**Authors Note: Again, song at the beginning is London After Midnight. Awesome song. Want to do more. Please Read and Review...EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT. Just tell me what you didn't like. I won't be mad. It helps me.**

Pale and Dark and Tortured Blue,
behind a veil you find serenity.
I guess that's something we share,
violently fading into nothing to find peace,
or escape it.

Curious, majestic black strands cover you entirely,
yet I may there.
Always being tested,
an eternal game that must leave your soul in shreds,
as it does mine.
You have my sympathy,

but forget about everything just for tonight
for this moment in life,
this moment in time
could be your first,
or your last.
You abandoned hope long ago,
you abandoned love,
or it abandoned you,

but now is the time for beauty,
violent beauty so pure it's scary,
the past is over,
this is something new,
altogether alien, exotic, and welcome,
erasing what came before,
with a blink of her amazing eyes...

"Atmosphere," London After Midnight

I looked down at my blood soaked hands and the paling face all screwed up with pain on the floor. Fear trickled down my spine and mixed with the guilt and remorse that stewed in my stomach. I felt sick as the true weight of what I had just done came down on me. Although I did what I was told and would survive another day, I didn't know if I wanted to.

"Kill Me." I wasn't even sure that the words had left my mouth as I picked up the wand at my feet but I knew what I saw in those eyes as I bent down; fear and hatred.

Three Weeks Earlier

I glanced up in annoyance as a mousy little girl timidly made her way into my office. Her head was tipped down slightly and she barely made eye contact as she sat down in the chair in front of my desk.

"Yes, Miss Dolus?"

"U-um, P-p-professor Dumbledore a-asked me to give this to you." She slowly reached her arm out to hand me an envelope with Albus' seal.

Severus,

Kindly take this child under your wing and nurture her talent. I am confident that she will blossom in potions if given the attention.

Sincerely

Albus Dumbledore

"Wonderful…"

The Next Week

"Try Again, Miss Dolus." He said with disdain when he examined the potion I had created. It was very plainly gray and runny when it was suppose to be green and viscous. I was ashamed that I had done such a thing and his imminent jeering wasn't going to help.

"Please, Professor, call me Tacey." I said with uncertainty. I wasn't sure if it was too soon.

"I hardly think that would be appropriate." He snapped. I looked up at him through my eyelashes and made eye contact with him for the first time since I walked into his classroom. From the look on his face I caught him off guard. Timid as I was I dind't think there was a soul in that school who would expect such a thing from me.

"Please? I really would prefer it. Being so formal seems so odd. I guess that I'm just not use to it." I tried really hard to put some sensuality in my voice. Over the past week I noticed something in me that hadn't existed before. Something that demanded to be set free… If only he would cooperate. My response seemed to put him even more off guard and I was sure that he had forgotten what I am sure was to be the worst lecture to date.

"What are you playing at, Miss Dolus?" He was breaking. I could tell by the tone of his voice. It was softer than it had been. It was odd to hear.

"My name is Tacey…" I stood up and looked up at him deviously. His eyes widened when I reached out to toy with the buttons of his robes.

"Miss Dol… Tacey, please, sit down and re-mix the potion." He said without much resolve. Severus Snape was no doubt a desperate man and it was hard for him to do the right thing in a situation like this. Even as I pushed his robed off his shoulders he tried to contest to no avail. I don't suspect he really wanted to succeed.

"Please, Professor?" I said as I knelt to my knees and pulled at his trousers. His face flushed. It the red on white of his face was awe-inspiring. You could see the schoolboy in him for just a moment.

"Yes," he growled suddenly and, to my surprise, grabbed me roughly by the elbow and dragged me to his desk. He through me roughly onto his desk and reached up my skirt to grasp at my panties.

Two Weeks Pass

"Damn it, Severus." I scolded my self as I paced the floor waiting for Tacey's return. I was trying to wrap my mind around the passed weeks. Every time I resolve myself to end it she slinks in with her head high and those beautiful eyes. You can see a hunger in those eyes. She was dangerous. She knew so much about me. I don't know what she did but I always spoke freely when she asked me questions. Whenever she left me I would come to my senses and realize the danger that I had just put myself in and then she'd walk in again and I'd forget. There is no way that I am in love. I've done that before. NEVER again. It was settled then. I had to end it. She knows too much.

The Next Day

"Sev, darling, I'm back. Have you been waiting for..." I stopped abruptly when I saw the expression on his face. Damn it.

"There is something that we need to discuss, Miss Dolus."

"…'Miss Dolus?' When did we get back to that, Sev? Oh! I get it! It's a game?!" I exclaimed hopefully.

"No Game." My face fell as he turned to his desk and picked up the wand that was lying in a rather uncharacteristic, careless manor.

"What are you doing?" I reached into my robes inconspicuously to grab the dagger stashed in one of the many pockets. The one that inspired some interesting games when accidentally discovered. He didn't respond and when he came toward me I whipped my hand out from my robes.

"Come now, Miss Dolus, put that away. I'm not going to hurt you. You can trust me." I laughed at such a statement.

"Trust you? A man who sleeps with students and bears that mark? I know what that mark means." I said as I pulled my wand from my robes with my free hand. I touched the tip to the soft skin of my arm just below the inside of my elbow and almost instantly the snake and skull sprawled across the pale expanse. His eyes widened. "He sent me here. I'm not a student and I'm not a child. I'm here to kill you Severus. He doesn't trust you. He thinks that you're a risk. Damn it, I should have done this weeks ago." Severus grew angry with every word. I'd hurt his pride. He should have known and he knew it.

"Ava…" I flicked my wand and his flew from his hand.

"Despite how I behaved I do know what I'm doing Sev. Just give me a moment to think." I had some conflict that I needed to resolve and very quickly. I looked away from him for just a moment trying to straiten out my priorities. Surely my life is worth more to me than his? He moved suddenly and without thinking I thrust the knife in my hand toward him and I felt his flesh give away beneath it. He fell to his knees and I let the knife go. I looked down at my blood soaked hands and the paling face all screwed up with pain on the floor. Fear trickled down my spine and mixed with the guilt and remorse that stewed in my stomach. I felt sick as the true weight of what I had just done came down on me. Although I did what I was told and would survive another day, I didn't know if I wanted to.

"Kill Me." I wasn't even sure that the words had left my mouth as I picked up the wand at my feet but I knew what I saw in those eyes as I bent down: fear and hatred. "Kill me Sev. It's not worth this any more."

I sat down at his head and put his wand in his hand. I gently pulled him into my lap and cradled his head. Before he turned his wand to me he tended to himself and I watched him knowing what would happen to me if he didn't kill me next. I felt like I was in a haze, like none of this could possibly be happening. He took the knife that he had pulled from his own torso and brought it to my dark mark. All I can remember was the searing pain as he carved the mark from my arm holding me down with a few charms. Then he whispered gently in my ear, "Run… And don't stop until this is over."