After watching the parody show, Teen Titans Go!, and their competition on who was the best Robin, I thought to do this with the Links, starting with HW Link. And this'll be somewhat of a mini-series. So hopefully it'll be funny.
So as usual, I OWN NOTHING!
-miano53
"Hmm…I wonder who the best of the Heroes was. I like the Hero of Winds! He was cool!"
"Nah, I like the Hero of Time's story more. Time travel sounds so cool!"
-brothers Zill and Joel, Outset Island
Chapter One: Team Link
Hyrulian Forces Encampment, near Temple of Souls…
Link, still getting used to his being the second-in-command of the Hyrulian Army, walked around the forest area with his fairy companion Proxi. He was relaxed and at peace, especially after the army had to defend their post in the tree-lined region from the dark forces. The Hero decided to return to the main camp…only to see several tents on fire.
"FIRE!" Link screamed, running towards the fire and grabbing a bucket full of water.
His companions, which consisted of the Goron Chieftain, Darunia, the Zora Princess, Ruto, and the Twilight Princess, Midna. Captain Impa of the Hyrulian Army, the crown princess of Hyrule, Zelda, the White Sorceress, Lana, the spirit of the Goddess Sword, Fi, and the "Bug Princess", Agitha, were also among his companions and they did nothing to help. Instead, they sat around a campfire while some of the Hyrulian Forces, which included both humans, Zoras and Gorons, tried to put the fire out…with rocks.
"Fire-Fire-Fire-Fire-Fire! Rock-Rock-Rock-Rock-ROCK!" the forces chanted while tossing boulders at the flames.
Using a small, blue medallion he was given by Ruto, Link chanted, "WATER!"
A torrent of water gushed forth, dousing the flames and nearly flooding the area. Once it receded, Link glared at the others and said, "Why didn't you guys help?"
"Yeah! The camp could've burned down!" Proxi added.
"Hey, thanks for putting out the fire. Now can you go and get the popcorn?" Midna asked.
The Hyrulian Forces that "helped" pulled out a burnt pot out of one of the formerly burning tents. They took off the lid and Link spied what could've been snack food…
He gave the order for the forces to trash the burnt tents and ashes for popcorn and turned to his comrades.
"Okay, that is the third time I had to put a fire out this week. Seriously, what is up with this team lately?" Link said.
Agitha sighed and said, "Playing this 'war game' is hard!"
"Yes, Master. Sometimes taking a rest is quite necessary in fighting the forces of evil," Fi added.
"And I really didn't feel like summoning a giant flood to douse the flames," Ruto said.
Link had to keep himself calm, wondering why he was still there. He had the Master Sword. He could go off and fight Cia and her dark forces in the Valley of Seers. He could go and defeat her, stopping her crazed assault on Hyrule and the other timelines all just to get him to be her boyfriend. He could, he thought, he really could leave and never return to the craziness called the Hyrulian Army. But after what happened in the Temple of Souls, he decided against it.
Moments later, a small bird perched itself on Princess Zelda's shoulder and she took a small note connected to its left talon. She read the note aloud and said, "Oh…Not again. Cia's forces are attacking our forces stationed in Faron Woods…again…"
"OKAY! We gotta save them! Let's go, people!" Link said cheerfully.
"Yeah! Yeah!" Proxi added.
Instead, the pair was met with a groan.
"Do we have to?" Darunia asked.
"Yeah. I'm still taking a break from the last battle!" Midna said.
Link was irked and Proxi yelled, "You guys will risk Hyrule and the timelines getting destroyed just to take a nap?"
"Yup. And the timelines are already in disarray. These five are not supposed to be here," Impa noted, pointing at Darunia, Ruto, Midna, Agitha and Fi.
"And I'm sure that the soldiers will be fine. They're not that bad at their job," Lana told him.
Link knew that not to be true, seeing how incompetent the soldiers were. He looked at them and saw as they tried archery practice…by throwing spears haphazardly at targets. Others tried tossing wooden practice swords in the air, making attempts to catch them, and failing spectacularly. The swords hit several of the soldiers on the head, knocking them out. One last group tried to put out a small fire as a campfire had gotten out of control by, once again, tossing rocks and the occasional grass clump or two.
The Hero then got an idea, remembering the various statues and paintings in the Temple of Souls. A tune came to mind and he grinned widely.
"Okay, fine. Since everyone here is either lazy or terrible at warfare, I'll just take my 'other army'," Link said, pulling out an ocarina.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the Hero.
"Uh…What other army?" Lana asked, mentally checking the timelines to figure out what he was talking about.
"You don't mean…" Princess Zelda said.
"Uh huh. And since the rest of you haven't a clue about my 'other army', then maybe a song on the wind will tell you guys all about it," Link said confidently.
Proxi was equally as confused, but said nothing as Link started to play a rather catchy tune. Lana and Fi identified the tune as the Song of the Hero and wondered how Link learned it. After remembering his various incarnations across the ages, they stopped wondering.
Once he was done playing, Link looked rather smug. The others were confused and Darunia asked, "Brother, what was…?"
Lightning crashed and three portals appeared with three warriors clad in green jumping out of them. That caused for everyone to scream.
"Hyrulian Forces, meet 'Team Link'!" Link said proudly.
He went to the right-handed warrior and said, "This is the Sky Era Link. I learned about him while in that sky city place."
"Hi there! And the place is called 'Skyloft'," the Sky Era incarnation told the current one.
Link then pointed at the next one, a rather short one with a small fox mask on top of his head, and Ruto yelled, "Fiancé!"
She tackled him to the ground and was pried off by Darunia. Link helped his previous incarnation up and said, "As I was trying to say, this is the Era of the Hero of Time Link. I don't know why you're so short…"
"Hey, you called me while I was in Termina! I had just stopped a giant moon from falling!" the Hero of Time yelled.
Link ignored him and said, "And lastly this is…"
"Link! My little wolf pup!" Midna yelled, flying straight for the Hero of the Twilight Era.
"H-Hey, Midna…Nice to see you again," the Twilight Era Hero said.
"What about us?"
Link, his others and the Hyrulian forces saw three more Links arrive from the portals. Lana identified them as the Heroes of the Great Sea, Downfall and Force Eras. The Links looked at each other and the current Link told them, "Well we have more than enough to take down Cia's forces is the woods."
"C'mon! Links, let's go!" Proxi cheered.
Another portal opened and the group of seven jumped in it. It disappeared behind the last one and everyone was confused as to what had happened. Their confusion turned to fear once more as a fifth portal opened and the Links returned with proud looks on their faces.
"Mission complete! Nice work, Great Sea Link!" Proxi cheered.
He blushed and said, "I couldn't have done it without Mister Downfall Era Link!"
"Wow, Mister Current Link! You're amazing! You beat Cia single-handedly!" the Hero of Time Link said to Link.
"Hey! Did you see Sky Era Link out there?" the Downfall Era Link asked.
"Yup! He really gave those Moblins a wallop!" Great Sea Link added.
"Yeah and Twilight Era Link was so cool! How did you turn into a wolf?" Sky Era Link asked.
The seven Links began chatting, each overlapping the other. Lana and the others could barely understand what they were saying as they started to switch into odd jargon. A few moments later, the seven cheered, "Team Link! YAH-HA!"
Darunia was the first to say something.
"Hey! They just won the war for us!" Darunia yelled.
"Yes and with great speed and efficiency," Princess Zelda added.
"Of course they did. Each of them is Link. You know how he gets when he wants something done. He'll do it himself, without us…and getting into a world of trouble," Captain Impa told everyone.
Midna had a mischievous look on her face and she gathered the generals around, minus Link.
"Okay, I have an idea. Let's make them compete for the 'Best Link'. That way we can get him to do more stuff for us," she said.
"Are you sure that'll be okay? He's damaged the timelines even further," Lana said.
"The timelines will be fine. Trust me," Midna said.
Lana couldn't help but have a bad feeling about the idea. Link cleared his throat and said, "Well, I hope that our actions inspired you guys to be better soldiers."
"Yup. We learned our lesson. Thanks, Link," Midna said.
Proxi piped up and said, "He's always happy to help."
"And show how true heroism looks like," Link added.
"Oh no! Not you, Link. I mean the other Link," Midna chided.
Link looked to Twilight Era Link and he smugly said, "Aw, I never knew I would teach you something, Midna. Especially since you're a know-it-all…"
"What?" Midna yelled.
"She didn't mean you, Mister Link. She meant the guy with the nice, green color like a grasshopper," Agitha said.
The Hero of Time, Downfall Era, Great Sea Era, Sky Era and Force Era Links looked at their tunics and said, "Why thank you!"
They all glared at each other and the current era Link said, "Hey! I'm the 'original recipe'! The best!"
The Hero of Time put on a menacing looking mask, changed his form to that of a very tall, very angry deity. He grabbed the current era's Hero and asked, "You care to test that theory?"
"Hey, what about me? I gotta be the best one! I have to be as I was the first one! The real 'original recipe' Link!" the Sky Era Link yelled.
The Twilight Era Link frowned up and said, "Hey, there's no way I'm not the best!"
"Clearly I'm the best. I did what you guys couldn't! I killed the Demon King!" the Great Sea Era Link said.
"I did too!" Twilight Era Link retorted.
"Me too!" the Downfall Era Link added.
"And I did too," the Sky Era said.
The Force Era Link looked a bit sad and walked away, feeling left out. He opened a portal back to his time and jumped in. Lana tried to go after him, but failed.
She turned and saw that the Links were arguing, wanting to know who was the best. So, Darunia proposed that the best Link was the strongest, fastest and the most adaptable to any situation.
"So…the best Link would be the one getting us popcorn the fastest…" Captain Impa said.
The Links were confused.
"Getting popcorn? How is that going to…?" Great Sea Era Link asked.
The current era Link took Lana's spell book and opened a Gate of Time. He jumped through it, taking the tome, and screamed, "IT'S GOING TO BE ME!"
The other Links were furious and followed. Lana felt guilty, despite Link taking her weapon earlier, and said, "I feel horrible about this. Shouldn't we have fought Cia with Link and prevent all this mess?"
"Yeah, but he did it for us. Remember the old saying: When you don't wanna do something, get someone else to do it," Darunia said.
The group went into agreement and the guilty feeling in Lana's heart went away. But she couldn't help but feel that something bad would happen with many Links running around, doing their chores in different timelines.
Okay, so that's the first chapter in this humor fic. Hopefully someone will look at it.