A/N: For those of you who have read the version of this story I had up before, I took that down due to a few problems pointed out to me by Oreramar, and have changed to make it better.

I do not own Redwall. Aster the mousemaid and Milfoil the squirrelmaid are mine.

A bored audience sat idly in front of a stage, curtains still down. The sound of a scuffle could be distinctly heard, but nobeast paid it any attention.

"Down, down! Evil!"

"Security! What are you doing?! Get over here!

BANG! SMASH! THUD!

"Owwww…"

The curtains came up unexpectedly, to reveal a rather distraught squirrelmaid and her security team attempting to restrain a group of squirrels and keep them in their seats. Seeing the curtains had risen, the squirrelmaid leapt up and shouted toward the side of the stage

"ASTER!!"

A small giggle came from over by the curtain rope, and a young mousemaid promptly ran into view.

"Yes, O magnificent I-can-never-keep-control-of-my-guests?"

"Hey, it's not called "Crazy Creatures of Mossflower" for nothing." Then, seeming to forget what she was going to say, she turned towards the audience.

"Um… Hello, and welcome to the first episode of.."

"BOOOOOOOOO!"

Some rotten fruit was thrown, (where they got that, I'll never know, but I'll lay the blame on a certain mousemaid.) but they completely missed their target, as there was nothing there for them to hit. They audience looked around in confusion.

"ASTER!!"

The voice came from a large hole in the center of the stage, right where the squirrelmaid had been standing.

"Yes, O great Milfoil?"

"Cut the sarcasm." She said as she climbed out of the hole. "I thought I TOLD you to have the stage fixed!"

Aster smiled innocently "Oh, dear, it must have slipped my mind. Don't worry, I'm sure nothing else can go wrong."

As those words left her mouth, a large amount of paperclips rained from the ceiling onto Milfoil.

"Hey! So that's where my paperclips went!" Yelled some random security badger.

"ASTER!!"

"Dear, dear, you seem a bit stressed lately, why don't you go lie down?" Said Aster to a VERY irritate squirrelmaid.

Putting on a false smile, Milfoil said. "Oh, no I don't think I'll risk it, who knows what you've put into that couch.

Aster attempted to look hurt "Me? Moi? Why, dear friend, what ever caused you to think such a thing?"

At that moment, the audience started up a chant "We paid our dough! We want a show! We paid our.."

"SHUUUUTTT UUUUUPPP!!"

At that moment, the hole in the floor seemed to shift position, and milfoil fell in again.

"ASTER!!"

A/N: End chapter one of the revised version! Hope you like it better (And if you never read the original, eh, good.)