Disclaimer: No I don't own the rights to this song either. 'Artemis Fowl 'and all characters, places, Names and organisations related to said book are also the property of someone else.

Author's Note: Sing it to the tune of 'Tragedy'- the 'Steps' version.

This is a verse dedicated to the overworked and underpaid workers of the LEP who strive so hard to keep the lower elements safe from Mud-men. (Personally I feel insulted; do you think I can sue for slander?) Please R&R. If it's not funny tell me why and how to improve it.

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How I try

To keep Haven a friendly town

Fighting crime

You know the L.E.P won't let you down

Try my best

Been up all night no time to rest

I really need to get away, get away

Holiday, holiday

Tragedy

When you're in a state coz you woke up late

It's tragedy

When the roads are blocked and the traffics stopped

It's hard to bear

Root's gonna fry you but

You're going nowhere

Tragedy

When three lanes are down on your way to town

It's tragedy

When the roads are blocked and the traffics stopped

It's hard to bear

Root's gonna fry you but

You're going nowhere

Now they say

"Well, why have you been late every day?"

Don't they know it's a murder in the traffic flow?

Drown my pain

If I keep with this I'll go insane

I really need to get away, get away

Holiday, holiday

Tragedy

When you're in a state coz you woke up late

It's tragedy

When the roads are blocked and the traffics stopped

It's hard to bear

Root's gonna fry you but

You're going nowhere

Tragedy

When three lanes are down on your way to town

It's tragedy

When the roads are blocked and the traffics stopped

It's hard to bear

Root's gonna fry you but

You're going nowhere

Tragedy

When you're in a state coz you woke up late

It's tragedy

When the roads are blocked and the traffics stopped

It's hard to bear

Root's gonna fry you but

You're going nowhere

Tragedy

When three lanes are down on your way to town

It's tragedy

When the roads are blocked and the traffics stopped

It's hard to bear

Root's gonna fry you but

You're going nowhere

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed it, I probably won't write another songfic for a while since I'm working on a story (I should be working on my coursework- anyone know how to build and program a robot?).