Disclaimer: Oh come on, this is ridiculus, I DON'T OWN. What dumbass would give my Harry Potter, read the fic and you'll see what I mean.
IOWI
Remus Lupin, lycan and chocolate-eater extrordinairre was enjoying a quiet
evening in, thinking about how incredibly bad his life had become, when a
strange man in quidditch robes apparated into his house.
"Get out, go on, out with you!" Said Remus
"OK, OK, I'm going" He said as if offended, then disapparatedwith a 'crack.
Little did he know it, but this was the first omen...
Just then, there was a knock at the door, which Remus answered.
"Yo bro, how's it hangin'" Said Voldemort "AAAAAAHHH...wha..." Said Remus, slamming the door in his face.
He fire-called Sirius.
"Sirius, a quidditch player just appeared in my house, Voldemort's just knocked on my door, and I think the world's going mad! What do you think?" Asked Remus
"I've been thinkn' 'bout my doorbell, when're you gonna ring it,
when're you gonna ring it" Sirius answered.
"Okaaaaay then..." Said Remus, backing away, " I think I'll ask someone with a more intelligent opinion, hello fridge, what do you think?"
In reply, the fridge spouted arms and legs and did a nice little tap dance round Remus' kitchen.
"What...is going...on!" Said Remus, then ran into his bedroom, shoved his head into a pillow and screamed,
"AAAAAAAARRRGGGGGG, the world's gone mad"
It was then that he had the idea to fire-call the one person
from which he knew he would get a sensible opinion from.
He went back downstairs, to find the fridge singing a brilliant rendition of bohemian rhapsody from atop Remus' sofa.
"Get down from there now" Shouted Remus.
"NO" Shouted the fridge
"YO BRO" shouted Voldie from the window. Remus shut the curtains
in his face.
"now get down from there or else!" said Remus to the fridge
"NOOOOOOOO" Shouted the fridge, it pointed at one of Remus'
many bookcases, which promptly exploded.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Remus.
He hurridly fire-called Dumbledore(his original idea)
"Help me, I'm being attacked by a fridge and voldie keeps tapping on my window!" Said Remus
"Sorry Remmy, but I'm just off to my bi-weekly flamenco club,
-coming minnie!- "he shouted behind him " Gotta go!"
Remus sighed, he knew that today he would get an answer like that somehow. He went into the kitchen, looking for something to eat, just to find a smouldering pile of ashes sat next to the fridge, and the remains of a box sporting the message, 'Moony's chocolate, touch and you die'. "Oops" Said the fridge.
Remus was mortified,
"I... am ...going...to kill...you!" was all Remus managet to
to choke out before collapsing into sobs on the sofa. The fridge
stalked out, muttering something about knowing when it's not loved,
leaving Remus on his own, sobbing into the sofa
A/N: Hmm, you're still reading, perhaps you'd care to press that little button down there and review, it only takes a sec y'know. Flame if you really want to, but i just laugh at them, HAHAHAHAHAHA, just like that y'see.
ps: I'm writing a short sequel, for whoever's interested.