's borrowed too."
Santana doesn't complain, she climbs in to the limo and within minutes they are at the private jet and waiting for clearance to take off.
"How the hell…?" Santana asks.
This time its Mercedes turn to shrug, "They wanted me in New York so badly last night that they arranged all this. I think I could get used to it."
They chat for most of the flight, remembering old times and catching up on new events, but Santana falls quiet when the pilot announces that they are ten minutes out of Columbus. They land without incident and Santana finds there is another limo waiting for Mercedes, she just follows the other girl in and then they are off. Mercedes asked if there was anywhere they could drop Santana, but she decided that she might as well stay at the same hotel as Mercedes, she knew her parents would have let her stay but she couldn't stand the inevitable pity from them.
She's sitting in her room still trying to decide what she was going to do when the door knocks and Mercedes comes in.
"Are you going to see her before the ceremony?" Mercedes asks.
"I haven't decided…" Santana says dropping her head to her hands.
Mercedes just nods, "The car is outside waiting if you want it, otherwise we'll be leaving just after two."
With that Mercedes leaves and closes the door behind her and Santana rushes to the en suite to empty her stomach.
In the end she goes to the church with Mercedes simply because she still hasn't made up her mind. No one stops her when she goes in and she avoids making eye contact with anyone she might know, she doesn't want to get into a conversation with anyone.
She passes a slightly open door and glances inside to see Brittany in her wedding dress and Santana has to admit that she looks beautiful. She makes for the door, reaching out to push it open just as someone one the other side pushes it closed, so she drops her hand, takes a calming breath and turns to walk into the sanctuary. She sits at the back, far enough from the door that people won't want to stop and talk to her but close enough that she can intimidate anyone that wants to sit between her and the aisle with one of her legendary glares. A guy in the row in front of her turns and says hello but she just glares at him and he swallows and turns away.
Santana looks about the sanctuary and spots a number of past and present glee club members scattered around the room. Rachel's up at the front near a mic and it looks like she's been asked, or maybe volunteered, to sing at the wedding. She spots Puck sitting next to Quinn who, she notes with a little surprise, has Beth on her lap and Finn is on the other side of the room and looks like he's making moon eyes at Rachel who seems to be pointedly ignoring him.
At that moment Rachel looks up and her eyes lock with Santana's, she surprised for a second and then her expression turns questioning. Santana just shrugs, she still doesn't know why she's here herself, and Rachel gives her a little smile.
It seems things are getting ready to start now because Sam is standing before the alter and Santana can't help the scowl that crosses her face but she masks it quickly. The door beside her slides open and the band strikes up, Rachel starts singing what is probably a love song or something but it sounds like a funeral dirge to Santana. The flower girl, ring boy and bridesmaids all file down the aisle and finally Brittany enters.
Brittany doesn't turn to see Santana so all the Latina can see is a side and then back view but even with just that Santana can tell the dancer is even more beautiful than she ever imagined. The dress is white, strapless and flowing, topped off with a long train, light blue sash around her waist and a white veil. The sight literally takes Santana's breath away.
She's so entranced that it takes her a while to realise that Brittany has made it to the alter and the minister has started speaking. Santana feels frozen, like a deer in headlights, and she feels the seconds left to her counting down with each thump of her heart and suddenly everything snaps back to crystal clear and she hears the minister's words.
"Speak now or forever hold your peace."
There are a few moments of silence, no one wants to be the one to make a noise right now even if the instruction is just traditional and before conscious thought has caught up with her actions Santana has risen to her feet and her voice, strong and confident, rings through the church.
"I object."
Before her voice has finished echoing around the room everyone has turned to see who was objecting but she doesn't notice their examination because her eyes are locked onto Brittany's and she watches as she watches the dancers face. Surprise, confusion, worry, happiness and many others emotions flit across her features and she takes a step towards the Latina but the moment is broken by Sam's voice and two ushers head down the aisle towards her.
"Stop!" Brittany demands but they don't listen.
But before they can reach her, Puck and Finn have surprisingly stepped into the aisle and blocked their path. One tries to push Puck out of the way which turns out to be a bad choice while the other, much smaller then Finn, just steps back with his hands up.
"What do you want Santana?" Sam's voice echoes through the room, but when Santana speaks, it's directed to Brittany.
"I need to talk to you Britt"
"No!"
Santana glares at Sam, because it is him that answered before Brittany could even open her mouth and the Latina can see Brittany glaring at him too.
"You're not even married to her yet and you're already telling her who she can and can't talk to?" Santana challenges him.
He doesn't respond but Brittany is already walking back up the aisle, avoiding the tussle between Puck and the usher on the way, and tilts her head in a "follow me" gesture as she passes Santana. They both head out the door and into the room Brittany was in earlier. The dancer turns at looks at Santana expectantly.
"Well?"
Santana takes a deep breath, "You can't do this Britt, he's not right for you."
"He's kind, he's caring, he's never called me dumb or stupid, he loves doing the things I love doing, he was there during the hard times and during the good, he doesn't have any problem walking down the street holding my hand and he loves me. How can he not be right for me?" Brittany demands.
"He's not me." Santana hadn't meant to say it but it slipped out automatically.
"You walked away from me Santana, do you remember? You sang me that song and then you broke my heart. What was I supposed to do, wait forever till you got your head straight?"
"It was a mistake" Santana says weakly, "I shouldn't have done it I know, but I'm here now…"
"Now! You had to wait until my wedding day! Couldn't you have come a week ago? A month ago? We sent those invites out ages ago and you could have come or called any time since."
Brittany is watching Santana closely but the Latina isn't sure what she's looking for.
"Why did you wait Santana" the blonde asks, "Why now?"
Santana is looking at her hands, unable to meet Brittany's eyes.
"You are still on the fence" Brittany surmises, "Only acting when you're forced to." She sighs, "Nothing has changed."
"No!" Santana almost shouts, she takes a breath and lowers her voice, "I'm gay I know that and I love you, I always have loved you I know that too and I don't care who else knows." She pauses for breath, "But I thought if you were happy" she shakes her head, "it wouldn't be my place to interfere."
"But you did." Brittany prompts softly.
"Because I do love you and I can't watch you go through with this, even if it is horrible and selfish of me."
Brittany just looks at the other girl for a while, her eyes kind and her expressions soft as she asks "What do you want Santana?"
"You. Us." the Latina answers immediately, "together every day, side by side for the rest of our lives. I want us, I need us. The rest of my life will be miserable if I let you slip away, I know that now."
Brittany nods and turns her back to Santana, "Unzip me San, I need to change so we can catch our plane."
"Our plane?" Santana asks as she unzips the dress.
"I have a honeymoon booked. We might as well make good use of it."
And they do.