Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Written for;
The Pairing One Hour Challenge - Easy - Pairing - AndromedaRabastan. Prompt - Duty Bound
The All-Era Endurance Test, Round 1.
573 Words Without AN.
Love Isn't Always Enough
It isn't right, and yet, it doesn't stop me. I cannot help how he makes my blood boil, nor can I help how he makes my heart race. All it takes is his lips pressed against my neck, and I am yielding, unable to refuse him, unable to move away. He ravages my body at every given opportunity, be it hidden in-between the tall shelves in the library, or after curfew up on the Astronomy Tower.
I shouldn't allow his hands to roam all over my body, nor should I enjoy it, but I do. He makes me feel alive, he makes me feel beautiful, he makes me feel desired. His hands are as talented as his lips, and a mere brush of his fingertips can turn me into a gibbering mess. He enjoys the power he holds over me, and yet, I know, if I allowed it, he would give me more.
He asked me to marry him. He asked me if I would allow him to treat me as a goddess amongst mortals. He asked me to be his for all eternity. He asked me if he could be mine.
I turned him down.
It is not that I don't want him. It is not that I don't like him. He's thoughtful, and when we're alone, he shows a quiet but passionate nature and is sweet and attentive to my every want and need. It is his ideology that I can not marry. It is his parents views that he has adopted as his own, that I cannot handle. And that, is why I can not marry him.
"I lo-"
"Don't say it, Rabastan. It makes things unnecessarily messy."
I have to be harsh. I have to make him think that for me it is just about his hands and his mouth on mine, because I can't deal with any alternative. He will never be mine to keep, and I have to keep any emotion about our encounters in a locked box, never to be investigated for fear of insanity if I allow them out.
"Andromeda, you know who I am. I am duty bound by my parents, by my name, to do what is right."
"Who's idea of right?"
He stands on the wrong side of what I suspect will be a great war, and despite where I know my family, and those who carry my name will stand, I am strong enough to oppose the darkness and stand where I know to be the right place. I will stand in the light and I will shine.
The last time I see him, he manages to get the words out. The words that I have denied him from finishing, the words that I have denied myself from hearing.
"I love you, Andromeda Black."
"I know. I only wish love was enough."
I hear news of him occasionally, and every time I hear his name, it pierces my chest. If only he had been stronger, we could have been together. We could have loved each other, and lived life as only a couple in love can. Instead, I spend my time hearing his name in regards with murder and torture and mayhem.
I wonder if he ever regrets the choices he made. I wonder if he ever wishes he'd been stronger. I wonder if he remembers how it felt when he made me his.
I wonder if he thinks about me.