The One Where They're More Than Friends
Joey sat on the almost overly cushioned black leather recliner and shoved another chip in his mouth. He had already gone through two bags of chips (he was now onto the third), a jar of salsa, three ice cream sandwiches and a slice of left over pizza from the night before. He wasn't doing anything else, only eating. By this point he wasn't even hungry, he was just bored. It was uncommon for him, but Joey was having one of those days where absolutely none of his usual activities sounded appealing to him. He had flicked through every TV channel and couldn't find a single thing that caught his eye. He had pulled out a script and tried to practice his lines but he had no one to practice with and although he didn't mind reading by himself, talking into a mirror was never the same as bouncing off someone else. He had gone across the corridor and knocked on the door but Monica and Rachel were both out. He entertained the idea of visiting Ross for a little while, but the commute to his apartment building proved to be too much effort. So having nothing else to do, he decided to start cleaning out his pantry and fridge like any self-respecting food lover would do when they were completely out of other entertainment options.
His head flopped to the side lethargically, and he couldn't help but think that he'd have been so much happier right now if Chandler were there. He always managed to lighten the mood. It didn't help that his boredom was compounded by the fact that he was waiting for a call from his agent for a roll he was really excited about, that just made the minutes seem like hours.
Suddenly the apartment door burst open and speak of the devil, Chandler waltzed in smiling happily to himself. "What's up, Joe?" He asked as he threw his keys on the island and turned to the fridge to grab a coke. When he turned back to his friend to really look at him for the first time since he had entered, he saw Joey looking at him straight-faced with his hand resting in a bag of salt and vinegar chips. "What's wrong?"
Joey rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and moaned "Boooored," out in the most childish way possible.
Chandler narrowed his eyes. "I don't trust you, something about the way your fondling that bag of chips tells me you're having the time of your life."
"Yeah, yeah," Joey nodded his head brushing off Chandler's sarcastic humour. "Seriously, I'm dying here! I can't find a single thing to do."
"Have you tried switching the light on and off repeatedly? I hear that tends to entertain small children rather well."
Joey shook his head. "I hate you so much."
"No you don't," Chandler rebutted. He walked over to the recliner and took a seat on its arm. "You love me and I love you." He paused and then gritted his teeth. "That sounded a lot gayer than it was supposed to."
"Don't be so defensive," Joey said. He put his bag of chips down on the floor and nudged Chandler's arm. "There's nothing wrong with admitting you love the old Joey-meister. Everybody loves Joey."
"Maybe everybody would love Joey more if he stopped referring to himself in the third person," Chandler backhanded.
"Remind me again why we're friends," Joey said.
"Because ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony?" Chandler offered, opening his can of coke and taking a swig.
Joey smiled. Even when he had no idea what Chandler was talking about, he knew the guy was being more witty and clever than he himself could ever hope to be. For all the seriousness in life, Joey could always count on Chandler to make light of any situation – a trait that would never go unappreciated.
"Have you tried channel surfing?" Chandler asked, getting back to the topic at hand.
"Yeah," Joey sighed. "Nothing good is on."
"Not even Baywatch?" Chandler blinked. "Damn. Well, what are Monica and Rachel doing?"
"They're out," Joey informed, nicking the can of coke from Chandler's unsuspecting hand and taking a good chug from it.
"Hey!" Chandler snatched the can back as Joey lowered it from his mouth. "That's my can, if you want one go get your own from the fridge."
"Your drinks always taste better," Joey said, shooting Chandler his infamous sickeningly charming one sided smirk which made the women sigh, the friends roll their eyes and Chandler want to gag at the sheer unadulterated seductiveness that Joey put almost no effort into exuding from every particle in his body at any given moment.
"Because you haven't had to get up and retrieve them," Chandler retorted. He looked at the can. What was he supposed to do now? Joey had contaminated it with his salt and vinegar coated lips, and who knew where else those lips had been. They had shared drinks before, but Chandler always hated it. Joey wasn't exactly known for his hygiene practices, and living with the guy gave you insight into exactly how things went cleanliness-wise. If not knowing someone's hygienic practices made you uneasy, knowing Joey's just put Chandler off even more than the former option. He didn't really have another choice, so he stuffed those thoughts to the back of his mind and drank the remaining liquid in the can.
Joey watched as Chandler hesitated before downing the rest of his drink, but let it go. "So, what do we do?"
Chandler paused and then shrugged his shoulders. "Damned if I know."
There was a noise outside the apartment that sounded like a shuffle, followed by a thump and then the opening of a door. Chandler smiled satirically and tilted his head to the side. "Sounds like Rachel's home, wanna go and visit?"
Joey grinned and nodded quickly. They both stood up and walked out of the apartment to see the door of Rachel and Monica's apartment wide open, with several bags sitting outside waiting to be taken in. Without a second thought Joey picked up half of the bags and took them inside, Chandler sighed and feeling like he was now obligated to help so he didn't seem like an inconsiderate douchebag, picked up the other half.
"Knock knock, the cavalry has arrived," He sang as he brought the bags over to the small dining table where Joey was already standing.
"Chandler, is that you?" Rachel poked her head out of her room and smiled. "Chandler, Joey! Hey guys, I just got home from shopping."
"Really?" Chandler knitted his eyebrows together mockingly. "We thought these were just the bags you put the body parts in."
Rachel rolled her eyes and came out to the main living area. "Thank you for taking the bags in, I got a bit carried away today."
"A bit?" Joey gestured to the pile of bags. "Did you buy an entirely new life?"
Chandler looked over at Joey in surprise but the actor didn't notice. Usually Joey was pretty slow but every now and then he would unexpectedly pop out a witty line, and Chandler was always pleasantly taken aback by it. What he just said was pretty funny, even Chandler could admit it.
"I just bought some tops. And some pants and skirts… and some shoes… and a handbag…" Rachel scratched the back of her head. "Okay, okay, I have absolutely no money left but it was totally worth it."
Chandler pranced over to Rachel. "We won't tell Monica, but only if you let us borrow your new skirts."
"Ha ha, very funny." Rachel walked over to the bags and started taking them to her room. "Don't say anything you two, you know how Monica is about money, especially if it isn't hers."
"You mean how she's the flesh-and-blood Ebenezer Scrooge? Yeah, we're familiar with that." Chandler walked back over to Joey and the duo both looked at Rachel pointedly.
As Rachel dragged her shopping into her room, Joey couldn't help but notice how Chandler's hand had so subtly brushed against his when he had come back to stand next to him. It was probably nothing, probably completely unintentional. Chandler probably didn't even know it had happened. But Joey hadn't been able to stop himself from noticing these things as of late; it was like he had become hypersensitive to Chandler's presence around him. The way he walked, the way he talked, the way he liked to put his hands in his pockets when he was traversing a room or the way he shimmied his head from side to side when he thought he was being particularly funny. It was the little things, the insignificant, minute, microscopic things that were beyond trivial which Joey couldn't stop zeroing in on about his best friend; and he didn't have any idea why. This had been going on for weeks now. He had thought about mentioning it to Chandler, but that idea was quickly forgotten when he realised that it would probably just make things super weird between them; for the same reason he hadn't told anybody else either, but the more he tried to ignore it the more it plagued his mind.
Chandler looked at Joey who was looking down at their hands. Most of the time Chandler had no idea what could possibly be going through Joey's head, but even so he couldn't stop himself from puzzling over the strange things his best friend did. "You okay there, Joe?"
"Huh?" Joey snapped his head back up and nodded. "Oh yeah, I'm fine, totally fine!"
"What is so fascinating about our hands?" Chandler asked.
Joey froze. He couldn't tell Chandler what he was thinking about, he'd have to make up something. "I was just thinking about how girlish your hands are." Joey internally let out a sigh of relief. That was a close one.
"Of course," Chandler replied mockingly, "To match my girlish figure!"
Joey nodded in a 'yeah, yeah' fashion and turned around to raid through Rachel and Monica's fridge. He might have been going crazy, but at least he'd have something to eat.
Later that night found Chandler and Joey sitting in their lounge, tipsy from the several beers that they had both ingested and going off on tangents that one could only postulate while inebriated into some altered state of consciousness.
"Where do you think ducks come from?" Joey wondered aloud, staring off at the ceiling.
"If I had to hazard a guess, I'd probably say from other ducks," Chandler replied.
"Yeah, that makes sense." Joey nodded.
"Speaking of ducks, have you seen the Chick and the Duck? I don't think I have today." Chandler looked around the room without getting up from his chair, but failed to find any sign of the two poultry.
"They knocked over my mug of coffee this morning so I sent them to my room for a long time out to think about what they had done. Then I let them out for a while when you went down to get the mail, but they weren't out for long cause it got past their bedtime and they started getting cranky, so I put them to bed." Joey ran a hand through his hair. "I swear they're little rascals."
"Joey, they're birds," Chandler responded.
"I never said they weren't, what are you talking about?"
Chandler ignored Joey and bent over to pick up the TV remote. He switched the television on and started flicking through channels. There were several movies on, but none that looked interesting, at least to Chandler. Joey apparently had other ideas.
"Dude! I think you just flicked past Die Hard! Turn it back over!" Joey started flailing and pointing at the TV excitedly, trying to urge his friend into doing as he requested.
"No Joey, we are not watching Die Hard again. I've already seen it so many times I can recite every line off by heart, I think that's enough." Chandler kept flicking through channels, ignoring Joey's hurt expression.
"Come on Chandler, you love that movie! Please just put it on, pleeeeeaaaasssseee!" Joey leaned forward and pouted as hard as he could.
Chandler lowered his hand to his lap. "I said no Joey."
Suddenly Joey was out of his seat and lunging at Chandler. "Give me the remote Bing! We're watching Die Hard!"
Chandler's recliner snapped back as Joey clambered onto his lap and began grabbing for the TV remote, which Chandler was just barely holding up out of his reach. "Not on your life, Tribbiani!"
There was a scuffle as Joey continued to fight for the remote and Chandler refused to back down and hand it over. One particularly rough push caused the recliner to fall over backwards with Joey and Chandler rolling back with it. The duo both screamed in shock as their centre of balance was suddenly thrown off and their hearts jumped into their throats. The shift in position caused Chandler to now be laying flat on his back, arms outstretched above his head, while Joey had fallen face down on top of him.
It took a few seconds for them to regain their composure and for Joey to lift himself off of Chandler so they could both reclaim the oxygen they had lost. Joey breathed heavily and laughed, but when he looked down at Chandler his chuckling caught in his throat. Having Chandler underneath him like this gave way to some very disturbing, very inappropriate thoughts. Joey cursed his mind; he was not going to start thinking about Chandler like that. He couldn't: it was his best friend he was talking about here.
Quickly Joey stood up and Chandler watched after him. Joey's sudden silence was unusual. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Joey said very unconvincingly.
Chandler slid awkwardly out of his chair and then got to his feet. He stood the recliner back upright and picked up the remote. "Here, if it means that much to you watch the movie. I didn't think you'd get this upset about it."
Joey looked at the remote but shook his head. Maybe it was just the liquor that was making his heartbeat a thousand times faster than in should have been; it was probably to blame for the butterflies in his stomach as well. Butterflies? Since when did Joey Tribbiani get butterflies? He was definitely loosing it. "Nah, I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"But we were gonna watch a movie," Chandler said, confused at the sudden change of atmosphere in the room. Before he could get a straight answer however, Joey was already in his room and shutting the door. Chandler sighed and turned off the TV. There was no point staying up if Joey wasn't staying up with him, and he had to wake up early in the morning for work tomorrow anyway.
Meanwhile, Joey lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. What was wrong with him? The more he tried to reason with himself, the more he kept coming back to one thing: he was starting to fall for Chandler. That was the only explanation. This was so wrong. He couldn't help wondering what would happen if it got to the point where he couldn't even be in the same room with Chandler without having these weird thoughts. Trying to suppress himself was an uphill battle that Joey was slowly loosing day-by-day. What's more, beyond the complications this may or may not have been beginning to cause in he and Chandler's relationship, Joey couldn't even fathom how it would impact his friends and family. It probably wouldn't be so much of a problem with Monica, Rachel, Phoebe and Ross, but he knew that if he were ever to admit to his thoughts or heaven forbid, act upon them, his family would never forgive him. He was the only male in a family brimming with excess estrogen, and everybody had their hearts set on him finding a nice woman, settling down and starting a family to continue the Tribbiani legacy. If it turned out he played for the same team his mother would be heartbroken and his father would be beside himself. His sisters probably wouldn't know what to think, they would probably jump to the conclusion it was their fault or something equally as stupid since they forced Joey to wear their dresses when they were little. Joey had always liked the breeze, but it had never given him thoughts like these.
He turned over and closed his eyes. He would sleep for now and wake up to a new day. There was nothing he could do right at this moment, so he decided to focus on the audition he had lined up at two the following afternoon. Sometimes Joey felt lucky to be an actor, because when all else failed at least he could pretend convincingly that he was okay.
"It was really weird," Chandler said to Monica and Phoebe as they sat around the table in the coffee house. It was the next afternoon and they were all on their lunch break. Chandler figured it was worth mentioning the incident the night before, since it had seemed so out of place to him. "He was fine, he wanted to watch Die Hard, I wouldn't give him the remote, we had a bit of good-natured wrestle for it and the recliner fell backwards, and then he suddenly became really serious and said he was going to bed."
"Did you say anything to him?" Monica asked, sipping her coffee.
"No! I didn't say a damn thing! He just did an emotional three-sixty on me for absolutely no reason!" Chandler bit into his muffin rather aggressively and crossed his arms.
"Maybe something disrupted his aura," Phoebe mused as she tuned her guitar. "Like the other night, I had had a really nice dinner and was feeling great, but then my aura went totally out of whack and I got this incredible pain in my stomach and I ended up stuck in the bathroom for an hour."
Monica put her hand on Phoebe's shoulder. "Uh, I think that was food poisoning sweetie."
Phoebe paused and put a finger to her chin. "Hmm, no, pretty sure it was my aura."
Monica shook her head and turned back to Chandler. "Have you tried talking to him?"
"I haven't been able to talk to him at all today," Chandler replied. "When I woke up he was still asleep, and he didn't come out before I had to leave for work. I tried to ring the phone in the apartment from my office but he either wasn't home or wouldn't pick up."
"That sucks." Monica frowned.
Chandler snorted. "Yeah."
"Well then try to talk to him tonight," Phoebe instructed before strumming her guitar and singing a line of lyrics she had just made up on the spot, "Oh coffee pot, how you boil for me…"
"I have to try," Chandler agreed. "I'm really concerned, Joey never acts like this."
"Maybe it's not as bad as you think," Monica reassured. "Knowing Joey it will probably be something really silly and he'll be over it by tonight anyway."
"I suppose. I just can't shake the feeling that it's something serious."
"All you can do is ask," Monica said.
"I screw things up first, ask questions later," Chandler said in a mock-suave tone.
Monica rolled her eyes. "You'll be fine."
Joey rung his hands together as he stood out the front of Ross' apartment. He had ruined his audition through being too distracted by his thoughts. It had caused him to flat-out forget his lines and stumble feebly over the one or two he did manage to recall. Needless to say he knew he wouldn't be getting a callback for that particular roll; it was just as well, he didn't really want to be known as the guy in the chicken suit in the canned soup commercial.
He had decided he needed advice, advice from another guy. Some perspective, if you will. Since Ross was the only other guy Joey knew well enough to confide in besides Chandler, it only made sense he would show up at Ross' door and ask for some help. He wasn't going to give Ross specifics, of course, because he wasn't even ready to tell Chandler, let alone have the guys know. But he needed general guidance, and Ross was smart and had been in more long-term relationships than Joey had - even though they had all ended badly. He had to know something that could help, right? With a sigh, Joey rapped on the door and waited for Ross to answer.
It only took a few seconds for Ross to open the door, holding Ben in one arm. "Oh, hey Joey. I wasn't expecting any company, but come on in! Don't mind the toys on the floor, we were having play time just before you arrived."
"That's fine," Joey assured, stepping inside. He bent over and waved at the baby happily. "Hey Ben! So you're hanging with your dad today, huh? You must be pretty bored!"
"Hey!" Ross frowned. "I'm entertaining."
Joey smirked. "No, you're not."
"Did you come here to see me or to insult me?" Ross asked irritably.
"Actually I came here for some advice," Joey admitted, picking up a plush stegosaurus and moving it to the side so he could sit on the couch.
"Really? Well let me just put Ben down for his nap and I'll be right with you." Ross disappeared into the other room leaving Joey alone in the lounge. The actor tapped his fingers absently on his knee as he wondered what he was going to do. He was not very comfortable with telling anybody about this, but he had run out of options (or at least options Joey was capable of thinking of).
A few minutes later, Ross came out again and took a seat next to Joey. "So, what's up?" He asked tentatively, observant of Joey's visible discomfort.
Joey couldn't look at Ross, so he just decided to dive straight into it. "I have a question. What would you do if you were really good friends with somebody, and they were like your best pal, but then you started getting feelings for them?"
Ross sat up a little straighter in surprise. "Wait, you're not talking about Monica, Rachel or Phoebe are you?"
Joey's eyes widened and he put his hands in the air. "Oh my god, no! It's not any of them. Not that there's anything wrong with them, it just isn't them."
Ross pouted his lips in surprise and nodded. "I didn't know you were best friends with any other girls, I thought the closest relationships you had with any other women were with your mother and sisters."
"Well I do," Joey turned to Ross, slightly offended at the implication that he couldn't have any female friends besides the girls, despite the fact that his problem wasn't even related to one.
There was a pause as Ross mulled over Joey's question. "Well, that's kind of the way things started with Carol and I. We met and we just hit it off, we were really good friends for ages before I tried anything – I was too shy and awkward, but after I did make a move things went really well. If you're serious about this girl Joey, you should go for it."
The Italian wanted it to be that easy. But the way Ross said that girl instead of person just reminded him of how much everybody expected his one true love to be a woman, and consequently how much easier this would all be if Chandler was a woman, or if he had just fallen for a woman. Joey nodded absently, but Ross could see the apprehension in his behavior.
"You know they say the best relationships are formed out of friendships," Ross remarked.
"Yeah," Joey murmured in an uncommitted fashion. "This friendship is just really important to me, I don't want to ruin it or make things weird."
The paleontologist put a hand on Joey's shoulder. "If this girl is really your friend she'll understand. You'll just go on as if it never happened and you'll still be close."
Joey looked at Ross. "Are you sure man? What if it never goes back to normal? What if it changes everything? What if we can't look at each other the same way ever again?"
"It's either tell her or don't and always wonder what would have happened if you did," Ross replied frankly. "I'm still surprised you're this serious about a relationship, Joey. You're really starting to mature."
"Yeah, thanks," Joey said sarcastically.
"Look Joey, here's my final advice: all you can do is ask," Ross told him pointedly.
Joey sighed again and stood up, Ross' hand falling off his shoulder. "Okay, if you say so. I gotta go now, but I'll catch you later. Okay man?"
"Sure," Ross stood up. 'See ya later, man."
"See ya."
Chandler wiped his hand over his face and pulled a packet of instant mac'n'cheese out of the pantry. If Monica had been in the room she would have had a fit – apparently the stuff was an abomination to chefs everywhere. Chandler didn't really have an opinion on it one way or the other, food was food and if it tasted nice and filled him up then it was good enough for him.
He pulled out a pot and filled it with water, then put it on the stove to boil. After a few minutes he poured the macaroni in and started to stir it with a wooden spoon. It occurred to him only after he had done it that he had poured the entire box into the pot. When he thought about it he realized it was force of habit; it had just become an instinctual reaction to make twice the amount of food he really needed so that Joey had a serving as well. Chandler then sighed when he remembered that Joey was not yet home to eat the serving of mac'n'cheese that was currently being prepared for him. After a few more minutes of checking on the boiling pasta, Chandler turned off the heat and started to mix in the powder. He had left a bit too much water in so the mixture ended up a little too thin.
Chandler separated the pasta into two bowls before setting them on opposite sides of the kitchen island and pulling out a fork to sit down with his food. He slowly started to eat, all the while sparing glances at the lonely bowl of mac'n'cheese across from him. He wished he knew what was on Joey's mind, he didn't like being in the dark with his best friend; it worried him like little else did. He really hoped Joey would tell him what was going on tonight.
The door opened and Joey came in, holding his coat in his arms. He looked at Chandler sitting at the kitchen island and nodded at him in greeting. "Hey Chandler."
"Hey," Chandler replied. "I made us some mac'n'cheese."
Joey smiled. "Thanks!" He got himself a fork and pulled up a kitchen stool. The next few minutes were spent with Chandler and Joey eating their dinner in silence.
Finally, Joey couldn't take it anymore.
"Chandler, there's something I have to tell you."
Chandler lifted his head in anticipation. So he was finally going to get an explanation. Good.
"You and I have been friends for a really long time. A really, really long time. A really, really, really –"
"Not quite that long, Joe, but I get the point," Chandler interrupted.
Joey nodded. "Well, long enough. Now, you know you're my best friend, I'd even argue the bestest friend I've ever had, period."
"'Bestest' isn't a word, Joey."
"I'm trying to tell you something here!" Joey snapped. Chandler stayed silent and Joey continued. "But recently I've been having some thoughts…"
Chandler's eyes widened. "Oh my god, you want to move out of the apartment, don't you. Is this because I didn't let you watch Die Hard? Because I really didn't think you'd take it this far."
"What? No! I'm not going anywhere! And would you drop the whole Die Hard thing, I don't even care about that." Joey flailed his arms about in animation to get his point across.
Now more confused than ever, Chandler sat back dumbstruck. If Joey wasn't upset about the movie thing, and he wasn't wanting to move out of the apartment, then what could this all be about?
Joey ran a hand through his hair. "Look, the bottom line is… I think I'm falling for you, okay! There, I said it." His eyes started darting around as he blatantly refused to share eye contact with Chandler. "Y-you don't have to respond right away and I don't mind if you don't feel the same. I just can't get these thoughts outta my head. I hope we can still be friends."
Chandler gawped aimlessly for a moment before putting his fork down and jumping out of his chair. "I… Uh… We….. Me… You…Us…Wahhh…"
Joey jumped up from his chair and walked towards Chandler. "I know it's a lot to take in, and you don't have to say anything, or return my feelings or anything like that. I just had to get it off my chest, I'm sorry." He stopped in front of Chandler who was still blubbering like a bewildered fish.
Chandler took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "This isn't happening…"
Joey sighed. "I'm sorry!" He couldn't think of anything else to say, anything else that would be appropriate in this situation. There wasn't any precedent for this sort of thing. He wished he had an instruction book that could tell him exactly what to say and how to say it, like a script. Something familiar like that would have been beyond helpful.
"I-I need to think about this. I don't know what to say to you right now, Joe, it's a lot to take in and I just-" Chandler couldn't finish his sentence, he was too overwhelmed with confusion and shock to form any thoughts worth speaking aloud. He pushed past Joey and grabbed his coat off the foosball table and left the apartment.
Joey watched after him forlornly. He shouldn't have said anything; he should have just let it go. He ruined their friendship. He ruined everything. He still hadn't finished that bowl of mac'n'cheese Chandler had made for him. He might as well mope about his crappy decisions over food.
Chandler fell back against the wall halfway down the stairwell. He let himself slide to the ground slowly. This was all so sudden, he felt like his world had been turned upside-down and inside-out. His best friend had just confessed to being in love with him, and while he had not been expecting it the first and only thing he could think about was how he kind of felt the same. And that scared the absolute living crap out of him.
He knew Joey would be having a hard time reconciling homosexual feelings, but knowing the Italian his concerns most likely stemmed from his worries about breaking it to his family. For Chandler, something like this was a thousand times worse because it was an issue that was so close to home it had always been uncomfortable to even think about. He had been trying to convince himself for the last twenty-six years that he was not like his father in any way, despite his tendency to be flamboyant and feminine. It was just his personality, he had said. It was just the way he was. It didn't reflect on his sexuality at all. Except evidently it kind of did, and he had just been in a very long, very stubborn bout of denial. Although he had legitimately been attracted to and enjoyed the company of the women he had been involved with. So maybe he was bisexual; but that didn't seem right either, because he hadn't been attracted to any people of the male persuasion besides Joey, or at least he couldn't recall being attracted to any males besides Joey. If celebrities didn't count that is. But they didn't, because celebrities tended to be unbelievably attractive whether they were male or female.
So maybe he was Joeysexual. Maybe he just liked Joey, and it just so happened that Joey was male. But that didn't matter because it was still Joey, and that was the only thing worth worrying about. At least that's what Chandler tried to tell himself. Because he couldn't bear to think about all the years he had been mistaken for being gay, where people had laughed and winked at him when he said he wasn't. How everybody constantly told him that he came off as gay no matter which way you looked at it. The constant internal struggle he faced on a day-to-day basis to convince himself that he wasn't going to go down the path of his father or mother. He couldn't look back at that and then let it all go to waste because it was just untrue. Even after the fact, if he did not self-destruct over this, it was still better Joey than a pool boy. He still had some dignity left. No, he had all of his dignity left, because Joey was a genuinely good guy. He was a bit slow sometimes, but he was caring, and compassionate, and sweet, and always good for food. He never said no to lending money (when he had any to spare), he mooched but he paid back with movies and beers and chips and the best company ever. He was funny and charming and family orientated – a characteristic that most people in Chandler's life sorely lacked. He would do anything for his friends and he was always willing to put other peoples needs in front of his own if the situation called for it. What did the pool boy have? A cheeky grin and a nice ass? Joey was much better surely.
There was nothing gay about this. They were just two friends who were attracted to each other. Who happened to be of the same sex. Not gay at all.
Chandler stood up and shakily straightened out his coat. Did he dare go back to Joey and try and talk with him? Or should he go to Monica and Rachel's and see what they thought? Or maybe Ross? No, it would be too weird for Ross; he would be useless in this situation, at least right now at the beginning. He wasn't really ready to spill everything out to Rachel and Monica either. He could go to Phoebe, but what was the use in telling any of them? What would any of them be able to say? What could he say? Nothing, that's what. This was his problem and he had to face up to it, or something like that.
He trudged his way back up the stairs, getting more nervous with each step he took back toward the apartment. On one hand, he wanted to give himself more time to think about this – to hide away somewhere and ruminate on the past fourty-eight hours. On the other hand he didn't want to think about it at all, because it seemed that things would be easier for him if he just swallowed the toad and got it over and done with. The more he tried to rationalize his feelings the harder it would be to just face Joey. So he fought his way back to the apartment dreading every inch closer he got to it. He wondered what Joey was thinking right now. Was he upset? Was he relieved? Was he indifferent? Was he sitting in his barker lounger watching TV like nothing had happened? And what if Chandler walked back in there and that was the case? Did he just go about his business like nothing had happened? Or did he confront Joey anyway?
ENOUGH!
He needed to stop second-guessing himself. That wouldn't happen, because Joey was better than that.
Only a few more paces now and he would be at the door of his apartment. He swallowed the little saliva that remained in his mouth and flexed his fingers nervously. This was it. This was the big moment. He lifted his hand and turned the knob of the front door, opening it up to an empty apartment. Chandler sighed and threw his coat, which he had never actually put on, to the side. Joey wasn't to be seen. He walked forward into the lounge area. "Joey?"
There was no response.
He noticed Joey's bedroom door was open and walked over to it. "Joey?" He asked again, peeking into the room. Joey was lying on his bed, turning his gold bracelet around in his hand – the one that matched Chandler's.
He looked up as Chandler entered the room. "I'm sor-" but before Joey could finish Chandler cut him off.
"Don't be. You did nothing wrong, you just told me how you feel."
Joey sat up properly. He was afraid to ask, but he had to do it. "So, what do you think?" He waved his hands in the air. "You don't need to answer straight away."
Chandler sat down on the bed. "I-I don't need anymore time. I'm pretty sure I know how I feel."
The actor scratched the back of his neck. "…and?"
A silence fell over the room. Chandler watched his friend's facial expression turn from scared, to awkward, to disappointed. He wracked his brain for something to say, but nothing would come to him. So throwing caution to the wind, he did away with words all together and leaned into Joey, capturing his friends lips with his own.
It took Joey by surprise, but not unpleasantly. He didn't let himself sink into it or get hands-y like he usually would have though because this was still unstable territory, and the slightest mistake could turn the whole situation on its head. So he relaxed himself a bit, but he didn't lean in or move closer.
After a few moments Chandler pulled back and looked at Joey levelly. "That's how I feel."
Joey's lips morphed into a one-sided smirk. "Well, the feeling's mutual."
"Really? I would never have guessed," Chandler answered ironically.
"So, what now?" Joey put his gold bracelet on his bedside table and stood up.
"I think we continue to go about our lives: together," Chandler said.
Joey nodded and walked out of his room, Chandler following behind him. "My parents and sisters are gonna freak about this!"
Chandler smiled cynically and looked off into space. "My father will be so proud."
"Well at least the guys will be supportive."
"Hopefully."
"Don't be such a negative Nancy."
"Hey!" Chandler pointed a finger at Joey. "I told you only my mum is allowed to call me by my real name."
Joey laughed. "God, I love you."
Chandler smiled. "I love you too, man."
"Hug?"
"Yeah."
They embraced one another, Chandler burying his head into Joey's shoulder and inhaling the scent of his aftershave. Joey let one of his hands slide up and cradle Chandler's head. After a few moments they released one another and Joey picked up the remote and flipped on the TV.
"Hey, Die Hard is on again! Wanna watch it?"
Chandler grinned and flopped down in his barker lounger. "Sure!"
And for the first time, Joey didn't even think about getting something to eat.
Meanwhile next door…
"So how long do you think it will take for Joey and Chandler to come out?" Rachel asked as she flipped through the latest edition of Cosmo while Monica prepared their dinner.
"Give it a rest Rachel, you're not going to win our bet," Monica said, stirring the frying onions.
"Oh what do you know," Rachel said, smiling.
The two women looked at each other and broke out into laughter.
Monica turned back to the onions. "No but seriously, you're not gonna win."
"Watch yourself, Geller."
"I don't have to."
Rachel turned another page of her magazine and muttered under breath. "That's what you think."
The End.
Hey Guys! So this is my first Friends fanfiction and I'm fairly happy with how it turned out. I'm sorry if the end seemed a bit half-assed, I admit I've been working on this one and off for about two weeks and I finally had it and decided to round it off tonight.
Hope you enjoyed!
Amber***