Fan Letters
By: Yukura
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Titans or villains. Cartoon Network and DC Comics does.
A/N: The Titans have plenty of fans. So that means they get fan letters, right? And the villains have fans, too. So that means they get fan letters as well, correct? I have chosen a few of the better letters to show you all, as well as the replies. (This would be a fan. This would be a Titan or villain.)
Dear Raven,
I'm your biggest fan. I have a cloak just like you and I have a shrine for you. I want to marry you, or at least meet you.
Would that be possible? My name is Freddy. Your awesome and really hot. I've heard lots of weird rumors that you are dating a Titan, but it cannot be possible, correct? Robin is dating Starfire, Beast Boy is too immature and Cyborg is too ugly. So you'll date me, right? Or marry me?
Love,
Freddy
Dear Freddy,
If you truly were my biggest fan, which your not, you would know that I would never marry a dweeb like you. Also, you would be aware that I AM dating a Titan, and he isn't always too immature. (In case you can't come to a conclusion by that information since your brain is so small, I'm dating Beast Boy.) Also, if you were my biggest fan, you would know I don't like having my friends insulted and so by saying Cyborg is "ugly", which he is not, you have upsetted me greatly. No, Freddy, I will not marry you, date you, or even meet you. Why don't you do find yourself some friends or a life?
Raven
hi beast boy
im adelaine pitcher and ur awesome!11! i think u r teh b3st titan and that u r so cute!1! will u go out with me id just luv it if u did im saving up 4 a moped now so when i get it ill let u ride it deal pleaz go out with me beast boy i luv u!1!11!1!
ur true luv
adelaine pitcher
Dear Adelaine,
Yeah, sure I'll got out with y
Dear Pitcher-head,
Beast Boy is mine and therefore would never date a dweeb like you. He likes girls who are intelligent and it is obvious from your letter you have the brain capacity of a monkey. I suggest you leave my boyfriend alone and go find yourself somebody as stupid as you are to date. Anyway, Beast Boy doesn't want your moped because I'm going to buy him a nice new one that has a rocket launcher!
Raven
Dear Jynx,
Your so cool! You're the best villain ever! I want to be just like you! Do you give villain lessons? I'll pay you tons of money. I really will. Just after you teach me. My name is Tiffany, but I use my secret villain name Jynx 2 when I'm off committing crimes. So will you teach me?
Please,
Jynx 2 or Tiffany
Dear Tiffany,
Were you trying to write to me? Because I don't know any Jynx. If you meant me, than you spelled my name wrong. First of, I don't offer lessons. Secondly, I'd make you pay ahead of time since if you wish to be a villain I wouldn't be able to trust you. And anyways, you couldn't trust me to actually go through with the teaching. So, no I won't teach you. So, Jynx 2, I hope you enjoy your life as a criminal.
From,
Jinx
hi raven
im ur long lost sis really i am i have no munny so I need help and since im ur sis ull help me rite cuz im all alone im glad i found u cuz ull b the best sis ever
ur sis,
ebony
Ebony,
You're my sister? Really? Wow, that's incredible! I don't recall having a sister, and so this is a miracle. All of a sudden, I have a sister. Look here, faker, I'm not giving you any money and I'm not going to support your little act. I know I don't have a sister, and I really doubt you name is Ebony. I bet your just trying to use a name that sounds "Goth" to get me interested. But even if I did have a sister, she would never be as stupid as you and she wouldn't write leik a 12 year old aoler who goes 2 2many chatroomz leik u.
Raven
Dear Cyborg,
Build me car dude! Your awesome. I'm your biggest fan, so I should get a car. I'm a vegetarian like you dude, and I also love tofu and soymilk. Yum! So build me a car!
Mikey
Mikey,
First off, I'm not a vegetarian. I love meat and hate tofu and soymilk. And since your not my biggest fan since you didn't know that, no car for you.
Cy
Dear Starfire,
Your hot! Go out with me!
Ronnie
Dearest Ronnie,
I am actually quite cool, not even warm. So I am not hot, but thank you for the concern. Where would you like to do the going out?
Starfire
Dear Starfire,
Your stupid.
Ronnie
Dear Ronnie,
I am not! I am just not used to the Earthly customs and therefore am not sure as to what you want from me. Please do not write me anymore letters.
Starfire
A/N: What did you think? I'd write more, but I have to get a glorious thing called sleep because I have school tomorrow. Will "Ronnie" write more? Why is Raven replying the most? Does anybody like Robin? Find out next time on: Fan Letters. (I'm sorry about the shortness, it will be longer next time, promise.