Hola chicos! PrincessVamp here! This is kind of a Spuffy fic, but not really.
Enjoy and R-E-V-I-E-W!
"Let me rest in peace, let me get some sleep, let me take my love and bury it, in a hole six foot deep...I can lay my body down, but I can't find my sweet release...so let me rest in peace!" Spike from Buffy CD: Once more with Feeling!
I hate you, sometimes. You come into my world...my world of darkness and death, and you spread brilliance and beauty and love...and I let you.
You infected me with you...your joy and happiness spread to me, and now I'm so sick of these feelings that I SHOULDN'T be bloody feeling! I'm dead, for Chris' sakes! I should want to bloody protect the little bit, or...worry about you because you worry that your line of work will kill the wankers that love you...
Bloody hell. I need to be institutionalized.
I used to laugh at the stupid blokes that would moon over the ladies. As soon as Drusilla came into my life, changed me...made me better—I laughed at them. How pitiful they were: their happiness based on how happy their girl was; how they were depressed whenever something went the SLIGHTEST bit wrong.
Well bollocks for them! I was content! I was fine with who I was, and then you come in! You, who stand for everything I hate:
You kill my friends.
You infect me with these feelings.
Your pitiful emotions...
Your stupid friends...
...and how you bloody well won't let me protect you! Every time I even try to its 'No, Spike! I don't need you, Spike. I never need you.'
I give up. Fight your own fucking demons. Make your own stupid decisions. Protect your OWN BLOODY SELF but leave me out of it! I can't sleep...I can't hardly eat without feeling guilty!
I'm reduced to a pitiful little shadow of what I used to be...all for you.
Never again. I will rise again to be William the Bloody—the Spike who killed two Slayers, whom all feared second to the Slayer! I will spread terror and destruction! I will--!
"Spike?"
I turn and see you. Your beautiful golden hair is shadowed, but none the less brilliant. Your smile is hesitant but perfect. Your eyes...your eyes reflect me.
"Can you help me with something?" You ask quietly; a change from all the times you storm into here and demand and threaten me with a bloody stake.
No bloody way, Slayer. I've fought and fought and fought for you and I never get recognition, never get thanked, never...
"Anything."
Bollocks. Maybe I'll be able to keep myself together enough to refuse her next time.
(laughs) Poor Spike. This is how I imagine him. He hates Buffy yet he loves her. Poor guy. Review! Thanks!
Luv ya guys!
PrincessVamp