[Credit for this idea goes to my sister, asked if I could make a small one shot adaptation and she said it was cool]
Itachi had finally gotten an opportunity to sit down. He had just returned from a particularly annoying mission; assassinating some corrupt government official as a request from the Land of Stone.
On the way back, Kisame had started complaining about something. Itachi doesn't even remember what it was about, nor did he care.
All he remembered was that he had wanted to gut the water-nin like a fish and make sushi.
But now that they were back at the hideout, he was starting to calm down. (Well as much as he could knowing there's at least four crazy other cold blooded killers milling about.)
He leaned up against the wall and closed his eyes, debating whether or not to get some food. Suddenly a frantic noise was heard outside and Deidara burst into the room, panicked.
"Senpai!" The blonde rushed over to the Uchiha, his Akatsuki robe billowing around him as he ran. "SENNNPPAAIII!!"
Itachi lazily cracked open an eye to glare at the rouge stone-nin. "What?" He asked in his bored monotone voice.
"I'm CHOKING!"
"You're...what?"
"SEE?!" Deidara quickly held his arms out for Itachi to get a look. The Uchiha raised an eyebrow. Both of Deidara's wrists seemed to have something stuck in them. And now his hands were starting to turn purple.
"What were you even-? You know what? I don't want to know." Itachi massagued his eyes, he was too tired to deal with this. "Hey dobe!" Tobi poked his head into the doorway. "Yes senpai!?"
"Help baka over here."
"Yes! Tobi will help! Tobi's a good boy!" The strange masked man retreated for a minute before the two rogue-nin heard an odd sound.
Revvwwww...
"What is that noise-hm?" Deidara looked worriedly at his hands, both of which were still changing color.
"How should I know?" Itachi asked tiredly.
"SENNPPAAIII!!" Tobi burst back into the room. "Tobi will help!!"
REEVVVWWWWREEVVVWWWWREVVVWW!!
"Where did he get that-hm?!?!"
"How should I know!?"
"Tobi put the chainsaw down-hm!" Deidara shouted as Tobi started chasing him around the room. Deidara was practically tripping over his robe to stay clear of the rotating blades.
"SENNPPAAIII!!"
"TOBI NO!"
"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"
"A LITTLE HELP UCHIHA?!"
"No, I'm good." Itachi replied from his spot on the wall.
"TOBI PUT IT DOWN! NO TOBI!"
It wasn't long before Tobi corned the panicked stone-nin.
REEEVVWWWZZZZZZZZZZCCHHH!!
"TOBI FOR THE LOVE OF- YOU CUT OFF MY HAND!!" Deidara shouted, looking horrifed at his amputated arm as Tobi powered down the chainsaw.
Deidara quickly grabbed his arm off the ground and smacked Tobi with it before storming out of the room.
One last shout was heard down the hall as he left. "Kakazu! I need you to fix my arm!"
"Again?!"
Itachi chuckled to himself. What a bunch of idiots.
"Did I help Senpai?!" Tobi asked excitedly, obviously waiting for some sort of praise or approval.
"Uh... Sure."
"YAY!"
The End