Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in any way. Sorry.
Well, what to say… I was looking trough the internet, and I saw these deviations on deviantArt named " Is..". They were cute mini-doujins about the horrors of fanfictions. XD I liked them very much, so I thought: "Why not making a series of oneshots out of it?" Some phrases will be quotes from these pics. Said this… Enjoy!
Naruto characters are…
Naruto is…
Naruto is a shinobi from Konoha
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Naruto is not an alien
Goku: Hey, where's your tail?
Naruto???
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Naruto is not the reincarnation of the Yondaime
God of death: Man, wasn't it a good dinner…
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Naruto is definitely not a girl
Naruko: I'm sooooo sexy…
Naruto: O.O (WTF?!)
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Naruto has the Kyuubi sealed inside him
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He hasn't a second demon sealed inside him, and even if he had, it wouldn't be Kyuubi's kit
Kyuubi's kit: PAPA!
Kyuubi: WTF?!
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He hasn't the Yondaime sealed inside him
God of death: I don't remember puking anyone, in my life…
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He hasn't Sephiroth, Ranma, an OC, or anyone else sealed inside him
Ranma: Give me the remote! There's Ophra!
Sephiroth: The hell with Ophra. I want to watch Trigun.
Vash: Someone called?
Kyuubi: This cell is becoming narrow…
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Naruto ( as much as we can't understand why ) is in love with Sakura
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Not with Sasuke…
Naruto: That hole in my right lung was a sign of affection, right?
Sasuke: I'll dance on your grave.
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Not with Kyuubi, be it female or male…
Naruto: Wanna give me some love?
Kyuubi: What about sudden death, instead?
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Not with Tsunade…
Tsunade: THE HELL…!
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Not with Itachi…
Naruto: You'd leave Akatsuki to be with me, right?
Itachi: … Go away…
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Not with Neji…
Neji: He saved me from the darkness… He didn't bless me with homosexuality.
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And definitely not with Gaara
Gaara: Do you really want me to go on a killing spree again?
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Naruto is an orphan
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He is not Yondaime's son ( as much as you want it to be )…
Naruto: Cloud Strife has spiky blonde hair and blue eyes too, but it's not like he's my uncle or something…
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He is not related to Sasuke…
Naruto: I'd commit seppuke…
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And he's definitely not related to Kyuubi
Kyuubi: As if… You wish.
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Naruto is cheerful and happy the most of the time
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He's not an emo…
Naruto: I'm breeeeeaking the haaaaabiiiiit…
Sasuke: You're scaring me…
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He's not a suicidal maniac…
Naruto: The hell with my life and my dream! I'll become the first undead Hokage, then!
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He's not secretly evil and planning revenge on Konoha, and no one persuaded him to do so during his childhood, be it Kyuubi or whoever… Fortunately, we could say
Naruto: Imagine Gaara 9 times more powerful and with 9 times more chakra…
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Naruto was the dead-last of his graduation class at the beginning of the Manga, and he slowly gets better. Even now he's still getting stronger. His only strong points were his incredible amount of chakra and his stubbornness
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He is not a 12 years old sannin-level ninja
Naruto: And I definitively don't have a series that rivals with Icha Icha.
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He didn't fuse with Kyuubi when he was 6 granting him all his chakra and control over foxes, wolf or squirrels
Squirrels: Squiken!
Naruto: WTF?!
Kronk: Need help? I can understand him…
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He was not secretly trained by Tsunade, Jiraya or the Sandaime, or from all of them together during his childhood
Tsunade: I was away gambling…
Jiraya: I was away gathering informations…
Sandaime: Too occupied with cursing paperwork…
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And Naruto doesn't ABSOLUTELY say believe it every five seconds.
Naruto: BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT! BELIEVE IT!
Sasuke: He looks like a Pokemon… Believeit, the ramen-loving Pokemon.
Sakura: Are we sure 'Dattebayo' meant that? But even if it meant 'Believe it', he didn't say it every damn fg second like a complete retard.
Continue…
In the next chapter…
In the next chapter we'll explore the personality of one Sasuke Uchiha. Stay tuned!