Hey everyone~!
I wrote this fic mainly out of boredom, and because I felt like it.I don't know why, I don't really write angsty things all that often.
It's not much, but I still hope you enjoy reading it. c:
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All the things that happened to me up until now…´
Is this what I deserve?
I've been manipulated, hurt, betrayed, used, forced to do things I didn't want to do…
And as if it wasn't enough, the only person I ever truly loved rejected me.
Without even trying to be nice.
I'm broken, lying on my bedroom floor, unable to get up.
Do you remember?
The day I couldn't hold it in anymore, and told you my honest feelings.
The day when everything fell apart for me.
„Ne, Mikado, I think I have something I need to tell you," I started. My hands were shaking. So unlike me. Do you even realize? All the things you make me feel…
„What is it, Masaomi?" you looked at me with those beautiful blue orbs of yours, a curious look on your face.
Your eyes… why are they so wonderful?
Why are you so wonderful?
I started getting nervous, but after a few minutes, I finally managed to somehow spit it out.
All those things are so unlike me, and it's all your fault.
You seemed shocked.
Well, that was to be expected. When your best friend suddenly tells you he loves you...
I didn't think you could ever love me back.
And I was right.
What happened next didn't last even half an hour, but it changed my whole life.
All those things you called me that day, I remember them even now.
It's not like I could ever forget anything about what happened on that day.
I could no longer collect all the shattered pieces of my world, like I did it before.
From then on, the world did no longer mean anything to me.
You stopped talking to me completely.
Hell, if only that, you didn't even glance at me once.
I apologized.
Many times.
But you always acted as if I wasn't there.
Is it really that bad of a thing, that I fell in love with you?
I lie here, on my bedroom floor, unable to get up, panting heavily.
I need to last a little while longer.
My head is spinning, whole body is shaking and I can hardly even see anymore.
Tears are falling down my pale cheeks, and I would wipe them off, only I honestly can't.
I need to concentrate on this.
It kind of hurts to think that I will never see you anymore, but you will probably be happier this way.
I'm doing this all for you, darling.
Just you.
I look towards the now empty bottle that's lying next to me, and I smile.
This is what I chose.
This is what I want.
I love you, Mikado.
I never stopped loving you.
And I never will.
I'm sorry.
-Kida Masaomi
The raven looks at the messily written letter once more, before sighing lightly and ripping it apart into small pieces, which now fall to the ground like little snowflakes.
„That's the letter that was addressed to you, am I right?" he turns towards the voice and nods.
„Yes."
„Was there anything important in it? Did he tell you why he did it? I didn't read it, though I should have, in case it was something really personal," the investigator says then.
He looks straight into the man's eyes.
„No, it was nothing important. And no, he didn't say anything about that either, I'm sorry. May I leave now?"
The investigator nods, and the boy moves towards the door and walks out, closing it behind himself.
He left it all behind.