To Make You Feel My Love
"I can't do this, Becs" Chloe says, her eyes brimming with tears as she looked at Beca.
"What do you mean?" Beca whispered hoarsely as her heart drops
"I tell you everything. Every thought, feeling and story… but you never tell me anythi" Chloe's voice cracked, she took a couple of deep breaths, Beca stood, lost for words, then the silence was ended as Chloe continued
"I know barely anything about you before Barden, sometimes I feel like we are hardly even a couple… I get that some people are not as touchy feely as me, and not everyone is up for PDA, but would a peck on the cheek be so hard?" Chloe's tears spilled over, falling down her cheeks. Beca stepped forward and raises a hand to brush the tears away, but Chloe stepped away
"I just need some space… I'll see you at practise tomorrow." Chloe walked past Beca without another word, Beca couldn't move, she heard the door close behind her, then she finally allowed herself to cry, her knees buckled beneath her and she fell onto her bed.
Chloe went back to her own dorm, Aubrey knew exactly what had happened, she and Chloe had talked about the subject at length, she just pulled Chloe into a tight embrace, she asked if Chloe wanted to talk about it, Chloe refused and went straight to her room. Aubrey checked on her about 20 minutes later, she had music playing on her loud speakers and was hugging a pillow, asleep on her bed. Aubrey put a blanket over her and quietly closed the door. She went back to watch some Netflix ,promising her self that tomorrow she would put Beca in a living hell.
An hour later, Beca couldn't sit there any longer, she grabbed her jacket and ran out to Chloe and Aubrey's dorm. She knew she had to explain herself and try to show Chloe how much she really loved her, she got to the door and paused before knocking. She checked her watch, it was 11:04 PM so Aubrey would be sleeping according to her precise daily routine, so she knocked gently hoping that Chloe would hear, but Aubrey would not wake up. Then the last thing she wanted to happen, happened. The door opened to a seething Aubrey Posen. Aubry pushed Beca back into the hall, and stepped forward, closing the door behind her.
"What do you think you're doing!? Chloe, the bubble of sunshine, closed up and CRIED herself to sleep because of you! Explain yourself." Aubrey shouted, glaring at Beca, Beca completely forgot whatever she was going to say and stuttered some nonsense. Aubrey was not happy with that response.
"You have screwed up big time." Aubrey spat through her teeth.
"DON'T YOU THINK I FUCKING KNOW THAT?" Beca snapped "My heart breaks just thinking that Chloe isn't smiling. I'm not good at feelings and talking about them, and I know that but I've tried over and over again but every time I try, nothing comes out. Chloe's just too good for me, OK? Is that what you want to hear? I can't be the talkative person she wants me to be. I'll just leave and let her find someone who isn't a ball of antisocial shit."
They fell into silence, Beca couldn't face Aubrey or Chloe, so she turned to leave. Before she even took a single step she felt a hand on her shoulder stopping her.
"Why can't you do what you just did to Chloe?" Aubrey asked
"What?" Beca questioned, confused by the sentence "I just yelled at you, cos we're like, arch nemeses' or whatever"
"No you idiot, you just talked, or yelled, about your feelings… you know, your insecurities" Aubrey explained
"Yeah, but I didn't mean too, that was just an accident…"
"But if you said that to me your 'arch nemesis' then you can to Chloe"
"No, I can't."
"Why not?"
"Have you ever tried to talk to her?" Beca said, starting to get frustrated and raising her voice a bit, "She's the easiest person to talk to" Aubrey countered
"NOT IF YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER! I look into her eyes and forget everything I was going to say, then she smiles or giggles and I can't contain the butterflies in my stomach, then she touches my arm or calls me 'Becs' and I feel electricity run though my body, how am I supposed to be able to function when all I can see is the most beautiful person in the world, who for some unknown reason wants to spend time with me let alone date me…" Beca spills all in one breath, she try to catch her breath as she realises what she just said, covering her mouth with her hand she looks up to Aubrey.
"You're in love with her?" Beca nods, knowing that the game is up and she might as well reveal everything
"Yeah, head over heels and all that shit, since day one…"
"THEN TELL HER!" Aubrey rudely interrupts, angering Beca again
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING AT ALL"
"Ok, ok calm down, geez… Well you gotta somehow!"
"I can't just walk up to her be like, hey I know I never speak about my feelings, but yunno, I think you are perfect in every way and I couldn't live without you and I love you more than I have loved anything or anyone in my whole life."
Suddenly the door opened making Beca jump back against the corridor wall, Chloe stepped out, squinting with her glasses on and crazy bed hair.
"Bree? Is that you? What's wrong?" She looked around pushing her glasses further up her nose before spotting Beca, Beca instantly jumped forward to give her speech
"Chloe I…" Chloe interrupted her
"Beca? What are you doing here?" Beca was so relieved that Chloe hadn't heard her speech, she looked at Aubrey who was subtly trying to hint to Beca to speak, then she looked back to Chloe where she instantly made her mistake by looking into Chloe's eyes, noticing that they looked sad and maybe a little angry, they weren't sparkling as much, her stomach dropped, she didn't know what to say, she tried to stutter something
"I… um… I know…um…I…I…" Her voice quickly faded in to silence, the lump in her throat grew bigger.
"You know what, I said I needed space and I do" She turned to go back in the dorm "You coming Bree?"
"Yeah, I think Beca gets the message, right Beca?" Beca could do nothing but nod, she felt her heart break again as Chloe, for the second time that day, walked away from her. The door closed and Beca was lost, she had no idea what to do. She slowly sank to the floor and took out her phone, put her headphones on and her music on shuffle, then just looked at the photo of her and Chloe set as her background, soon Adele came on, she thought she could just sit in her own sadness for a moment, then an idea popped into her head, the way she could explain to Chloe how she felt. She stopped the music and called Aubrey, praying she was awake but not with Chloe.
"Hey mum, what's up?" Aubrey answered
"What? No, it's Beca…" Beca said confused
"No, I'm not busy, I'm just hanging with Chloe" Aubrey smiled at Chloe, who gave a weak smile back
"Oh ok… um I need a favour" Beca asked catching on to Aubrey's cover
"Yeah, umm is it this weekend?" Aubrey continued to keep up the act
"I need you to cancel practice tomorrow but don't tell Chloe"
"No way!… Jamie's going to be there!" She managed to cover her outburst
"Come on Aubrey! For Chloe! One time, please?" Beca begged
"Ok, sure…"
"Oh my god! Thank you so much!"
"Ok, I love you, speak soon"
"I know you love me, but Chloe's right there! Geez woman, are you trying to get us caught?…" With that Aubrey hung up making Beca chuckle before setting her plan into action.
Beca arrived at the hall at 9 AM, seriously early, to set up to wait for Chloe who was always early for practise, it normally started at 10, so she had more than enough time. She pushed the piano into the centre of the room, thankfully it was on wheels but it was still a challenge, she had a quick practise making sure it was all in check, then she sat and waited for Chloe to turn up.
It had gone 9:30 and Beca was worried Chloe wouldn't show, she started pacing to shake off some nervous energy. Then the door squeaked open, Beca turned to watch Chloe walk in, the morning sun creating a silhouette around her. Chloe looked up and saw Beca standing nervously next to the piano.
"Beca? Where's Bree?" Her voice still horse from the night of crying, after she left Beca in the hall, she talked to Aubrey for ages about everything and nothing, she just didn't want to be left to her own thoughts.
"Please, Chlo… just come here and listen?" Even though Chloe was hurting she went over to Beca, leaving a distance between them.
"I know I'm awful at explaining my feelings and just talking to you… so I thought it would be easier through music…"
Chloe stayed silent as Beca sat down at the piano and started to play. The sweet melodies of To Make You Feel My Love by Adele echoed in the large hall, and Beca started to sing.
When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I will never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.
I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love
Throughout the whole song Beca looked deep into Chloe's eyes, trying to show her how much she meant to her. The song ended, Beca let the last notes ring out in the hall, before standing up and walking towards Chloe, who had tears falling down her cheeks once again.
"Chloe, I have never felt so strongly about someone as I do about you, please, I'll try so hard to talk to you, I'll tell you everything you want to know and I'll hold your hand when we're walking together and I'll kiss you hello and goodbye no matter who's watching, because… because I love you."
Chloe surged forwards, pulling Beca into a searing kiss, each of them trying to display all their feelings in one action, they pulled away for air, both breathing hard. Beca closed her eyes and pulled Chloe into a hug, relishing the close contact, then Chloe whispered into her ear
"I love you too." Making Beca grin uncontrollably.
"I didn't know you had it in you hobbit." Aubrey's voice called across the hall. Beca and Chloe pulled away and turned to see all the Bellas in tears watching the scene unfold. To prove her point Beca pulled Chloe into another deep kiss, then softly said
"That's for all the 'Hellos' and 'Goodbyes' that I've missed"
"I think you've got a lot more catching to do!" Chloe smiled.
Thanks for reading!
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- OddSocksForLife