Just a little something based on the spoilers for season 5B (pictures of the cast shooting on twitter and IG), I just took them as my inspiration and turned it into this.. So even though this is just my take on what I saw, if you don't want to be spoiled for season 5B in any small way.. Do not read..

And if you do decide to read, enjoy and maybe leave a review? x


Mistakes

Things are mess. A complete catastrophe and he's not entirely sure as to how he ended up here. What went wrong, how he exactly lost his cool, but here he is. At night, on the busy streets of Manhattan yelling at some other man. "Have you never made a mistake! Cause I'm trying to fix mine right now."

The words leave his lips, but he doesn't hear the other man's response as he spots a flash of red hair in the distance. His gaze redirects as his heart skips a beat, but it isn't her. His own words on repeat in his mind. Have you never made a mistake.

He can't even count the times he has made a mistake with her, but there are too many. Too many big ones too and his shoulders move down as he realizes that what he's doing now, he's never done for her. Not really.


He's eyeing the room while she's not looking at him. He can't bear to look at her, not now. Not after everything that has happened. Not now he's in her apartment again, it's only the fourth time and the last time feels like yesterday, but it's months ago. It's months ago since he had said those words, but the feelings are still there. The feelings are the same. It's been months since he sat on that couch, the one his eyes are fixated on. Months ago since everything fell apart, and yet it fell some more.

His gaze focusses on his feet again as he hears her move around a little in her chair. The sound it makes on the floor when she pushes it back, making him swallow. He knows she's getting up and the only direction she can walk to is his.

She lets out a breath, her shoulders hanging low as she's unsure as to why she invited him in. Why he's even there. He hasn't said a thing, they haven't shared words. They haven't even looked at each other; not really. "Let me get a drink," she mumbles as she walks past him.

He nods, it's a habit, but he knows she can't even see him making the movement. He also knows that she doesn't have to see it to know his reaction; it has always been that way. She's always just known. Except that one time months ago. That one very important thing, she didn't know. And she still doesn't know, not exactly, not completely.

She walks back, two glasses in her left hand a bottle of scotch in the other as she watches him sit in the chair. He hasn't moved an inch. She pours two fingers of the liquid auburn in both of them before she moves the glasses over the table. Placing his next to him, her eyes now fixated on the back of his head. His shoulders, the way they're hanging down. She sighs, she isn't used to seeing him like that, so defeated.

His armour's gone and she can't help herself. She lets her right hand rest on his left shoulder and he doesn't even realize that her touch is making him reach for her hand at that time. His hand now covering hers. She squeezes his shoulder a bit, some sign of comfort. A little sign to tell him everything will be okay, without actually saying the words.

She walks around to face him then, her hand remaining in his on top of his shoulder. His eyes still focussed on the ground, and she lets out a sigh. Tired of him avoiding her eyes, she kneels down in front of him. He lets out a breath, his watery eyes finally meeting hers, making his heart rate go even faster. Letting go of her hand then, the tension becoming too much, he lets his elbows lean on his legs. Her hand moves along his collar, her fingers swiftly undo his tie, before her hands moves to his cheek. "It's okay," she mumbles. They're not the ones to have physical contact but today is different. After everything that has happened, she knows he needs comfort. She sees that he needs her.

He swallows, shaking his head in disagreement to her words. She feels her stomach turn watching him disagreeing, making her pull him closer in a hug. He doesn't protest, to defeated to do so anyway and maybe just really needing her touch. Her arms circle around his back as she feels his head rest on her shoulder, his hands wrapped around her torso. His breathing becomes more regular and she can't help but notice he's crying.

"Harvey," she whispers, "it's not your fault. There wasn't anything you could do." Her words only making him bury his face even more in the crook of her neck. She pulls away then to look him in the eye. "I," he stutters, but he can't finish his sentence. "You're a good man, Harvey," she whispers her thumb running over his cheek. He still cringes under her touch, he won't ever get used to it.

"I've made so many mistakes," he mumbles softly. "Hey," she whispers, holding his face in her hands now, "hiring Mike might not have been your smartest moment, but it is not a mistake." She smiles, knowing how much the pup meant to the lawyer, how much it meant to them. How much she was responsible for all this as well.

"I meant with you," the words softly leaving his lips, "I've made so many mistakes with you."

"Harvey," she whispers unsure of what's to come, but also reassuring him that he doesn't have to talk about it. Not now. "So many," he continues.

She lets out a breath, her mouth slightly parted as she's waiting for him to explain. Her finger on his cheeks now feeling heavy, she moves them back to his arms. Letting them trail down till his wrists. "You asked me how I love you..," he mumbles pausing for a second as he feels her lifting her fingers from his wrists. He holds her hands then, "Donna I'm not good with emotions, and to be honest I don't know how."

She swallows, thinking this is it. That he isn't going to answer and she curses herself for having that spark of hope again. For not being able to move on, for being in such close proximity now. She wishes he wasn't holding her and she removes herself from his grip. Getting up and turning round.

"Donna," he mumbles his hand reaching for his. His fingers on her wrist making her turn around. His fingers are drawing patterns on her skin as he gets out of the chair. "Donna," he mumbles, his left hand cupping her face. His thumb now removing the tear that's streaming down her face. "I can't tell you how I love you," he tells her, "but I can tell you that I do."

"I love you, Donna. I always have and always will," he mumbles looking at her now "All I know is that I just want to be near you, even though it's driving me insane because you won't let me touch you," he smiles realizing that that is exactly what they are doing now. He continues, "I know I'll never get used to your touch, yet it's all I want to feel. All I know is you make me smile, even when there is no reason to do so. All I -"

"Harvey," she pauses him, pressing her finger against his lips, her eyes focused on him. She smiles, replacing her finger with her lips, "I love you too," she whispers on his.

-The End