Hatchet of the Light

What kind of person can murder and feel nothing?

Angela leaned against the Impala as she looked up at the sky. It had been a long time since she done any star gazing. She used to do it as a means to unwind and think about what happened on the job and other things. Then it was a means to think about her life in general and the choices she made whether it was person or the job.

This last one was a bit of an eye opener. Darkness or better yet known as Amara was in town and she had been sucking out people's souls. The idea that Lizzie Borden's ghost was doing the killings turned out to be a bust and she was aware of slight disappointment on Sam's end much to Dean's amusement. It changed since Amara was brought into the picture.

She sensed it before Len told them what happened to him. Ever since she had been 'cured' of her Purgatory problem it has been like the muzzle was taken off. True she had been able to do what she had been doing but it was sluggish. Now, it was high definition and really mind shattering at times. So when she first saw Len, she knew that he didn't have a soul.

There is no sensitive way to tell somebody their soul has been sucked out by a prehistoric tween.

Sam was right in that respect. There was no way to tell someone that they lost their soul and could no longer feel everything they were used to feeling. All the joy was sucked out of it. You didn't feel anything but just executed what you intended to do. She knew of armies that wanted operatives like that because emotions and morals were dangerous.

That was hard explaining it to Len about what happened to him. Sam did the best he could and she backed him up on it. She even backed him up about not killing him because he hadn't done anything. In her mind, killing someone for something that they haven't done or might to… it wasn't right. The final solution with regards to Len… she didn't like it but…

I can feel it. It's like a little light.

She didn't know what she did. Half the time she didn't really know at the time she did the act. Later she did after analyzing it. That just seemed to be the way with her abilities, in particular the ones tied to her healing. And it had her baffled at times.

Dean gave her the look but seemed accepting of it. Angela just looked at Len and touched him when she tapped into her abilities and her hand started to glow. Len was calm about it and that was because of the whole soulless thing. He merely looked at her and she touched certain pointed on his body, namely his head and chest.

When she was done, she sat there and looked at Len with an inquisitive look. It was Len who got excited because he could feel something. It had Dean asking her what she did but couldn't really answer at the time. Len though said, "Now I can do this. I won't be able to hurt anyone if I turn myself in but now I have something that I thought was lost."

He looked at her with a smile. It had her baffled a bit since she didn't exactly know what she did. The best she could come up with at the time was that she healed something. That was the only reason her powers would kick in. She was a healer and there was no changing that.

It wasn't acceptable that he was going to prison for the crimes he didn't commit but he did kill the soulless babysitter. That was the hard part with morality. It put you between a rock and a hard place. You ended up questioning if you did everything right. Questioning whether or not you acted for the greater good.

And this is why you and Mac and others like you do this job. It's so others don't.

Angela was certain that Len was going to be okay. She did sense that she left something behind in the man as if to temper the darkness budding in him. It wasn't her soul since that was stupid to do and she already belonged to another. She considered the idea that she did was Death had done for Sam and that was build a wall. Thinking about it was the more plausible and made more sense. It certainly made more sense than the things she had been witnessing lately.

Sighing, she propped herself against the Impala and looked up at the sky. She allowed her thoughts to wander but they were still centered on recent events. Her main concern was the fact that Amara was on the move. That she was Darkness was all the more clear now. What that implied was a larger picture that she had yet to understand.

You've crossed a line to dance with me.

Those words, next to the implied threat to Sam haunted her the most. Angela knew when she crossed a line more or less. She knew the implications behind her actions and some choices she had made… This though was different. What Darkness implied was something that had to do with the fact that there was the possibility that they had met before and in a time that was beyond all reckoning, as the phrase went.

She knew she had taken a gamble and that was when she and Sam were trying to heal Dean. It had been Sam's idea to use sanctified blood. After all it worked on Crowley and turned him into a girly addict. That had been disturbing in of itself. But for Dean…

She didn't want to tell Sam that she had doubts about it being a long term solution. Even if they cured the demon in him, there was still the Mark to contend with and she had always been wary of it ever since she saw it on Dean's arm. When she would look at it, she heard whispers in her head. Kind of like what she heard in that dream when they got Castiel back.

It was her initiative to use her blood in the mixture. She had taken precautions though and had a priest sanctify it. It almost sounded blasphemous but like anything being introduced to the human body, you had to take into account infection and rejection. She wanted to reduce the odds of rejection. Then she spiked the blood Sam prepared. She made sure that she handed him the syringes.

The gamble was that she would be able to monitor Dean's condition as well as temper the effects of the Mark. It was a rollercoaster in the end since some days were better than most and it didn't help that she hadn't been cured from Purgatory at the time. Of course Sam found out what she did and it…

Maybe she had crossed a line but it was for the people she loved. She had done it before and would do it again. One just had to point at Augusta, Suriyel, Ellen, Jo… countless others she had known over the centuries. Yeah she would put herself on the line for anyone but few people she would go to hell and back for time and time again. She would 'hurt' herself for them because she loved them and…

"Hey."

Angela looked to see the one person that made her happy walking towards her. She gave a smile, "Hey yourself."

Sam looked at her, still not believing that she was freed from whatever it was that happened in Purgatory. She looked… "I guess I walked into that one."

"It's one of your more endearing qualities," Angela replied as she adjusted her position. She sighed and added, "Checking up on me again?"

"Guilty as charged," Sam admitted. He looked at the ground slightly and added, "How are you feeling?"

"Better… been better," she replied. She knew why he was asking. "I haven't had the nightmare. And I can feel things like I used to before Purgatory." She shifted her feet to rest her heel on her toe. It made for an impossible balancing act but she had done it before.

"That's good. I'm glad."

The conversation sounded stilted and while they had made up in the past… Angela looked at Sam and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm worried. About Dean… you. And that my worst nightmare will come true." Sam approached her until he was about leaned on the car next to her. He looked at her. "Worried about Amara and… what you've told me."

Angela tapped her heel on her toe. She nodded, "I think about that too. Mostly whether or not it is true. I mean we both know that all three of us have had a previous life so it's possible but I have no memory what I learned and that is the sticking point and scary one. That and we really don't know what we are dealing with."

"Isn't that always the case?"

Angela shot Sam a look but understood what he was doing. "And we've always found lore in some form or another. This… is different. And… it brings questions that I'm not sure I want the answers to… About me and my role."

Sam adjusted his position so he could pull her towards him without having to move much. "So… what do you want to do?"

Angela couldn't help but give a small smile and a smirk. Their roles have reversed several times over. That's what it meant to be true partners, husband and wife; to be there when the other needed it and sometimes when it wasn't wanted. "Well first figure out what it was I did to help Len. I have a theory but it still sounds ridiculous."

"Dean said it was your healer mojo."

"Yes… but I am not sure what it was. The best I could come up with is a wall. Like what Death did for you but around the black hole where Len's soul was."

Sam thought about it for a moment. He then nodded, "That works." He had an idea too but it sounded cheesy and at times it made her laugh but not at him. It made her thoughtful even if it sounded sappy or ridiculous. "But I think it's something else."

"Really?" Angela eyes him with a raised brow. Her eyes got that mischievous twinkle in them as if to present a challenge.

Sam noticed it and inwardly was glad. It was one more sign that she was being her usual self. She had been before but it was different. With the taint of Purgatory gone, it was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. He looked at her and replied, "Yeah."

"What then?"

"Hope."

Angela blinked at that. It was a little unusual for Sam to be that profound with the touchy feely. "Hope?"

"You have no idea how much of it you give when you help people out. I've seen it and it comes from your heart like everything else. It's the best thing about you." Sam looked at her in the eye and straightened up. "You give it freely even when most would say it has no business being there. It was what I remember most from the Cage."

Angela didn't say anything but accepted the kiss that Sam gave her cheek. She took in a deep breath when he kissed her a second time on the neck where her mark was and heard him whisper that he loved her and was heading back in. She watched him leave and thought about what he said. She smiled when he turned back and signed something at her and it made her choke out a giggle and she gave her reply in sign.

Looking back up she thought about what Sam said. She had voiced her fears to him and she knew his. It was the nature of this job. And yet, they were comforted by the fact that they weren't alone. It made all the difference. However, what he said about her… it had her thinking. She thought about the way Len looked at her when he realized that he could feel a little bit of something. The way that he thanked her…

I know you can't return my soul but still… what you did… I can live with it now. I know that you'll find Amara and do what you have to do. Thank you.

She had always fought against those that threatened humanity. She had done it since she had trained under her father and then later when she was alone. She accepted her responsibility of being the Malachi even though it seemed that it was predetermined that she was the one. She stood up for humans against Lucifer and she always considered the collateral damage that could occur with her choices. Some said to the point of lunacy but that was how she was.

You always were one to protect the innocent. It was why He created you, but he didn't expect your twin to develop.

There was a reason that Amara chose to target her the way she did and Angela knew that it was going to be a fight that was going to get down and dirty. She had her reasons to keep on fighting. Even when she nearly died before meeting the Winchesters she always fought to live. It wasn't really just a desire to live though it could be argued that.

It was why He created you…

The light for others when all others go out…

Angela looked up at the sky and nodded as she thought about everything that happened and what Sam had said. It wasn't a perfect solution but then again things rarely were. Maybe she would never find out the truth between her and Amara but she knew that what was here was important. The Darkness was coming and she would be there to stand against the tide that would come. Her weapon was like a hatchet against a great grizzly and she once had done that but it left a nice sting. Maybe Sam was right and what she gave Len was hope.

A/N: Angie thinks about Len and more on the upcoming and inescapable meeting with Amara and Sam gives encouragement. A tag to Thin Lizzie. Enjoy.