Disclaimer: I do not own the Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. No, I don't own it no matter how much I may wish so. Now in order to get into the mindset of things, realize that my friend and I wrote this making fun of the movie because we love it way too much. That's what we do; take the piss out of things we like. With that said, enjoy!
Chapter 1: The Blitz
It was a dark and cloudy night over Great Britain. Descending from the clouds, quite suddenly, were German planes. There were a fair number of these planes, all of them ready to drop bombs onto the helpless people below.
On one of these planes, the pilot was getting a bit frustrated with the two people who were to drop the bombs onto England. "Yes, we're there, alright, stop asking me and get ready," he said in German.
The two men had been ready for the past five milliseconds. One was getting increasingly impatient. "Come on, man," he complained to the pilot, "I wanna cause some explosions, man, let's drop these things already."
"Wait for it," said the pilot.
"Hurry up."
"Wait for it."
"This is taking forever."
"Wait for it."
"Teletubbies are colorful," said the third man in the plane.
"O…kay…"
"Now!" shouted the pilot.
"Boo-yah!" And the bombs were dropped.
Meanwhile, down below, Edmund Pevensie was looking out of his window, whilst the bombing was commencing.
"Edmund! Get away from there!" yelled his mother, Helen. She called for her eldest child before turning back to Edmund. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Well, there was this really pretty girl in the house next door and when I looked out the window, she had just dropped her towel and – " Edmund stopped talking once he realized that his mother wasn't paying attention to him, but instead was ordering Peter to take him to the shelter.
"Come on!" Peter cried, running for the door and pulling Edmund with him.
"Wait…" Ed wanted just one more glimpse…
"Come on, leave it!"
Susan was currently upstairs, trying to get Lucy to come to the shelter. "Lucy, come on!"
"I don't wanna," whined Lucy.
"Come on, now"
"I don't wanna."
"Barney died."
"Good."
"Damn!"
"Will you make me a sandwich?"
Susan gave in. "Oh, alright. Now come on!"
As all five Pevensies ran out into the bomb shelter, Edmund realized that they had forgotten something.
"Wait! Dally!"
"Ed!" cried Peter, running into the house after him. "I'll get him!" he called over his shoulder
"Peter, come back!" screamed Helen.
"Ed! Come here!"
They ran back into Edmund's room and Edmund grabbed a hot pink sock with orange and red stripes on it.
"Edmund!" Peter shouted. "Get down!" The window behind them shattered in an explosion that occurred just outside. "Come on, you idiot, run!" Peter yelled, running for the door again and pulling his brother with him. "Get out!"
They ran outside and sprinted for the bomb shelter as the planes flew overhead. Helen grabbed for Edmund and pulled him inside.
Peter glared down at his brother, who was lying on the bed in front of him. Why can't you think of anyone but yourself? You're so selfish! You could've gotten us killed!"
"Stop it!" said Helen, turning back to Edmund, who was sobbing on the cot.
Edmund looked up at Peter. "I wasn't just thinking about myself, I was thinking about Dally. And now he's dead!" Edmund sobbed harder, tears running down his face as he looked at the sock in his hand.
Peter stared. "Why can't you just do as you're told?" he asked, before turning around and closing the door.
A/N: I was watching the movie for the bazillionth time and was thinking, "So why exactly was Ed looking out of a window during a bombing when everyone was supposed to keep their curtains closed?" Thus this chapter was born. Oh, and the Dally the sock thing came from "Blarg," from the first chapter intermission: The elf named Dalamar turned into a sock and died. As to the actual sock that Ed was holding, I actually do have a pair of socks like that; only their names are Mike and John, not Dally. In fact, I'm wearing them as I'm typing this, for inspiration, and also because I'm cold, and they're warm and fuzzy. Yeah, um, anyway…reviews are greatly appreciated, as they'll let me know if this is any good at all.