[This is my hand at a humorous Legend of Mana...starring Niccolo and
others...should be interesting if nothing...]
Niccolo's Rampage
Niccolo: Damnit, everyone thinks I'm just a money-laundering jackrabbit. It may be the truth, but where the hell would they get that idea? *Looks to his left and sees the Pelican gossiping to Miss Yuka. * Niccolo: That little beakface...I'll show him. No longer will I have to suffer from the gossipness of the short and annoying...* A light appears over Niccolo's head * No longer will the anguish of a bad reputation brought upon me by the Bird-Creatures of this world speaking to one another... A Voice: What are you going to do? And where the hell did that light come from? * The light disappears, and Niccolo looks around suspiciously * Niccolo: How the fuck should I know? Just let me get on with the plot, ok? * Niccolo walks over to Pelican * Niccolo: Hello, pelican. Pelican: Oh, whelpy whelp, hello Niccolo. Niccolo: Pelican, it comes to my attention that you owe me...oh, a thousand lucre for the last batch of stamps you ordered from me... * Pelican whelps * Pelican: I thought I paid you, Niccolo? Whelp. Niccolo: No, you didn't. The Lucre, now! Pelican: Whelp. Niccolo: Now! I don't have all day; I need to launder money out of more people than just you today! Pelican: Whelpy whelp. * Not moving an inch * Niccolo: Pelican! Pelican: Whelp! Niccolo: Damnit quit that goddamn whelping and hand over the Lucre! * Pelican whelps again, then tries to fly away * Niccolo: I'm a rabbit remember? * He jumps up and catches Pelican * A Voice: * Points * Bah! * Niccolo stops for a second * Niccolo: This is your last warning; stay out of the fucking story. A Voice: Yessir. Niccolo: Now, this is what you deserve, my Pelican friend. I don't think they'll find you delivering anything for a while...not even a corny one- liner!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! * Niccolo takes Pelican behind a bush and bashes her until the cows come home...which happened to be quite a while * Niccolo: There we go. Now that you've learned your lesson, you're free to go. * Pelican just moans * Niccolo: Oh, quit your bitchin', ya pussy. Ok, now that that's over, I can have a 'talk' with that old bird, Miss Yuka. * Looks at the lucre in his hand * Hey, I got five thousand more Lucre out of the deal. I gotta do this more often!
A Voice: And Niccolo continued his violent rampage until no one thought he was a Money-laundering Jackrabbit; which was hard to do, because he was a jackrabbit, and the very act of making people think otherwise was... * Niccolo comes back * A Voice: Shit... Niccolo: That's it; I've had it up to my ears with you. * Niccolo beats the shit out of the author and earns himself ten thousand Lucre. * Niccolo: I think I'm going to do the 'The End' section from now on. The End!
Niccolo's Rampage
Niccolo: Damnit, everyone thinks I'm just a money-laundering jackrabbit. It may be the truth, but where the hell would they get that idea? *Looks to his left and sees the Pelican gossiping to Miss Yuka. * Niccolo: That little beakface...I'll show him. No longer will I have to suffer from the gossipness of the short and annoying...* A light appears over Niccolo's head * No longer will the anguish of a bad reputation brought upon me by the Bird-Creatures of this world speaking to one another... A Voice: What are you going to do? And where the hell did that light come from? * The light disappears, and Niccolo looks around suspiciously * Niccolo: How the fuck should I know? Just let me get on with the plot, ok? * Niccolo walks over to Pelican * Niccolo: Hello, pelican. Pelican: Oh, whelpy whelp, hello Niccolo. Niccolo: Pelican, it comes to my attention that you owe me...oh, a thousand lucre for the last batch of stamps you ordered from me... * Pelican whelps * Pelican: I thought I paid you, Niccolo? Whelp. Niccolo: No, you didn't. The Lucre, now! Pelican: Whelp. Niccolo: Now! I don't have all day; I need to launder money out of more people than just you today! Pelican: Whelpy whelp. * Not moving an inch * Niccolo: Pelican! Pelican: Whelp! Niccolo: Damnit quit that goddamn whelping and hand over the Lucre! * Pelican whelps again, then tries to fly away * Niccolo: I'm a rabbit remember? * He jumps up and catches Pelican * A Voice: * Points * Bah! * Niccolo stops for a second * Niccolo: This is your last warning; stay out of the fucking story. A Voice: Yessir. Niccolo: Now, this is what you deserve, my Pelican friend. I don't think they'll find you delivering anything for a while...not even a corny one- liner!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! * Niccolo takes Pelican behind a bush and bashes her until the cows come home...which happened to be quite a while * Niccolo: There we go. Now that you've learned your lesson, you're free to go. * Pelican just moans * Niccolo: Oh, quit your bitchin', ya pussy. Ok, now that that's over, I can have a 'talk' with that old bird, Miss Yuka. * Looks at the lucre in his hand * Hey, I got five thousand more Lucre out of the deal. I gotta do this more often!
A Voice: And Niccolo continued his violent rampage until no one thought he was a Money-laundering Jackrabbit; which was hard to do, because he was a jackrabbit, and the very act of making people think otherwise was... * Niccolo comes back * A Voice: Shit... Niccolo: That's it; I've had it up to my ears with you. * Niccolo beats the shit out of the author and earns himself ten thousand Lucre. * Niccolo: I think I'm going to do the 'The End' section from now on. The End!