Title: Deep inside of me

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. JAG belongs to CBS and DPB and Paramount too.

Rating: T

A/N: I kind of borrowed this idea, but it went out completely different in the end so… Feedback is highly appreciated. Thanks

„I´m keeping you deep inside of me, I´m thinking of you".

WASHINGTON D.C.

Autumn is beautiful in Virginia. Reds and golds are visible everywhere, vibrant and full of life. That year, the city was alive and bustling with energy during the last few weeks of warm weather. On the outside. If you looked closer, there were only cold stormy days ahead.

Mac´s apartment, 04:28 AM

He woke up very slowly to still darken night. The wind was singing some kind of a song and the shadows danced against the walls od the apartment. It was not his apartment. Slightly he stretched out when he felt warmth, body warmth from a woman laying next to him. The woman was fast asleep if her steady breathing meant anything. He quickly sat up and looked at her. Then he remembered everything… her laughter, her body language, smooth skin, chocolate eyes, how her body fit with his…, her tattoo. He had to smile at that. He had seen it, finally. Suddenly he panicked. What if she regreted what happened, what if this kills their friendship. He was scared. Scared that he would hurt her or worse, that he already did. It was clear to him what he has to do. Slowly he stood up and tried to find his clothes scattered all over the apartment. He found his boxers at her side of the bed. She looked so peacefull, fragile. She was so beautiful, like an angel. He watched her for a while, her steady breathing, her lips, her closed eyes. Then he stood up and dressed. He took out his keys, opened the door and closed them behind him with a light click. She stirred a little but didn´t wake up. Then he locked the doors and left.

She was going to be late. Sarah Mackenzie was speeding on the streets of Washington clearly lost in thoughts.

Flashback: Mac slowly awaked ans stretched. Then she remembered the events of previous night and quickly looked on her right side. She frowned and slowly got up with the sheets around her.

„Harm?" nothing happened. She looked at the rumpled side of her bed. She could still smell him there. Then she went to the kitchen.

„Harm?" this time a little bit more faithfully. He didn´t answered. How could he when he was not here. She knew it but still had to be sure. He didn´t left a note or anything so she strated to worry.

End of Flashback

Counting every minute and glancing at the speedometer every now and then, Mac prayed that the admiral would be in a good mood today. Then she looked at the passenger side of her Vette and saw his watch. He had left them on her nightstand. He just probably forgot them there or he left them there for a reason? She didn´t know what does it mean, she just hoped he had an early meeting and forgot to leave a note but there was this possibility that he regreted what happened between them last night but she refused to think about it.

So she pulled up at the parking lot, took a few deep breaths and went to work. When she stepped out of the elevator, she watched the normal buzz at the place she loved most. Then she found him, sitting behind his desk, already working. She wanted to talk to him, but she was scared so she rather left for her office only to turn around heading for the breakroom for very strong coffee. She would certainly need it.

Meanwhile in Harm´s office

Harm watched her all the time. When she stepped out of the elevator and looked through the doors, but when she looked at him he acted like a coward and buried himself in files. And then, when she walked back from the breakroom and didn´t come into his office and didn´t even look at him he was sure she regreted their night together and was determined to pretend. He would say he regret it too even if it broke his heart. When he was about to go to her office she appeared at his doorway, looking slightly nervous but her eyes didn´t show anything.

„Hi"

„Hello Harm" her voice was distant.

„You left these on my nightstand" Mac handed him the watches. Their hand touched a little, both of them snatched their hands away.

„Oh, I´m sorry I totally forgot about them". Harm xamined them like he had seen them for the first time.

„You don´t have to apologize, after all it was me who wanted them down". He smiled a little after that but didn´t say anything.

„Harm"

„Mac, I…" they said it at the same time.

Mac started to say something again but he stopped her.

„No Mac, let me go first".

She looked confused but agreed.

„Please sit down". So she did.

He was looking out of the window for a while but then he looked into her eyes and she knew that whatever he was going to say would change her life forever.

„We are friends for a few years now and I really value our fiendship".

„Yeah me too, but…"

„No, let me finish this please".

„Okay"

He looked her straight in the eyes and said:

„I think that last night was…a mistake" He winced at the sound of it, but she didn´t see it, she kept looking past him out of the window, she couldn´t move, just kept staring at something in the distance.

„We were both…" He talked and talked about the reasons why they couldn´t be together but he doubted she had heard a word he said. After a while:

„You want something to add?"

She jerked her head at him and said:

„NO, no I think we are all set." Then she got up and quickly walked out of his office. Harm sighed and turned around. There were hundred of files awaiting him. He sat down behind his desk, hands on his face, thinking, that he made his biggest mistake today.

Mac hurried to the ladies room, locked herself in one stall and colapsed to the ground. Silent tears streamed down her face.

TBC