Chapter 1: A hard day's night
The next day Cristina didn't wake up. The reason was that she had never gone to sleep. The reason that she had never gone to sleep was Meredith's snoring. This had not been a problem before because Cristina usually fell asleep before Meredith whenever she came over, but now she was actually exposed to it she found it annoying. Derek's earplugs were on the nightstand next to the baby monitor, but Cristina would rather lie awake than come in contact with his ear mucus. Derek cooties: gross. Around 3 a.m. she had heard Jackson and Lexie come home and turn in. Two hours later a heavy rain had started to fall and it almost muffled Meredith's persistent snore, so Cristina had hoped that she would catch a little sleep then. Unfortunately, it took at the same time years and decades and eras before it was seven o'clock and on the other hand it felt like three seconds and she lay awake the entire time. Anyway, Zola had started making noises signalling that she was awake and Meredith looked like she was in a coma, so Cristina dragged herself out of bed.
She changed Zola's diaper, which was less revolting than she would have thought. Then again she hadn't pooped. The whole thing was pretty self-explanatory. Which flap went where and so on; it wasn't heart surgery or anything. Zola was making happy, bubbly noises and so far she proved to be an easy going baby. Cristina quickly knocked the wood of the doorway before she would jinx it. Brushing past Lexie, who was bleary-eyed and on the way to the bathroom, Cristina took Zola downstairs. In the living room, she halted momentarily unsure of what came next. She felt hung over, despite not drinking, but perhaps soaking in Meredith's alcohol fumes all night was affecting her? Food, drink, milk, Cristina's brain offered. She looked at Zola, who supported her theory by hungrily sucking on her tiny little fingers. Carefully, Cristina threw some pillows together on the carpet and put Zola in the middle of them.
Hurriedly, she looked into the hallway closet and pushed aside three ironing boards, each with its own horrible flower pattern. An old vacuum cleaner, a toolbox and ah, there it was. The baby high chair bumped into other junk several times before she managed to wrestle it out. Cristina hauled it into the kitchen, meanwhile checking whether Zola was still alive and well, and dusted it off as best she could. Next she retrieved Zola from the living room and strapped her into the chair. This took a while, because Zola found every buckle and strap fascinating and was twisting her entire body and trying to put everything in her mouth. Eventually Cristina succeeded. She wanted to do a little happy dance, but was sure that Jackson would choose that moment to come downstairs and make fun of her. Instead, she very formally thanked Zola for being a good girl and got some milk from the fridge before she remembered that Meredith had a big bag with baby supplies. Where the hell was it? The table was still littered with liquor bottles, but despite her deplorable knowledge about babies she knew those wouldn't make good breakfast drinks for Zola.
Lexie chose that moment to enter the kitchen clutching the wanted bag.
'I peeked into the designated baby room and saw you'd forgotten the bag,' she said and handed it to Cristina, who mumbled thanks. Lexie put two pads into the coffee machine and took two little cups from the upper cupboard. Cristina rooted around in the bag, until she found a bottle heating device, a bottle and some special formula. The familiar labouring noise from the coffee machine calmed her frayed nerves a bit as she filled the bottle with some formula and warm water.
'You're such a honey bunch. Yes, you are. A pumpkin, a cuppycake.'
Cristina turned around to find Zola giggling a bit at all the cutesy nicknames Lexie was cooing at her. Lexie pointed at an electrical socket for the bottle heating device, which Cristina was sure had a less literal name than simply bottle heating device.
'Is she supposed to be in a high chair already?' Lexie inquired as she pressed the button of the coffee machine. The kitchen was beginning to fill with the scent of fresh coffee and Cristina cherished the smell.
'I don't know. I just thought that it must get pretty old to be lying down all the time. Is that bad? Should I get her out?' Cristina asked and as hard as she was attempting to sound casual, she hated the thinly disguised panic in her voice. She was so out of her depth.
'She looks fine. And you're doing fine. Relax,' Lexie said. Cristina promptly turned her back to Lexie and fumbled to plug the heating device in. A little red light went on in the side of it and Cristina put the full bottle in. There. That was done at least. Man, she was exhausted and she hadn't really done anything yet. Lexie handed her a cup of coffee and Cristina thanked her again.
They leaned against the counter for a minute, watching Zola take everything in. She was peering down at the table and the floor with incredible concentration and then turned her attention to the chair itself. Lexie fished a tiny teddy bear out of the bag and put it in front of Zola. Her interest was piqued immediately and she prodded and poked the bear, all the while giggling softly. Jackson lumbered into the kitchen too, looking prettier than he had any right to look after a mere four hours of sleep, Cristina thought.
'You want some coffee too?' Lexie asked, but he shook his head and headed for the fridge. He took out some yoghurt and muesli and grabbed a bowl.
'Any other takers?' he asked. Lexie nodded, but said they would have to eat quickly, because they had to leave for work in 10 minutes max. With impressive speed he produced another bowl, filled both and Lexie and he sat down at the kitchen table and started crunching away. Meanwhile, the red light on the device with the unknown name had turned green and Cristina assumed that meant the milk was heated.
'You don't have to work today?' Lexie managed to squeeze out in between chewing and spooning. It was really disgusting to see the chewed mixture churning around. Cristina shook her head and let a bit of the milk drop on her wrist. Hey, she knew some baby things! The milk was just the right temperature. She unstrapped Zola and took her into her arms and awkwardly sat down on a kitchen chair. Uncertain, she guided the nipple of the bottle towards Zola's face. What if she wasn't hungry? What if the milk was too hot after all? What if she had screwed up the ratio formula to water? Zola dispensed with all her doubts when she took the nipple into her mouth and started sucking. She looked utterly satisfied as she settled back into Cristina's arms staring at her with wide open eyes.
'That's so cute,' Jackson drawled and Lexie silenced him with a fierce nudge. It caused him to almost choke on the healthy crap he was stuffing his face with. At least Lexie was attempting some ladylike spoonfuls; Jackson was just eating like a pig. On the whole, Cristina was relieved she didn't have to work today. She knew Owen had to and she didn't feel like seeing him at all. Though work might have been a welcome distraction from thinking about the stupid confession she had made to herself the previous night. All three adults heard the backdoor and turned towards it to find an awful looking April. April looked a bit like Cristina felt. Now here was something who really exuded pure alcohol from every pore.
'Good morning,' April offered in a hoarse voice and Lexie and Cristina exchanged a look.
'You're just coming home now? Where've you been?' Jackson asked and dodged another nudge from Lexie, who was looking curiously at April. Unsure of how to answer, April fingered her coat and smiled at Zola. Cristina realised April was not clear on what she had said to whom last night. The feeling of a dormitory had always been prevalent in Meredith's house, but it had never been as pronounced as it was now. However, somehow it was more like an extended family feeling. Cristina, who was not a family person and didn't have any siblings, found the feeling creepy. Yet, it was also...something else.
'Get some?' Cristina asked mischievously and for a moment it seemed as if April wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole to save her from the shame. This embarrassment was gone in a flicker and she flashed a smirk Cristina had never thought April would be capable of at them. Without saying anything, because the smirk had really been enough, she left the kitchen and trotted upstairs. Cristina enjoyed the look of confusion and shock on Jackson's face a little too much and didn't even notice Meredith entering.
Suddenly, the kitchen felt crowded with Meredith there. Lexie and Jackson ate the last of their breakfasts and Lexie told Meredith she'd babysit Zola anytime. Lezie was spurring Jackson on, who was pressing a little kiss on Zola's cheek, while Zola tried to reach his ear. It made Cristina feel very uncomfortable, more like a mom than she had felt the whole morning. She did not want to feel like a mom. Ever. Lexie threw Jackson's coat at him, they grabbed their bags and headed for the door.
'Good day, little darling,' Lexie waved at Zola and Cristina flinched. Meredith regarded Cristina wearily. Then she shifted her attention to the high chair.
'I got it from the hallway closet. Hope that's alright,' Cristina asked as Meredith looked at it with nostalgia. Cristina was baffled by the sentiment. Maybe there were a few happy memories in Meredith's childhood after all. Zola had finished half the bottle and was visibly losing interest in it. Meredith extended her arms and a bit stiffly Cristina got up and heaved the baby into Meredith's arms. Meredith paced around the kitchen trying to let Zola burp.
'I'm sorry about you having to take care of Zola,' Meredith said, but Cristina just shrugged it off.
'Derek is off work today too, so I'm going to try and find him, since he is obviously not going to answer my calls,' Meredith said and she shifted Zola to her other shoulder.
Cristina sipped her almost cold coffee and suggested Derek might have commandeered the trailer. After effusively complimenting Zola on her burping prowess, Meredith confided she had been thinking more towards Mark's apartment, but she would look at Alex's trailer too. For a few minutes they bickered about whether the trailer was Derek's or Alex's now and eventually Cristina ended the micro-fight by telling Meredith that she thought the trailer might have been towed away at the hospital. Meredith creased her forehead in an endearing way and said she wasn't sure about the trailer either. She gently put Zola into the baby carrier.
'I could watch her some more. I don't mind,' Cristina said, though she was tired beyond belief and all she really wanted was to get some sleep.
'Thanks, but no. If I don't have her with me he'll probably slam the door in my face. She's my leverage. The cutest little leverage ever, yes you are,' Meredith explained. Before she left, Meredith added, 'By the way, when I return we have to talk about some things we said yesterday. Well, technically today.'