A/N Another Bleach Story… Hmmm this time it's a song-fic though… My first attempt at one. Please read and review.
Song: "Fix You" by Coldplay
Pairing: HitsuHina
Disclaimer: Neither Bleach nor Fix You belongs to me. They belong to Kubo Tite and Coldplay respectively.
Hinamori lay on her bed staring at the ceiling rain pounded at the windows and outside the wind howled. She was in her own home again finally. After she had woken up the 4th Company had forced her to remain at home until about a week ago when she was released; coincidentally that was also the day when Hitsugaya and his team had returned from their visit to the Human World.
Hitsugaya-kun… What she wouldn't give to see him right now. But she couldn't bring herself to consider the possibility of facing him now, after what she'd said and done. The only time she had seen him after she had tried to murder him was when she was delirious from lack of sleep and now she could hardly even remember what she had said.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
She knew it was about Aizen-taicho though. That traitor was still ruling her thoughts even now. Although now it wasn't what she could do to please him but why had he done that to her? She had never given him anything but loyalty but he had still tried to kill her. She had tried so hard to be the best fukutaicho for him, given up any dreams she had had for herself in order to help him succeed but it had all come to naught.
Well, now she was finally rid or him and maybe she could try to pick up the pieces of her life. But was left now, almost everything she thought she had had been violently ripped away in that moment down in Central 46. As Hinamori started to fall asleep that moment of betrayal began to replay in her mind; seeing Aizen alive again, his arms around her shoulders…. And then his sword in her chest, looking up into his face only to be met with a cold glare, falling to the floor in a pool of her own blood, feeling Hitsugaya's presence, then everything goes black…
Suddenly Hinamori jerked up into a sitting position, she was shaking and gasping for air again, as though she had just run a long distance. Shakily Hinamori raised a hand to the scar on her chest, it was hurting again. This- the nightmare and chest pain- happened almost every night now and she hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep since she had woken up from the coma. She drew her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them feeling pathetic. She couldn't even sleep. That was all she wanted right now, some sleep and sweet relief from this agony.
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Tears start to roll down Hinamori's cheeks. Her hands curled into fists gripping the cloth of her sleeping clothes. Her whole body shivered, it was so cold and bitter. Nothing was right anymore. She had given up everything for her old goals including her best friend.
Hitsugaya had always been there for her but when she had entered the academy she had started to push him away from her inadvertently so she could pursue her own goals. And that had come to a horrible conclusion when she accused him of killing Aizen and then tried to murder him. That look on his face when her sword was at his throat…
No… I can't think about that now… I…
She started to look back over the years they had spent together and now the thought that she might have lost him terrified her. It wasn't just that she had lost Aizen but she might have also had lost Hitsugaya as well, that thought was worse than a sentence to hell for her. She loved both of them but the betrayal had torn them apart.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Hinamori knew she had to see him. If she didn't she could never say sorry to him for everything she had done wrong. She didn't wan to think about that now. She stood up and, not bothering to put on proper robes or grab her Zanpakuto, and went out into the pouring rain.
Hinamori started for Hitsugaya's sleeping quarters in the tenth division. Rain splattered in the street all around her and the wind whipped around creating eerie whistles and chilling everything it touched. Oh god why had she chosen right now to go out and find him? Hinamori almost turned back but Tobiume kept her going. When she got to the 10th Division there was a light on inside Toshiro's room. She stood uncertainly outside his quarters her hand raised as though she wanted to knock but didn't know whether she should.
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Hitsugaya meanwhile was still awake in his room. He sat at his desk table staring blankly at the grain of the wood, not even thinking anymore. When he and his team had returned to the Seireitei after being in the Human World Unohanna had informed him that they had released Hinamori from their care. He'd seen her once since she had returned home but she hadn't noticed him or, it seemed, anything else at all; just wandering down the street staring straight ahead with those eyes that no longer showed any light or happiness. Her eyes were cold and haunted now and he couldn't bear to see that.
Toshiro knew that he loved Hinamori more than anything in the world but after what had happened he didn't think either of them would ever be the same again. But he couldn't just let her surrender to the darkness threatening to take her over. Watching her mental pain like this was worse than any physical punishment he had had to go through in order to keep her safe. This was no different, he had helped her through pain before and he'd do it again, if only to see her smile for real again. If he could see that even just once it would mean the world to him.
Toshiro stood up and grabbed Hyorinmaru and his Haori preparing to leave for the Fifth Division. He opened the door and actually ran into Hinamori whose hand was raised in preparation to knock on his door. She squeaked and jumped back a couple of paces.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
"H-Hinamori?!" Hitsugaya shook his head staring at the girl before him. She had just walked here from her home in the driving rain and was utterly drenched. Her hair was dripping and strands of it clung to her face. Her clothes were soaking went and he could see that she was shivering.
"Why are you out so late in the rain like this?" Hitsugaya asked worriedly taking Hinamori's hand and pulling her inside before she had a chance to protest. Again before she could answer his question Toshiro was in his room getting a towel and an extra sleeping robe for her, "Here…. Change and then we can talk," Right now Toshiro was more concerned with Hinamori's safety than answers to his questions.
"Uh hai," She responded taking the clothes from him still not looking him in the face went to the other room to change. She was a little bit scared about actually facing Toshiro and having to talk to him. Maybe this wasn't a good idea at all… Oh well she was here and now was as good a time as ever to try to maybe work things out between them.
She dried herself off and changed into Hitsugaya's clothes. He's grown more than she had realized before she noticed. He was still a few inches shorter than she was but his shoulders were much broader than hers now and the chi part was a little loose. In spite of herself Hinamori blushed a little. She took a deep breath and came back out into the main room.
"A-Annou…" Hinamori said quietly staring at the ground feeling worried about looking at her old friend she shivered and sneezed. In an instant the younger Taicho was at her side.
"Hinamori, you know you shouldn't be out in the rain like that," He sighed his Taicho voice not entirely managing to mask his concern. He put a hand on her shoulder and felt her small frame shaking under his hand, "You should sit down…"
"Really I'm fine don't worry about it," Hinamori said but Hitsugaya ignored her and lead her over to the couch. She sighed and sat down, knowing that he'll never listen to any protest she had. He sat down in a chair facing the couch.
"Now… Why were you walking around out in the rain like that?" Toshiro asked going straight to the point.
"I….. Just needed to clear my head a little…" Hinamori said actually looking up but giving him a fake smile. Toshiro bit his lip knowing that she was lying to him. He sighed.
"Were you having nightmares?" He asked staring into her eyes intently. She swallowed nervously. Yes Toshiro had hit the mark exactly she looked down at her hands, unable to look at his face any longer and nodded. Toshiro sighed, "….Were they about Aizen…?" He asked after a moment.
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Hinamori started and looked up at him pain shining from behind her eyes, she nodded mutely again but then spoke, "Hai… I… I have them every night… Everything that h-happened before he l-left and…" Her voice shook as she sat there trying as hard as she could not to cry. She drew he knees up to her chest again and watched Toshiro her eyes filling with tears. Again Hinamori looked away, crying would only make her feel more worthless and that was something she really didn't need right now.
Hitsugaya couldn't help himself, seeing the girl he loved in so much pain. His body acted on instinct as he stood and went to the couch, sitting down and wrapping his arms around Hinamori. The voice of reason in the back of his mind was screaming at him to stop and think about what he was doing but he ignored it. She stiffened uncomfortably.
"Toshiro….." She murmured before relaxing and resting her head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry…. I'm so sorry…" She held a fistful of his sleeve tightly and started to cry, "I'm so stupid… "
"Don't worry about it Momo…" Toshiro said softly in her ear stroking her back trying to calm her down.
"But I… I attacked y-you… I-I'm as b-b-bad as he w-was…" Hinamori cried into his shoulder, "Why… Why did I do that?"
"He was manipulating you Hinamori… If you hadn't done what he told you then he would certainly have killed you…"
"But then… Why d-did he do th-that…?" Hinamori whimpered, "What else d-did I do wrong Toshiro?" She looked up at him desperately tears streaming down her cheeks.
Hitsugaya's grip around her shoulders tightened protectively, "He… He was just using us… I… I don't know why he would do that to you…" He sighed answering her question honestly.
"I'm sorry… Everything I did…. I-if you hate me… I don't blame you… I'm sorry…" Her eyes rose up to meet Hitsugaya's. He stared at her unable to comprehend why she was still talking like this.
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
"I… I could never hate you Hinamori…" He swallowed, it was now or never. Again the little voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to not say anything but he wasn't listening to it, "I don't hate you because…. Because I think I love you!" Toshiro finished his sentence quickly and closed his eyes waiting for her response with baited breath. For almost an entire minute the room was dead silent except for the rain and wind outside.
"H-Hitsugaya-kun…?" Hinamori said slowly. She had no idea of his feelings and this came as a complete shock. She reached up with one hand and stroked his cheek staring into his eyes, he blushed lightly, "D-do you really… L-love m-me?" He swallowed and nodded. She bit her lip, this didn't make any sense at all; how could Hitsugaya-kun love her of all people?
Well he'd already come this far he might as well tell her everything, "I love you so much… I want to keep anything like this from ever happening again. I can't stand that I wasn't there to protect you… I-if I had been there maybe this wouldn't have happened…" He pulled Hinamori a little closer to him and paused for a minute before, "I… I want to help you as much as I can… If I could just… See you smile at one more time…" He stopped, this was selfish of him, it wasn't about him.
"Toshiro I… I wish I could just make everything that happened go away but I know that that can't happen… I- I know this is selfish of me but… could you please help me stand up on my own two feet again…?" She asked and then immediately regretted it, after everything he had done for her she was just asking for more, "I'm sorry Nev-"
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Her hurried apology was cut off when she felt Hitsugaya's lips against hers. When Hitsugaya let go after a second or two he looked at her and said, "I'll do anything to fix you Momo…"
And for the first time since the Ryoka had entered the Seireitei Hinamori actually smiled for real, "Thank you Hitsugaya-kun…. I… Love you too…"
--End!--
A/N Well it's over. I hope you enjoyed it and I apologize for how disgustingly sweet that was hehe. And it took way too long to write. Well please review!
Lots of Love
Killerbunny