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Too Close
He knew it was coming. The instant he heard that Orihime had gone missing, he knew that he was going to have to deal with her. The only one that he could never fully ignore. The only person that wouldn't. Leave. Him. Alone. The only person that could worm her way back into his heart despite all his efforts.
But he hadn't expected this. He hadn't expected her to bleeding know everything. He hadn't expected her to be able to demand that she know everything and actually have a reason behind it.
…Ishida was right. He was as blind as a bat. She had enough reiatsu to see him and he didn't even know.
And what he knew he had to do just got a lot harder. It was one thing to leave her in the dark. She'd just get confused, pissed off, and not think about him. But now that she had a pretty damn solid idea about what was going on, it was a whole different ball-game. And once she got a hold of something, she didn't let go.
Case in point, she wouldn't let him go. Every time she saw him in a fight, she'd just plow right in, regardless of the consequences. But, back then, she could dish out more punishment than anyone else he knew. Back then, he knew he didn't have to watch his back when she was around.
Back then he wasn't facing opponents that could—and often did—kill with the lazy flip of a hand.
As he stared at her in numb shock, he felt an ice-cold sensation sink into his stomach.
She was getting Too Close. That was the worst thing that could possibly happen. Those that got Too Close got hurt. Every time, without fail.
His mother was the center of his universe. His mother died at the hands of a Hollow, trying to protect him.
Rukia gave him the strength to protect, to fight where he would be nothing more than dead weight otherwise. She stirred something inside him—no, it was best not to dwell on that. She was far away now, far from any source of danger. She was no longer Too Close to him. She would survive. But then, it had been a very near thing. He had fought his way through the entire damn Soul Society and he nearly died several times over.
He had seen the way Orihime had looked at him. He wasn't blind. But he had hoped that keeping his space would drive her off, dampen her enthusiasm. Needless to say that plan failed miserably. Now she was off trapped in fucking Hueco Mundo.
Now she was trying to reach the same place. Trying to go to places she shouldn't; places he couldn't let her go to; places that could get her killed. And a traitorous part of him was screaming at him to give in. It was yelling to tell her, get it all off his chest, the nightmares, the battles, the fear that he wasn't strong enough, the way his stomach would flip whenever she…
NO.
He was not about to condemn another to death. He was not going to risk her like that.
"That's none of your business."
His voice sounded cruel to his own ears, harsh and forbidding. He saw the betrayal, the raw hurt in her eyes. He nearly caved at the sight, but at the same time took a perverse satisfaction at it; even more so when her fist plowed into his face. He fought back a chuckle as he realized that her punch—once the thing he feared the most—didn't even faze him. More proof that he was right in his decision.
"Aren't we friends? Aren't we companions?"
She was completely right. Hell, companions didn't begin to describe the way he felt. But she deserved better than him, his life. That's what companions did: look out for each other, even when it was painful…
His stomach clenched as the thought rolled around in his head. 'Orihime.' He had wandered around the entire day, hoping and praying that someone somewhere could swoop in and help the sometimes-dazed girl.
He had abandoned her, even if only in his own mind. No more. After all, that's what companions did. He felt his resolve harden.
'I'm bringing you back, Orihime, even if I die.' He picked himself up slowly, his eyes finding Tatsuki one final time.
"…Sorry but, Keigo, Mizuiro, I'm leaving Tatsuki to you from now on." 'Find yourself a good man, Tatsuki. Someone who you can get close to. It's no less than you deserve.' He asked her silently, knowing she couldn't hear him. But he could still hope.
"Don't concern yourself with me…" He was doing what was right. Distancing himself from everyone.
But damn if it didn't hurt.