What was Hardison thinking when he was stuck in that coffin?
Based on and major spoilers for Season 4's 'The Grave Danger Job'. A warning for some swear words.
A/N Any dialogue is from the show [and I hope I got it right, but please forgive me if I didn't].
I do not own that dialogue or the characters, they belong to their wonderful creators and no infringement of their rights is meant, I'm just borrowing them.
Hardison's thought are in italics, some of the dialogue has been shortened by spacing...in between. I hope this doesn't stop you enjoying.
The shrill sound of a cellphone brought him back to his senses, or at least he thought it had.
Man it's dark. I wish that phone would shut up. Is that mine? Sure doesn't sound like mine; damn somebody needs to change their ringtone. Pride in the equipment boys, pride in the equipment. What the hell man, that's definitely coming from me.
Finding the phone Javier had obviously left him with, he opened it to answer and squinted at the bright light. A clamshell? Seriously? Even Eliot wouldn't touch this, damn I need to get kidnapped by a better class of bad guy. Dude needs to discover a touchscreen.
"Wakey-Wakey." Javier's voice floated out of the cell.
Still squinting in the light, and a little disorientated, Hardison barely recognised his voice as he croaked back "Where am I?"
The glee was evident in his voice as Javier told him "Well, see for yourself."
He could hear Javier still talking as he moved the phone round, using it to light his surroundings, call your friends, where to take the identities, yada yada; but he couldn't answer him. He was in a box. And as he had been taken from the Wickett's funeral home that meant…..
I'm in a coffin. I'm in a fucking coffin! Oh my God, I'm gonna die.
His eyes darted everywhere looking for a weakness, battering on the sides and the top, he tried, but he couldn't find one. This is gonna be it. Nana's little boy'll go out an' she won't even know where I am. God, please don't do that to Nana, she's a good woman, she doesn't deserve that. Or Parker…..oh god Parker….need to call Parker.
Fumbling with the phone he punched in the numbers etched on his brain, and his heart. "Hello? Parker? Parker…"
He can't focus, it's a box, a coffin, their voices haven't allayed his fear one little bit. No useable data from the cell phone, no earbud, means no clue where he is. Nate's all business, they left the cell for a reason, yada yada, he gets it, he does. It actually makes him feel a little better, but then Eliot tries to help…
"Look, if you still have reception, you can't be buried that deep, if you're buried at all."
"I don't know where I am!" Oh yeah Eliot, I should be damn happy cause I can make a fucking call. Dude's insane, like I care if I'm buried deep. What bloody difference does it make…I'm still stuck…
"….thirty minutes of oxygen…."
...in a mother fu…what'd he say? Thirty minutes of what now? Thirty minutes? That's it? How long till I'm unconscious? Then how long till I die? We shoulda listened to Eliot, had him closer, maybe I wouldn't be in this position.
"…important thing is to stay calm." Stay calm? Stay calm…is he the one in the damn box, I don't think so. He can hear them all chatter away, but it's really not helping, they're talking back and forth as if he's not there. "Hardison, can you just hold on one second?" Nate's voice came over the little speaker, then, silence.
"P-Parker? Nate? Somebody? Some..." Did he just put me on hold? Did that asshole just put me on hold! Oh God, please…please come back. Please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone.
Oh thank God, they're back. His relief washes over him as he listens to Eliot rationalise and pinpoint locations. Sometimes that man's former life comes in real handy.
"…open field….daylight….he's in a cemetery…"
"I'm where?" He starts feeling the panic again "Oh sweet mother o' mercy." Great, lets be happy I'm in cemetery with all the other dead guys! Seriously Eliot, we are so having a firm talk about morale speeches, cause you suck at them!
"Need your help….can you smell anything?...pressure in your ears?"
Smell? Pressure? What the…has Eliot lost it? I'm in a box, in a hole, in the fucking ground what in the hell could I smell. Ain't like there's a pizza joint nearby…wait it that water?
Eliot's whisper was barely audible over the speaker, "Sprinklers. He ain't that deep." but he heard him all the same. Again big wup Eliot. Still. Fucking. Buried.
The realisation that Nate actually had a plan that might work was like a breath of fresh air, no pun intended, it was workable, all he had to do was stay calm, focus on the sounds and just breathe until they got here, he could do that right? Simple.
Pen knife! Eliot gave me that damn pen knife key ring after the militia job. Thinks I don't know how a Swiss army knife works, just cause I don't like fishing…show him. Get ma own damn self outta this coffin, ain't no damsel, don't need t'be rescued. It was a stretch, but luckily, or ironically Javier's rose gave him the leverage he needed to reach the keys, and his salvation.
His joy at reaching his knife was short-lived, the rushing of blood through his ears is making the voices further away, he can't hear them. It's dark, he's alone and all he can think of is getting out. Tearing through the satin he starts to freak out as his fingers scrap along the cherry wood, his breaths becoming more rapid, his heart pounding threatening to leap from his chest. He has to get out! Then he hears it, his angel's voice "Deep breathe in, deep breathe out" over and over.
"Don't get off the phone, I don't want to be alone again"
"I'm not getting off this phone until we get you out of there, Ok?" She means it. She's not going to give up on him. That means more to him than he'll ever be able to tell her. The calm she brings him is almost serene, it reminds him of the job for Paul, when the kid thought Parker was an angel as she rose through the roof with the statue of St Nicholas; and she is. Her smile lights up her face and makes him smile, just like Nana always told him, angels bring you happy boy, just when you need it. He can picture that smile, and it calms the rushing of his blood, he can focus on the sounds around him again.
"…wait! I hear something." Oh God please. "Ambulance! Ambulance!"
Oh my God they're here. They're coming to get me. They're gonna get me.
It's taking too long, the air's getting thin, he has to try to signal them. Give them a clue, a hint, something. With shaking hands he has another go at the wood above him, banging, scraping, digging with his knife, doing anything to get out. But all he gets is the base of small compartment in the wood giving way dropping a compass onto his chest. The keepsake nook! Maybe I can figure out what way I'm pointing. Damn compass's going crazy. The metal detector. Parker!
It sounds like a pop. He can hear them, gunshots, his friends are in trouble, but he's choking, the air's so thin he can't breathe. Then there's the angel again "Take a deep breath, as deep as you can and hold it."
Taking a deep breath he held his hand over his mouth to stop him releasing it too early, he trusted her, his angel, she'd make sure they got him out. "You have to make it through this because you're my friend and I need you. Do you hear me Alec? I need you!"
He was choking, tears started to flow from his eyes. They're so close, so close and am gonna die. There's no air, God my chest is burning. They're gonna be to late. I'm sorry Nana for all the bad things I done, but I did a lotta good too, you'd be proud. I'm sorry you never met Parker, she's amazing Nana, she just doesn't know it yet but I lo…
"Move to your left." She was back and he did as he was told with the last of his strength, he curved into the side of the coffin moments before the bullets tore through the lid and he could gulp down a big breath of fresh air. She shot through the lid, oh dear sweet merciful air. What if I'd been facing the other way? My left would have been right into the path of the bullets. Thank you God, I knew ma Nana didn't do all that praying to you for nothing.
There's a bright light and then strong hands are pulling him up and before he knows it he's wrapped up in Eliot's strong arms. "Never do that again man. Don't do that again." And now he's being passed around for hugs, but all he wants is to see his angel, and then he does.
She doesn't do emotions very well and she really doesn't do touching, but both together, no chance. He can see all the unfamiliar emotions playing through her mind, they're written over her face, desperation, relief, confusion, need…love. He can see it and he doesn't overwhelm her, just a small nod in her direction, but it's enough, for now.
It felt really good to see Javier and his crew go down. His tech finding their location, his skills making sure they were given priority, yeah it felt really, really good. Nobody puts Nana little boy in a box!
He left Nate upstairs and went to find Parker. She was sitting on the bar turning the compass over and over in her hands, her mind still trying to process the feelings that had been brought to the surface. He didn't want to add to them, he just wanted to let her know how much it had meant to him, so he leaned over slowly and just ever so lightly kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger a moment longer than was necessary. "Thanks for not hanging up the phone." And he walked away, leaving her with her thoughts, not pushing her to reveal any emotion.
He walked away through to the back looking back at her and seeing the small smile on her face, he knew he'd done the right thing. He knew she cared, he didn't need a declaration of love, she'd get there eventually and even if she didn't, for her he could wait; would wait, for his angel.
A/N 2 Thank you for reading.